No World Today

If Christianity is correct then today is the end of the world so no one will be reading this. I say 'Christianity' because it does tend to make up a load of bullshit without evidence and promotes it as fact ... The kind of stuff I never do.
Did you know that Jimmy Savile, the ex-mayor of London had the minivan that he molested 200 children in blessed by the Pope when John Paul II was giving him his papal knighthood? .... true story bro.

Or is it?

I doubt the world has ended just as much as I doubt anything else from organized religion but I support yer right to be fooled by it, we all want to feel special. Look within yerself for the truth rather than to external lies from others.

 

The End Of The World So Soon After The Last Time

Don't have enough crazy in yer life? Then get yerself some religion. Pastor Lindsey Williams says an asteroid is heading our way and we're fucked, not proper fucked though so it's probably just a five-megaton city killer rather than a 100-megaton cuntry killer. If a cuntry killer were to land on Ireland would the destruction stop at the Northern Ireland border? I suppose if it were a Fenian asteroid it would probably say that Ireland is one cuntry .... just my luck, a fucking shinner asteroid.

I don't know if a 100 megaton could destroy several small cuntries or just one big one, I ain't no Scientologist, go ask Neil deGrasse Tyson since he knows it all according to Facebook memes. 

Williams says that on 24th September "the Abyss will open and the days of darkness will begin" then he says to know what is coming in the next 4 years you should buy his book.

 A typical Illuminati coven.

An asteroid will hit and the Illuminati will rise up and take control during the chaos. The sort of thing that Russell Brand is into, don't vote because the system is unjust, trust in the Illuminati instead. The Illuminati promise us social reform and pledge to revitalize the NHS and rid us of the pre-existing paradigms of this bacchanalian profit driven dystopia.

But will they get rid of the bloody immigrants cos they are the ones that cause all the trouble, it used to just be Irish and Jews but now we've got that lot from Ebola landing on our beaches in rubber boats.

 Caitlin Jenner after her extra chromosome implant.

Never mind all of that, did you see Caitlin Jenner twerking at the kids choice awards? She is sooo courageous and not at all hideous inside and out. DAMN YOU ILLUMINATI AND YER DISTRACTIONS!!!!!!

The question is, why is NASA pretending like there are no city killing asteroids coming at us at the moment, are they in on it too? Before we know it we'll hear a thump and though there may be a cloud of ash killing all the crops the 1% will be ok with their gold plated fans and heat lamps while the poor plebs throw buckets of ice over their heads and share cat videos.

 Persecuted like Jesus.

  

Pastor Williams also says the stock market will crash in September or October .... no shit a big fuck off asteroid is going to hit us, we'll be trading sex for food and burning bank notes to stay warm. 

Of course he also said the dollar would crash in 2014 but instead it got stronger, um God works in mysterious ways maybe? 

Williams has friends in the Illuminati elite and has all the answers, if you buy his DVD Healing the elite way you'll see he knows all. He asks the question 'Why has no US president ever died from cancer?' .... it's because they have the cure. Ok sure president Grant died from throat cancer cos he loved his cigars but we'll ignore that one, other presidents have had cancer but it never killed them. 

Sure Reagan might have given his daughter the cure and Clinton should have given it to his Ma but you don't get to the top without being a cunt, except for Carter who was lovely. 

Wow this Baptist minister sure has a lot of irons in the fire, I count 14 DVD sets that give you everything you need to survive the New world order, everything except money cos you'll be buying his shitty DVD's ach you should have been dumping yer money and hoarding gold anyways. 

 

 

The World Ended, Go Home

They prefer the Four Horse-people of the Apocalypse. 

I know that all the end of times shit is getting old, how many times does the world have to end for fucks sake? When it does end we'll all say, "didn't see that coming" because the world is already gone ...... flatlined, no pulse, bereft of life. 

Who would have thought that the world would end and you still have to get up in the morning to go to work? Maybe this is Hell, did anyone see people getting the rapture? Christians are way too smug to get raptured and probably too bust molesting children or judging others to bother with that shite anyway, which was invented in the 1830's and doesn't have the Bible seal of approval.

