Fame After Death

In 1993 Brandon Lee was shot by accident during the making of the movie The Crow. They got rid of the professional arms guy to save money and the prop master used powerful blanks that struck Lee in the abdomen and hit his spine. Surgeons tried for 5 hours to save him.

Other picks for Lee's part were Johnny Depp, Christian Slater and River Phoenix. I doubt the movie would have been as big a hit as it was without Lee's death.

CGI was pretty new back then but they completed the movie with body doubles, bad lighting and Lee's face superimposed on a double. I remember thinking at the time how in the future computers could bring back long dead actors for movies again. We'd have crappy John Wayne films and aging actors could be young again on screen.

   Errol Flynn or is it Alec Baldwin? 

Stars that got old and had the boozy puffy look to them could have a second go at stardom without weird ass cosmetic surgery. Oliver Reed very rudely died of a heart attack in 1999 before Gladiator had been completed so they quickly stuck his CGI face in for a few seconds to bring closure to his character. 

Bad CGI can be covered up with night scenes (Underworld) but these days you can do it in daylight and it stands up to scrutiny.   

Robert Downey jr looked amazing in that scene in Civil war when a computer program showed him as a youth. 

But it lacked the warmth of the real thing and looked a little too comic book like. You can see character in Downey's real face but not in the CGI version no matter what quips he comes off with. Still an amazing job though.    

 Old Peggy Carter and a young Hank Pym. 

Michael Douglas looked great when they de-aged him for Ant Man. Douglas' face isn't as expressive as Downey's so maybe that is how it worked better. 

Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button, Jeff Bridges in the Tron re-boot and Bruce Willis in Surrogates, anyone can be young again ... on screen. Someday there will be an app for your selfies too that actually works. 

 You can't expect a Princess to have trigger discipline. 

After nerds complaining that Princess Leia got old and fat in The Force Awakens, Disney made her young for a Rogue One cameo. Fisher had changed so much over the years that they couldn't use motion capture on her so an actress named Ingvild Deila played her part with CGI enhancements. 

Rogue One brought Peter Cushing back from the dead for the role of Grand Moff Tarkin but they ended up making him look like a frail old skeleton ... oh wait, that's actually him, my bad. 

The real fake Cushing. 

Is it ethical? The actor no longer has a say in what they do. Maybe they'll sign after death movie deals now. Cushing's estate no doubt gave permission and if it pleases the fans and makes them some money then whatever. 

If you think Hollywood gives out unrealistic goals and body image issues to the public then just wait for the eternal youth thing to really kick in. 

I want to see a Marylin Munroe Hollywood gang bang tape ... my original version was destroyed in a fire and I've always wanted to see Lana Turner get Bukkaked. 

Hugh Jackman was too tall to play Wolverine but did it anyways, he could do that role forever now and not have to worry about aging. After seeing a young Clint Eastwood in Coogan's Bluff I thought that he'd be a good Wolverine or a Judge Dredd. 

James Marsters is now 54 and would have liked to have a Spike spin off from Buffy and Angel but is concerned about looking too old for an ageless vampire. I'd watch the fuck out of that if they made it. 

Actors can do some easy money voice over work, get their face mapped and be working on one movie in real life with a CGI and body double doing another half a world away. Of course some would abuse this technology, Michael Caine would really be in everything then and for forever. 

    

 

 

The Women Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer

 

When I discovered that Buffy the vampire slayer wasn't an idiot teen show I started watching it a couple of seasons late. It was an intelligent and funny show which hinted at the genius of show creator Josh Whedon. Even if you don't like the Avengers you have to admit that Toy story and Firefly are genius.

 The title of the show no doubt put a lot of people off but if you give it a chance you soon found it to be a gem that stood above many other shows in quality in regards to the writing and acting and is still watched and talked about today long after its ending in 2003. It's #2 on Empire's 50 greatest shows of all time. Pangs from season 4 should be watched every Thanksgiving instead of Charlie Brown.   

