Pastor McConnell Worships Lucifier

Pastor James McConnell is looking to have a fine holiday in the sun before his heart gives out and wants you to pay for it. If there is enough to pay off his online debts from gambling and porn then excellent, if not then fuck youse. 

He has already had a serious heart attack but God rejected the cunt and sent him back to earth. What to do when you need some serious dosh .... talk smack about the competition. McConnell who is a pastor at the Whitewell Metropolitan Tabernacle in Belfast said "Islam is heathen, Islam is satanic, Islam is a doctrine spawned in hell."  

Just like that huh, have you been saying it for years and no one noticed? I think he wants to boost his congregation and what do Loyalists hate just as much as the Fenians? Yes, everything else! 

You'll get people going to church just to spite the Muslims, it's what Loyalists do. The idiot sheeple will go and McConnell will pass the buckets round and profits will be doubled... so sayth the Lard! 

So he doesn't like all the violence in the Quran? "I will instill terror into the hearts of the unbelievers, smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them."

Fuck me baldy, that sounds a bit rough. I bet God (the real one) wouldn't do shit like that, he's a god of love and rainbows an shit, except for the bit when he said, "Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites."

Which is why you don't see any around today. The rainbows were cos he drown everyone with his love .... lolz.


Pastor Paul Burns of Adullam Christian Fellowship of the ring Church in Sandy Row, south Belfast jumped in and said, "yeah, wot he said" shut up Pasta Burns, no one cares.


Yeah yeah yeah, you old timey firebrands (a colourful way of saying cunt) go on about Muslims blowing up buses and so they must be Satanic because Christians wouldn't do that right? no wait, the IRA did that, ah but you already think they are Satanic cos they are Catholic, shit this is confusing.

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Seriously people, stop being such fucking morons. Religion isn't supposed to be a call to arms to fight and destroy the enemy, this isn't the time of the crusades. The best way to stop religious  fundamentalists is by not being just another kind of religious fundamentalist. Only a clear head and a steady hand will stop those who try to blow up buses no matter what their belief system is.

Old Knudsen looks at each religion saying how they are the right one and thinks now what could be the greatest lie ever told that would serve the Devil's purpose by putting brother against brother each committing atrocities in the name of all good and all holy, that constantly has mankind at war letting them choose of their own free will to justify evil by naming it good?

Yep you guessed it. Christianity, Islam and Judaism were all created by Satan and every soul you save in yer giant expensive tabernacles are actually going to Hell.
Every black soul that denounces something they don't like and uses their position in the community to imply that it's yer duty to attack it will go to Hell as certain as Jimmy Savile, all the Popes and big Ian Paisley when the cunt finally dies .... if he will ever die.

What can you expect from people whose imaginary friend kills children to make a point?  

God is looking at how far out of hand his little social experiment has gotten he can't even drown us now cos we are too many and are everywhere. Besides Satan took the almighty's  job centuries ago and God retired and now lives in a gated community tending his plants on an allotment .... but no fucking apple trees, they attract talking snakes.

The End Of Twitter As We Know It

If Old Knudsen had feelings they would be hurt. The world leaders no longer confide in him, maybe it has to do with Wikileaks and yer Snowden fella but Old Knudsen isn't being kept in the loop ... oh maybe it's to do with me telling everyone what they say, ya think so? ach I'm my own worse enemy.

Luckily they still do audience testing by putting out shows like Revolution and Life after people to see how they would react. It's also a public consciousness thing.

If you watch end of the world type shows then setting fire to people who might be infected will seem a bit more normal.
People actually look forward to a zombie apocalypse how fucked up is that? Well done media brainwashing and if you have OCD doesn't being a prepper seem like heaven? stock yer beans and soups in alphabetical order why don't you.

Reverse psychology, here is the bad guy .... love him.  

Oh look it's the bad guy from Revolution.

Oh look, it's Satan.

Oh look it's that other bad guy from TV .... um whats his name?

Just recently 2 US military generals and 1 Navy admiral stopped Obama from using 3 nukes, detonated simultaneously at points across the US to cause an electro magnetic pulse wiping out all unshielded electronic devices and setting the US back 200 years.

Just think of the control someone who had stock piled and was ready for an event like this would have and who would know what the fuck happened and if they did how could they report it? 

Why would he do that? .... Why would he get you addicted and dependent upon social media only to cripple you?

Because hes in league with .....  GOD!

