Don't Shoot Till You See The White Of It's Horn

The Britsh army on maneuvers in Kenya.

The cover story
This week British troops while on military exercise in northern Kenya got lost in the bush at night and stumbled across an endangered white rhinoceros, it was mostly endangered because it thought it would be a good idea to charge at these soldiers, always ready to fuck someone up the troops shot it.
It couldn't have been the slightly less endangered black rhino oh no that would be racist.


The real story
Back in the day there was so much game in Kenya, the expression "you got game" came from there, people were having white rhino burgers and steaks all over the place but I was going through my join a cult vegetarian phase so no meat for me, I used to look out at the herds of white rhinos and think "I wonder what they taste like" Thankyou British Army the cheque is in the mail.

The cover story
2001: The British military apologised for invading Spain over the weekend by mistake, 20 Royal Marines got slightly off course and stormed a Spanish beach near Gibraltar, they only halted the burning of the village of La Linea when police and fishermen told them it was Spain, the soldiers believed the fishermen as everyone knows they are trustworthy fellows.

The real story
Sometimes even the Royal Marines just need to lie on a Spanish beach and soak in the rays, surely it must of seemed odd that they invaded in Speedos and 6 packs of lager.