A Christian couple from Texas (of course) just didn't bother to educate their 9 kids as they thought the rapture was close, they are still here, would God pick the dumb as fuck ones? If I was God .... I have only played God on TV and in the operating theaters. I would pick interesting hot people like, well give me a minute on that one.     

Nostradamus wrote not about ethnic cleansing but ethnic looting. 

In a state of misery and Louis the saint, black and white shall war, Walls of mart and the lockers of foot shall be no more and the Verizon store shall be heard no more. 

The big G's shall loot for their Merlot in their under cackers as they be too gangsta to wear a belt.  

I had no idea what this meant until I saw that there were riots in St louis county in Missouri (pronounced misery)  because the police shot an unarmed black dude who was robbing a Mini-Mart, what better reason to burn the Mini-Mart to the ground? Some brother got shot, better raid Wal-Mart, burn some shit doon and riot.
I'm telling you, civilisation will never catch on. Now and again it has a reset in which a barbarous people come in and kill all round them. No not the blacks, that's fucking racist, what about the slavery dude? Nah it's the fucking towel heads that will get ya.   

Nostradamus did not see this one cumming. 

Ann Summers is the vendor of sexy Lingerie so I am told. The British government finally got sick of parades, Loyalists and Fenian cock suckers that they put a ban on Northern Ireland people having sex and breeding. 

Police are outside this shop to prevent anyone getting any funny ideas. That won't stop us, just put a brother and sister in the same room and you'll see. A baby was just put up for adoption as the mother now 16 couldn't care for him. 
She was made pregnant when she was 13 by her 15 year-old brother. Not many details of the case have been allowed to be told so I'll fill in the probable blanks, Pentecostal and Ballymena.   

For such an uptight people and place, these lingerie shops stay open but I never see anyone coming or going, very strange. 

The Antrim hospital treating an Ebola victim ... ach you'll be grand, have a cup of tea. 

Edgar Cayce predicted that by 2020 half of the world's population will be dead from a deadly outbreak. Hey he predicted the beginning and ends to both world wars the death of JFK and Gatorade blue. 

Already we've seen Ebola spread through west Africa, within 12 seconds of a person getting infected they are on their feet ripping at the flesh of any healthy people around. In the 80's we were able to contain such diseases with strategic airstrikes deep in the jungle but now everyone has camera phones or will tweet about it. 

Social media will destroy mankind cos no one wants their airstrikes to end up on Twitter. 

Sylvia Browne predicted there would be war in the Middle east shortly before she died in November of 2013, an important personal event that she didn't predict.

War in the Middle east, now we have it .... un-fucking-canny I'm a believer! So this kitten loving cunt Abu Hairy Kebabi or whatever his name was, he left Florida to go and fight in Syria. Imagine his surprise when they told him that because he was so shite at war that he had to blow himself up for Allah.

I bet they were sniggering when they said it. He barely knew a word of sand savage and was probably just yer usual convert to Musliminity, a mouthy death to the great Satan toss bucket.... Hey that Abu guy did it, he actually did it, he drove that truck into that restaurant and it blew up, he definitely killed some people ..... of course he did I pushed the button to explode it myself, wasn't leaving it to that plonker.
When Al Qaeda spends a load of money to train you, and then after all of that puts you into the crack suicide squad then you know you have to be shite.

The world did end but people were too busy looking at their phones to notice. That's why I don't believe movies or TV shows, the heroes are never pulling out their phone every 20 seconds or staring at it as they walk along. We put blinkers or blinders onto horses so they don't get distracted but humans seem to want to be distracted, I really doubt that people are more intelligent than horses, going from experience.



So the world has ended, what do we do now?

The End Is Nigh

Aye it'll fall off while it's in yer ass.

Old Knudsen takes the end times very seriously which is why he asks his psychic fuck buddy from Bulgaria, Baba Vanga what the score is. 

She has predicted that the last president of the US will be black, red money will replace green money, the dragon will put it's paw onto the world and that a blonde woman will help Bulgaria escape the end times crisis. 