Sarah Michelle Gellar played Buffy, a ditzy teenager who unknown to her had the destiny to be a Slayer. A Slayer is the chosen one, endowed with ancient demonic power to be used to destroy evil such as vampires and various other creatures that want to feed on humans, there can be dozens of potential Slayers but only one Slayer at a time. Buffy shoulders this responsibility like a teen would, a little hit and miss but eventually grows into the role of a champion.

There are so many well done fake photos of SMG ... this is probably fake. 

 

Williow was Buffy's best friend. A book worm nerdy type she became a powerful witch. Her character became the first show to develop a gradual and full-blown lesbian relationship between two of the major characters.

Alyson Hannigan went on to appear in American pie and How I meet your mother. She married an actor who appeared on Buffy and the spin off Angel. This is probably a fake picture too.

In the show her girlfriend Tara was also a witch.

 

Cordelia Chase was an annoying bimbo on the outside of the inner circle of main characters. She eventually became more of a likeable character and moved onto to the Angel spin off show.  

Not a fake pic, taken from the movie Bound.

 

 

Kendra was a Slayer from Jamaica (with a terrible accent) who was activated when Buffy died but she was then resuscitated with CPR. Kendra was killed by the vampire Drusilla.

When Kendra was killed Faith was activated as a Slayer. Used by evil to fight Buffy she eventually becomes good. There would have been a Faith spin off but the actress had better things to do. 

 

 

Anyanka was a vengeance demon who was turned human. She eventually aligned with the good guys. Famous for her phobia of midgets and bunnies. 

 

Glory was an ancient god in the shape of a hot chick and sometimes in the form of a bloke when her power was low. She was the big bad of the 5th season. Buffy defeated Glory causing her to turn into her male weak counterpart Ben. Buffy told Ben to leave and never come back but when Buffy left, her watcher/mentor Giles killed Ben because while Buffy is a hero who couldn't kill already defeated foes, Giles was a realist and knew Glory would come back. Buffy ends up giving her life to close a portal thus saving the world .... again.

Joss Whedon Is Too Busy Being A Legend To Be On Twitter

Joss Whedon is one of those guys that when you see he's involved in a TV show or a movie you say, "I might just give this a chance" unless it's Dollhouse which was utter shite.

To remind you of the good shit he has done he wrote the screenplay for Toystory and Atlantis the lost empire, was Titan A.E. any good? He wrote the Buffy movie ... bleh and created the brilliant Buffy TV show, and amazing Firefly TV show and movie and the very cool Angel TV show. He wrote The cabin in the woods which to my mind is classic Whedon fun, you can see his fingerprints all over it.

He wrote Dr Horrible sing along blog and wrote The Avengers screenplay and created Marvel Agents of Shield with his brother and sister in-law. He is one of those guys who gives work to the cool actors he's worked with previously. Shane Black is someone he has worked with and another one of those genius storytelling types.

While Old Knudsen is not queer he'd totally suck Whedon's juicy fat cock and gobble his man gravy like it was from KFC. Me useless man nipples are up and cutting my shirt like razors just thinking about it.

So there is this whole Black Widow gate thing in which Disney has been branded as sexist because there are loads of Marvel movies out and coming out (you hear that DC?) but no gurl hero movies ... oh sorry, that should be herowine herowin heroin not hero, I don't want to upset the little ladies, they might miss a stitch.

 

     No one tells me when I've had too much, not you or Black fucking slutty Widow.

Jeremy Renner who plays the Angry Archer in the Avengers did some Black Widow slut shaming because her character flirts. He issued an apology and then did the same thing on another show even though it upset people but he doesn't get it cos she's fictional, it's all silly to him.

No one has called for his character to get his own movie by the way.

Even Malala has called the Black Widow movie an important feminist issue to get behind, as long as they cover Black Widow's shameful female body head to toe and have her character chaperoned .  

The Rev Al Sharpton supports a movie too but the name should be changed to Fine Ass Cracker Ho of Color.

Whedon has done a Stephen Fry and quit Twitter in a huff ....  no not really the bloke is very Busy (unlike Fry) and tweeting is too much stupid and work to put up with.

In the Age of Ultron Black Widow says that she was sterilized so she wouldn't waste precious Soviet rubles on maternity leave and what if she never came back? To show they aren't sexist Disney is to appease the fans by giving her a prince to marry and advise fans to let it go and shouldn't little gurls be buying Frozen merchandise? 