Aye it's true, everyone fears the Devil but it's God you need to watch out for. Thanks to those 3 patriots who will very quietly lose their high level security clearance jobs cos they fucked up the plans on moving the nukes.

Now they have to go to plan B which involves letting terrorists onto American soil and throwing a lot of money towards Iran.

Ach but don't worry for Old Knudsen is here, watching the media and telling the truth. He doesn't listen to the verbal diarrhea war mongering hate speech known as Christianity. Life is full of sign posts, you just have to find them and know how to read them.

I've Got A Demon In My Penis

 

 The exorcist gurls and their hoormaster Giles.

As Old Knudsen has said many a time, Arizona is on a Helmouth. How else can you explain the zonies who live there? Yes the same as Texas and Florida too, Satan's chosen counties. Three little gurls (who are not Charlie's Angels) travel around the world exorcising demons, mostly in backwards superstitious places like Africa, Arizona, Russia, Ukraine and Northern Ireland. 

 

L-R Tess Scherkenback (18) Brynne Larson (18) and Savannah Scherkenback (21)



The girls all met at karate class when they were younger and during a sleepover  Brynne Larson decided one of the other girls was possessed and convinced the two sisters to help her exorcise their friend.

 

There is always at least one lesbian at a sleepover, this one was the daughter of  reverend Bob Larson who claims to have carried out 30,000in his 30 years of avoiding real work. The dildo shaped like a cross should have been a give away.
In Old Knudsen's day an exorcism at a sleepover was called a hazing ..... not that he went to sleepovers of course.

 Buffy the vampire slayer has finished, please move on people.

According to the gurls you can get sexually transmitted demons, if you fuck a hooker over a wheelie bin behind the Golden Garden Chinese restaurant you can get her demons .

Priests are always very obliging if you want protection, they'll best yer cock and rub some holy oil on it as long as it remains yer little secret.

The gurls say there are different demons all around the world. for instance the ones in Britain will say "ave your tea" instead of "have your dinner" or "troosers" instead of "pants" yes Demons can be very tricky, especially when you don't get their sarcasm.

You smell like pee and stale cum old woman, tell us where yer money is or we'll exorcise you into a care home .... hit her with a god smite Brynne! 

 

The girls are quite concerned about the Harry Potter books which has made the UK a hub for evil and witchcraft. "The spells and things that you're reading in the Harry Potter books, those aren't just something that are made up, those are actual spells. Those are things that came from witchcraft books." says Tess with a toss of her bouncy hair while still maintaining her vacant smile.

In the Midlands in 2012 a 13 year-old girl blinded her parents when she shouted  "Conjunctivitis" at them. 

In March 2013 a teenage boy's penis grew then exploded when he recited the chant "Engorgio."

Old Knudsen used "Avada Kedavra" to kill Hugo Chavez and "Obliviate" to make you forget that I just told you that. 

 We are like warriors kinda like Zena, battling against the forces of evil and we like to kick butt.

Helping weemen who had been sexually abused as well as alcoholics and drug addicts, it's a very valuable service. Luckily many are believers and know all the moves on how to react when exorcised ... look it up on YouTube if you need to learn.  

Bob Larson Brynne's father asks for a donation for exorcisms or else he'd have to get a real job. 

"People will pay thousands of dollars to go to drug rehab or to pay psychiatrists but there's this idea that spirituality needs to be for free."

Yeah what the fuck is that about? Jesus never gave fuck all for free, "just make me a fucking leper again I can't afford yer bill and sending Peter round to break my fingers won't get you yer money, any chance of fixing my fingers while I'm here?" 

If Old Knudsen had these gurls giving him an exorcism he'd expect a happy ending before he parted with any money.  

 

I've Got Some Round The Back

Nearly that time of the year again in which you invite "Old Nick" er I mean Jolly saint Nicholas into yer homes to brainwash yer shallow idiot children with crass commercialism and eat and drink too much and make bad choices with drunken sexual encounters at work parties.

I just thought I'd get into the spirit of things and post a Christmas picture. Just remember people its all about lil baby Jeebus who, according to the history books and the History channel was born on the 25 th December, fucked if I know what year it was. I do know that after Jeebus was resurrected into his holy zombie state he never sent his Da a single father's day card. This gives hope to dead beat dads everywhere, whatever the children have against them at least they didn't crucify the wee cunts. (well probably not)