 

Some of these prophecies were made in the 90's, disbelieve them at yer peril. The last black president, who can it be? 

Well Obama is only half black so it can't be him. It must be Morgan Freeman, his inspiring memes on Facebook has moved millions .... and he's in everything, worse than Michael Caine he is. I'd vote for him, then again I'd vote Gary Busey for preez just for the lolz. 

Red money taking over from green????? American money is green, so this could mean that maybe money from communist states take over, the Chinese do have a 100 yuan note. China and Australia want to use the yuan instead of the dollar in trading which is a huge blow for the US with it's limp as fuck currency .... Nah lets go deeper. 

Oil is bought using the dollar, it's at $101 dollars a barrel, that price was driven up thanks to all the Bush made wars and so the red money could be blood money.  When the sand savages stop trading oil in dollars then you can really panic.

The dragon putting it's paw onto the world is an obvious reference to Game of thrones, Baba probably watches .... er listens to it, I mean who doesn't? 

I refuse to watch it because it isn't the exact same as the books and I'm a cunt.

If you don't watch Game of thrones or GOT as we coolios call it then go slap yerself. Just remember folks, I liked midget porn long before it went mainstream .... shit, now I'm a midget porn hipster. Ok then Baba, what has the mother of dragons got in store for us? will she get her dragon eggs out for the lads again?

Quality TV, aye sure it has plots, lines, swords an shit but I only watch it for the midget porn and the barbarian rape. 

What blonde woman could Baba mean when she says a blonde woman will help Bulgaria?  Could she mean Angela Merkel the Chancellor of Germany ? Another reference to the Khaleesi? or maybe it's president Hilary Clinton?

Does the rug have to match the drapes? 

Why would someone help Bulgaria? sure it's an EU cuntry but who cares? Bulgaria is looking at a deal to build it's own nuclear power station in order to reduce it's reliance on Russia. 

That's a bit of a slap for Russia who operates 2 nuclear power stations giving Bulgaria it's electricity. 

The Czech Republic, Finland, Hungary and Slovakia, are all 100 % dependent on Russian nuclear fuel. Bulgaria isn't cutting all ties with Russia as it still gets most of it's oil from Russia so they can still call the shots. 

Maybe Russia will impose sanctions to match EU sanctions that went into place for shooting yon airliner doon.  

Baba foresaw the death of Fast and Furious star Paul Walker and if Orlando Bloom wasn't such a pussy he would have slapped that scrawny little canuck doon. Imagine being known for being a dick rather than for his music. 

She also saw Stalin's death date,  The Chernobyl disaster, David Hasslehoff destroying the Soviet Union single handed, Israel getting more space to park their big American cars and you reading this post, she said you've have trouble getting past that Game of thrones GIF but after the application of some lotion and Kleenex you would be victorious ... sorry for the anti-climax.    

Are We Still On?

The dead are attacking the living the History channel was right!

I originally started writing this post on April 27th 2009 and kept it on schedule until December 21st 2012 when the bloody Mayans believed the end of the world was to happen. I've revisited this post as the world and my life has changed.

Has it ended? Is Old Knudsen still here and posting?

I shall predict what happened on this day:

Buildings shall fall into the sea
We become cyborgs
Death from above
A new people will arrive
War
Famine
New disease we can't cure
Reality show gossip
Kim Kardashian will update Twitter wearing a new outfit and making an air kiss .  

The usual.

I don't believe the world will end and so what if it does?  Humans are cunts!

We don't deserve this planet and all its resources all humans have done is spoil. Living is nice and all but really what a pack of ungrateful wankers we are and we haven't learned from past mistakes we just keep on repeating them.   Look at the Fast and the Furious movies if you don't believe me.

Old Knudsen may be dead (thank you Mayans) and in case he is hes scheduled the odd post to pop up 2013 and beyond so fuck you prediction of doom.

Remember the good times even if you don't recall their names.


If I am still blogging in this inconsequential world of cyber shite then enjoy this post from the past.