Kicked In The Punjana

When a product is so good and speaks for itself then you can call it anything you want but when yer product only sells in low end grocery stores maybe a re-name might be a good idea. Here are some marketing fails.

I wonder if ass juice is used in the so juicy. Who wants to tell the world that their arse is juicy? The stains and the smell should announce it anyway. 

Vagina slitz .... first impressions last.

Maybe after their mammy buys them some loungepants she can then help them to find their Wally. Theres a specky cunt in a hat doon my hoosers!

We live in a time in which it is soo easy to make up nicknames for lady parts.

Does the rug match the drapes? just dye yer snatch if not.

I am a good boy with my package full of beef.

When my bone gets sucked my sass isn't that colour.

I like the Hyundai STD series, the Hyundai Herpes is a sporty wee number with staying power. It is now totally acceptable to buy a STD.

Busts and unblocks yer plughole or yer money back.

This is just odd, I don't know why this exists. Of course Old Knudsen bought it.

This was actually changed, before it said For Uppity Negroes but because that makes the word FUN they changed it.

I buy a packet of these and get a few bust the hole donuts.

To think, someone put thought into the names of these products, sure it may not have been much thought but still. I suspect that English is not their first language. 

I've Got A Demon In My Penis

 

 The exorcist gurls and their hoormaster Giles.

As Old Knudsen has said many a time, Arizona is on a Helmouth. How else can you explain the zonies who live there? Yes the same as Texas and Florida too, Satan's chosen counties. Three little gurls (who are not Charlie's Angels) travel around the world exorcising demons, mostly in backwards superstitious places like Africa, Arizona, Russia, Ukraine and Northern Ireland. 

 

L-R Tess Scherkenback (18) Brynne Larson (18) and Savannah Scherkenback (21)



The girls all met at karate class when they were younger and during a sleepover  Brynne Larson decided one of the other girls was possessed and convinced the two sisters to help her exorcise their friend.

 

There is always at least one lesbian at a sleepover, this one was the daughter of  reverend Bob Larson who claims to have carried out 30,000in his 30 years of avoiding real work. The dildo shaped like a cross should have been a give away.
In Old Knudsen's day an exorcism at a sleepover was called a hazing ..... not that he went to sleepovers of course.

 Buffy the vampire slayer has finished, please move on people.

According to the gurls you can get sexually transmitted demons, if you fuck a hooker over a wheelie bin behind the Golden Garden Chinese restaurant you can get her demons .

Priests are always very obliging if you want protection, they'll best yer cock and rub some holy oil on it as long as it remains yer little secret.

The gurls say there are different demons all around the world. for instance the ones in Britain will say "ave your tea" instead of "have your dinner" or "troosers" instead of "pants" yes Demons can be very tricky, especially when you don't get their sarcasm.

You smell like pee and stale cum old woman, tell us where yer money is or we'll exorcise you into a care home .... hit her with a god smite Brynne! 

 

The girls are quite concerned about the Harry Potter books which has made the UK a hub for evil and witchcraft. "The spells and things that you're reading in the Harry Potter books, those aren't just something that are made up, those are actual spells. Those are things that came from witchcraft books." says Tess with a toss of her bouncy hair while still maintaining her vacant smile.

In the Midlands in 2012 a 13 year-old girl blinded her parents when she shouted  "Conjunctivitis" at them. 

In March 2013 a teenage boy's penis grew then exploded when he recited the chant "Engorgio."

Old Knudsen used "Avada Kedavra" to kill Hugo Chavez and "Obliviate" to make you forget that I just told you that. 

 We are like warriors kinda like Zena, battling against the forces of evil and we like to kick butt.

Helping weemen who had been sexually abused as well as alcoholics and drug addicts, it's a very valuable service. Luckily many are believers and know all the moves on how to react when exorcised ... look it up on YouTube if you need to learn.  

Bob Larson Brynne's father asks for a donation for exorcisms or else he'd have to get a real job. 

"People will pay thousands of dollars to go to drug rehab or to pay psychiatrists but there's this idea that spirituality needs to be for free."

Yeah what the fuck is that about? Jesus never gave fuck all for free, "just make me a fucking leper again I can't afford yer bill and sending Peter round to break my fingers won't get you yer money, any chance of fixing my fingers while I'm here?" 

