In Cod We Rust

 

 Look dad, it's a fucking fish invasion!

A war is raging, yes you may be weary of war but it's here and you either fight or you die. We shall fight them in the oceans, seas and other large bodies of water, we shall fight them in the rivers, lakes and ornament ponds, we shall never surrender! terms and conditions may apply  We shall serve them with butter or sauce made from cocks and tails, their dead unblinking eyes shall see defeat and the skillet, their doom shall be topped with tartar sauce and is a dish best served with chips.

Heavyn Nash (was almost named Destiny) a 14 year-old from Florida was boating with her mother and grandfather on the the Suwanee River when a sturgeon leapt out of the water and knocked her unconscious, it was only a couple of weeks since a sturgeon crashed through a boat windshield injuring the driver.
Police do not think it is the same sturgeon, they are aware of a group of Sturgeons that didn't stay in school and are operating as a gang in the area. 

Fishing boat captain Randy Llanes, 47 was recently killed when a swordfish he was trying to catch by spearing it, speared him.
Some think the attack was in retaliation for a 500-pound marlin Randy had caught the day before others say it was karma .... He is randy no more. 

Namor the Sub-Mariner and prince of Atlantis issued a statement, "For too long you surface-dwellers have destroyed the creatures of the sea and have used up and polluted our water but I say no more! Prepare to die, we will so fuck you up."

Aquaman the king of Atlantis was seen swimming around Houston with a 40oz can of Coors laughing maniacally at the floods and shouting out bad fish puns like, "look at this plaice it's a dump" and "hey baby, ya wanna catch crabs?"

Fishmen are complete assholes.

Smells Like Teen Wookie

Teen Hoo hoo exposed in school photo


In Florida a crazed mother is demanding that her daughter's high school recall and reprint its yearbook because the teen, a junior may have exposed her tuna taco in a club photo.


The 16 year-old gurl explained that she didn't wear panties the day the photo was taken because she didn't want her panty lines to show.

The teenager hasn't been back to school since the yearbooks were issued. Her mother wants them destroyed. "I don't want any yearbooks out there with this photo in it because it's going to follow her," she said.

So will the slime trail she leaves on the seats at school, a track for males to follow.

Sickles High School doesn't believe it has to reprint the books. "We don't believe there's an exposure in the yearbook. It's a shadow," said school spokeswoman Linda Cobbe, "I have a hair pie myself and obviously know cooter when I see it."

Old Knudsen has looked at the photo and and cannot see blurt just blur. Observing the two pictures me thinks the lass should be slapped and sent to her room to study or to watch Dora the fur burger explorer never mind about panty lines.

Merely an excuse not to go to school or to get the attention of Playboy magazine. Sit and dress like a lady young lady you have plenty of time to slut it up after you graduate college.

The teens face, cooch and name have been with-held as she is a minor though I'm sure by now its easy enough to get all.