You know if you are a true Scotsman.
if you've had Alcohol posioning at least once and your first heart attack before the age of 25.
If by the age of 9 you were a 4 pack a day man and your da bummed cigarettes from you.
If you have as a mortal enemy not the English but your own liver.
If your stubbornness means you'll never quit smoking and drinking because quitting is for the weak.
If you consider somebody getting glassed in a pub fight as 'in house' entertainment.
If you venture into busy traffic on the off chance that the small round thing you saw on the road is a penny.
If you are prepared to fight to the death other Scotsmen that also see it.
If you are suspicious of strangers though you trust your own family and friends as far as you can throw them.
If you think that everyone else is soft and healthcare is only for the sick and besides its only a little blood that you coughed up.
If the sound of bagpipes stirs your blackened soul and you sing along energetically even if you don't know the words,"DA DA DA DA DA DA DA Scotland the brave".
If you're at the point were you punch foreigners who ask if you have a kilt and whats *under* it.
*amendment*
If hot foreign weemen ask this question as a pick up line they will not be hit, assuming they are not too hideous (as many foreigners are, esp Slavs) and will totally degrade me in the act of love making.
Monday 6 November 2006
Old Knudsen The Highland Laddie.
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11 comments:
Would you even punch a girl if she asked you what was under your kilt?
Thanks for the education.
If for some reason I had a kilt and for some reason wore it and a girl asked me this question well it depends how much she really wanted to find out. I'll tell ya whats under there, shrinkage thats what.
I've been softened by several generations of Americanization, but the McRee blood in me stirs every time I hear a bagpipe. And I never know the words.
the only time i was in scotland i got pneumonia, you damn foreigners and your blasted weather.
robyn I'm glad to hear it, there may be hope for you yet, the bagpipes are a middle eastern instrument used in the Scottish regiments of the british army and like the kilt its only pretend Scottish, but the tourists love it and they have found a place in our hearts, the kilts and bagpipes,not the tourists they can fuck off.
taihae should that not be damn dirty foreigners? well dry your eyes gurl it didn't kill you, so therefore you are stronger, and with that logic I accepted your thanks.
I wore a kilt for my wedding. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I am Kav McBogwarrior of the clan McBogwarrior and I canna die, you know those plaid skirts sexy school girls wear don't count as a kilt.
"Scotland the Brave," my arse. That's the Irish Springs soap song.
Why thank you for the amendment.
fat sparrow Soap and the Irish cannot seriously be used in the same sentence.
sassy sundry always ready to do my bit for foreign relations.
We Irish use soap, hell we shit nuts and bolts and then clean our arse with Lava soap. Wee buggers you argueing Scots. My Grandpa William Wallace Myers would slap me but Da would punch me if I didn't stand for the O'Dwyer Clan. Now, step outside and defend your honor!! lol
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