Scarlett Johansson has been told to drop 10 LBS for the screen wedding which is to happen after the Captain America and Iron man movie called Captain America: Civil partnership in which Disney show they are also not homophobic.

Will the public swallow it?

So Whedon is booked up making movies until his tragic death at the young age of 67, can you blame him for giving up Twitter? Does Old Knudsen get paid for blogging? Pay me and I'll stop you tight fisted scrooges.

Smith is the bald one beside Harley Quinn. 

In other news DC have released like one photo of the eagerly anticipated Suicide Squad staring Will Smith, fans asked delving questions like 'Why do I only recognize Harley Quinn?' and 'Why does Harley Quinn look like Baby Spice?' and my favourite, 'Will, why are you not going to be in the Independence day sequel?'   

Smith was busy getting his aura cleansed in some secret Scientology ritual to comment.   


   

I've Got A Demon In My Penis

 

 The exorcist gurls and their hoormaster Giles.

As Old Knudsen has said many a time, Arizona is on a Helmouth. How else can you explain the zonies who live there? Yes the same as Texas and Florida too, Satan's chosen counties. Three little gurls (who are not Charlie's Angels) travel around the world exorcising demons, mostly in backwards superstitious places like Africa, Arizona, Russia, Ukraine and Northern Ireland. 

 

L-R Tess Scherkenback (18) Brynne Larson (18) and Savannah Scherkenback (21)



The girls all met at karate class when they were younger and during a sleepover  Brynne Larson decided one of the other girls was possessed and convinced the two sisters to help her exorcise their friend.

 

There is always at least one lesbian at a sleepover, this one was the daughter of  reverend Bob Larson who claims to have carried out 30,000in his 30 years of avoiding real work. The dildo shaped like a cross should have been a give away.
In Old Knudsen's day an exorcism at a sleepover was called a hazing ..... not that he went to sleepovers of course.

 Buffy the vampire slayer has finished, please move on people.

According to the gurls you can get sexually transmitted demons, if you fuck a hooker over a wheelie bin behind the Golden Garden Chinese restaurant you can get her demons .

Priests are always very obliging if you want protection, they'll best yer cock and rub some holy oil on it as long as it remains yer little secret.

The gurls say there are different demons all around the world. for instance the ones in Britain will say "ave your tea" instead of "have your dinner" or "troosers" instead of "pants" yes Demons can be very tricky, especially when you don't get their sarcasm.

You smell like pee and stale cum old woman, tell us where yer money is or we'll exorcise you into a care home .... hit her with a god smite Brynne! 

 

The girls are quite concerned about the Harry Potter books which has made the UK a hub for evil and witchcraft. "The spells and things that you're reading in the Harry Potter books, those aren't just something that are made up, those are actual spells. Those are things that came from witchcraft books." says Tess with a toss of her bouncy hair while still maintaining her vacant smile.

In the Midlands in 2012 a 13 year-old girl blinded her parents when she shouted  "Conjunctivitis" at them. 

In March 2013 a teenage boy's penis grew then exploded when he recited the chant "Engorgio."

Old Knudsen used "Avada Kedavra" to kill Hugo Chavez and "Obliviate" to make you forget that I just told you that. 

 We are like warriors kinda like Zena, battling against the forces of evil and we like to kick butt.

Helping weemen who had been sexually abused as well as alcoholics and drug addicts, it's a very valuable service. Luckily many are believers and know all the moves on how to react when exorcised ... look it up on YouTube if you need to learn.  

Bob Larson Brynne's father asks for a donation for exorcisms or else he'd have to get a real job. 

"People will pay thousands of dollars to go to drug rehab or to pay psychiatrists but there's this idea that spirituality needs to be for free."

Yeah what the fuck is that about? Jesus never gave fuck all for free, "just make me a fucking leper again I can't afford yer bill and sending Peter round to break my fingers won't get you yer money, any chance of fixing my fingers while I'm here?" 

If Old Knudsen had these gurls giving him an exorcism he'd expect a happy ending before he parted with any money.