If Old Knudsen had these gurls giving him an exorcism he'd expect a happy ending before he parted with any money.  

 

Teeange Gurls Like Cock ... Get Over It

During an Eminem concert at Slane castle a 17 year-old gurl snogged some 19 year-old bloke who fingered her up the duck pond and then sucked him and another dude off.

Isn't that a face you'd like to slap? 

Old Knudsen was a teenager once and telling them not to do something is just like telling them to do it. 

Children grow up too fast these days and very often their minds cannot keep up. Not every teenager  will be teaching themselves Greek like yon nerd from Bangor. 

The sucky pictures went viral, people calling her a slut and him a legend and the girl ended up in hospital needing sedating. 

The recent online bullying suicides is on everyone's mind. You make a mistake you need to get over it and be allowed to get over it so you can learn and move on. Making mistakes in public can be the worse thing ever ...... judging you.

The red badge of courage is a story about the American civil war in which a young soldier reacting to fear and the horror of war deserts his unit. Luckily for him all his mistakes were made during the fog of war, not posted on Twitter. He rejoined his fellow soldiers after learning from his mistake... probably gets killed with honour the end.

This gurl ended up in a meme before the purge on online pics began. 

Was she drunk, high, mentally unfit or just horny? Did those guys take advantage of her willingness to please ... well like duh! thats what young drunken louts do. 

The papers have called her teenager, teen, child and school girl, depending on how shocking they want to be. Many just leave out the fact shes 17 as that is a grey area here. You can smoke, get married and join the army or get yer tits out for a newspaper at 17. You can drive live on yer own and even get a job if they existed at 17 .... all that fun can start aged 16 if you want.

 

No wonder the papers leave that out. Can the police claim it's child pornography? I doubt it. She should have waited until she was 18 I suppose .... drop me a line then, ok?  

Old Knudsen has seen gurls the age of 9 up wards dressed in short shorts or tight leggings with a belly top .... WTF?  Do parents mean to dress their kids like hoors or are they just so stupid not to notice?

If dressing like a tramp from the age of 9 is ok then giving head to two guys in public aged 17 should be totally appropriate ..... not!

No one can tell most 17 year-old girls what to do and reminding them they aren't adults probably won't help.

We've been teens and what we do at home changes as soon as you get out the door, unless yer folks are slack fucks who don't care "I wore a belly top at yer age and was giving handjobs for cigarettes so what yer doin is fine."    

Not Old Knudsen, it was an example.

 

Lets hope young people are shocked into appropriate behaviour by the examples of others. Who is to blame here? lets blame the parents for not having a responsible adult with her .... like she'd accept that.

We can blame them for something I'm sure.

 

Lets blame Irish/British society that blurs the line of childhood at the age of 16. Lets remind kids that there are consequences for yer actions and be careful of where you are and who you are with. Also lets tell them to go put some fucking clothes on.  

 

Smells Like Teen Wookie

Teen Hoo hoo exposed in school photo


In Florida a crazed mother is demanding that her daughter's high school recall and reprint its yearbook because the teen, a junior may have exposed her tuna taco in a club photo.


The 16 year-old gurl explained that she didn't wear panties the day the photo was taken because she didn't want her panty lines to show.

The teenager hasn't been back to school since the yearbooks were issued. Her mother wants them destroyed. "I don't want any yearbooks out there with this photo in it because it's going to follow her," she said.

So will the slime trail she leaves on the seats at school, a track for males to follow.

Sickles High School doesn't believe it has to reprint the books. "We don't believe there's an exposure in the yearbook. It's a shadow," said school spokeswoman Linda Cobbe, "I have a hair pie myself and obviously know cooter when I see it."

Old Knudsen has looked at the photo and and cannot see blurt just blur. Observing the two pictures me thinks the lass should be slapped and sent to her room to study or to watch Dora the fur burger explorer never mind about panty lines.

Merely an excuse not to go to school or to get the attention of Playboy magazine. Sit and dress like a lady young lady you have plenty of time to slut it up after you graduate college.

The teens face, cooch and name have been with-held as she is a minor though I'm sure by now its easy enough to get all.