Sunday 19 November 2006

Hot Sex Midget Orgy.

Tom tries out his Jedi mind powers, "you do not see that I'm getting fat, these are not the Stars you are after", one question how does he manage to walk in those heels?

Just to be consistent I am mentioning the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, I fully expect to be able to tie it in with the divorce post I'll do about them within the next 3 years.
They got married in a medieval town in Italy, that means no running water, no cable and a brutal feudal system that doesn't think twice about beheading any paparazzi that don't bow to the High Cruise-ness.
The guests included Richard Gere animal lover extreme (gerbils) Jennifer lopez with the arse most men want for Christmas, Jim Carrey the most original funny man of all time (check that statement for sarcasm) David Beckham who is very pretty and can kick a ball, accompanied by his skinny skanky slapper spice wife, Roberta Armani who is the niece of someone famous and Brooke Shields who actually had to try acting by going around looking happy, Tom met her before the wedding and said " thankyou for taking the time to come to my wedding" then a quick photo op and not another word was spoken by them, Tom did mutter to one of his Scientology minders "keep that crazy bitch in line".
The ceremony was performed of course by a scientology minister, and so probably is as real as my wooden leg, the couple were dressed in silver space suits and the theme to Star Wars was played, when asked,"Thomas Cruise intergalactic lord and former big movie star, do you take this earthling as your 3rd wife, till divorce my you part " tom raised his hand and gave the Vulcan salute and said,"nanu nanu". When asked if she took this space God with the laser beam eyes and the views of an idiot as her lord and master Katie broke down in tears, until her scientology handler answered yes for her.

Tom and katie laugh as Tom uses his finger to zap a reporter.

Ah the happy couple, whats with the downgrade Tom? shes no Nicole, and whats with the marrying a rich crazy fucker Katie? I'm sure your career would have eventually taken off, maybe the rent was due and its not like marriage is forever or anything, has Suri started to levitate stuff yet? remember only happy thoughts, Scientology is good, you don't want to be sent to the corn field by a 7 month old.

The title is because this post is shite so I thought I'd have fun be seeing how many Germans I could trap when they search for the title.

Update: thanks to the title there is now a pack of dirty shites reading my blog, Egypt shame on you and your animal sex search, um unless you're a conservationist or something then it might make sense.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, you got me in. I wasn't disappointed.

Anonymous said...

lol.. well as inticing as midget are, this german gal was here on an even more twisted reason. I like to read you. *GASPS IN HORROR!*

Tom is crazy. And Katie no doubt spent countless nights masterbating to his days of thunder poster as a teen.

Anonymous said...

Right, that's it for your blog.

Old Knudsen said...

lars A pervert is someone who is into stuff others are not, I stand up for your diversity though being German is digusting.

ciaran nothing wrong with midget sex,I can't watch the wizard of Oz without a boner.

xmichra you my dear need help on so many levels, I do not want to think about katie and her Netherlands, who hasn't wanked to a Tom Cruise poster? anyway that was a shite movie, I saw it in the cinema, it was just a mess of cars.

hot sex midget intl flag me flag me, make me the next Christ.

Foot Eater said...

Tom's sporting some serious man-udders in that first picture. I have a theory that he is Scientology's brood mare and gave birth to Suri himself, while Katie is an android designed to make the whole union look plausible.

Old Knudsen said...

Mr Eater, I believe he will become what he fears most, to become human, you'd think they would make a better looking android without a face full of cold sores, at least I can blame the drink for some of the things I've woken up with, whats his excuse, exercise and vitamins?

sammy.the.k said...

xenu must be proud

Old Knudsen said...

He may very well be Xenu.

Jagd Kunst said...

If she was short of cash I'm sure she could get her tits out again. That's what they're for right?

Anonymous said...

As Suri's representative, she has asked me to inform you that she will be along shortly to respond, as soon as her daddy unhooks her from the metronome.

Old Knudsen said...

jagd Kunst I always wondered what they were for, I just thought they were fleshy bags of fun given to men by the creator.

the other Gurl Whats with the hair on that child? I suspect its hides 3, 6's.

Taihae said...

she looks dazed. and about 12 years old. I think you should cut the lass a break, knuds, no one is immune to the jedi mind powers of tom cruise and he is probly channeling L ron Hubbard by now, the girl never had a chance.

Old Knudsen said...

But she isn't 12 and will get the full wrath of Knudsen, next you'll be telling me to feel sorry for Tom cos he lost his job, Hubbard can fuck off, him and his space telescope, I believe his death to be a tax dodge as I saw him looking at the shampoos in Superdrug last week, I called him on it but he kept his cool and denied it until security escorted me out, yet another place I can no longer go to.

BEAST said...

I am very dissapionted , where's the sex????. I never liked Katy Holmnes when she was in Dawsons Creek(not that I ever watched it of course) , miserable old bat

Old Knudsen said...

I'm sorry Mr Beast, if I was Tom Cruise I'd marry good looking weemen in the hope that my baby didn't turn out to look like a suri excuse of a human ape hybrid thing.