Prince Charles, Serial Hypocrite

Prince Charles collecting magic mushrooms on a fairy hunt.  

Prince Charles was branded a serial hypocrite last week. The environmentally minded Prince who is all about saving the Patagonian flat footed wanker or some weird creature that only the most serious of trendy activists would have heard of doesn't think it matters if yer on home soil. 

  A pack of dogs ripping apart an exhausted fox is getting back to nature.

The prince had a polo match 68 miles away but his time is precious ... even though his day was clear of engagements. He scrambles an RAF helicopter to fly 60 miles to his country palace and then 68 miles to the polo match. 

Fucking bald eagles, just roast the beggar ... making the Windsor face. 

After the match he flew back home and the helicopter had to fly back to base. Instead of 4 gallons of petrol he used up 200 gallons of aviation fuel. Why should Charles have to drive for an hour and 45 minutes like all the other plebs when he can fly? Prince Charles is special, he's better than us because he happened to be the son of Elizabeth and Philip, sort of an inbred master race. He deserves to be given titles and land and in return he waves and tries not to say what he really thinks. 

Us commoners deserves his scorn and we're grateful for it. Old Knudsen comes from Scottish royalty and someday hopes to take the throne of England but it won't change him, he'll be the down to earth sexual deviant and psychopath you have all cum to love .... and hopefully fear. 

It doesn't matter that the royal helicopter is paid for by the £40 million Sovereign Grant his mummy gets from the government which are the profits from all the lands and estates the government have given to the royals. It matters that this cunt lectures us about our carbon footprint then uses a chopper when he doesn't have to. 

Ach the Queen can afford it since the government has given her a pay rise on top of her grant to cope with ... um things and she receives £1m a year in farming subsidies from EU. 

Like father like son. Prince William takes the wife out pheasant shooting and then he likes a spot of wild boar hunting in Spain. The royals just aren't like us no matter what cutesy pictures they put up. 

Prince George and prince William ... or the other way round I don't know. Fucking creepy clone kids. Even Charles looked like this as a toddler they must use the same body suit at this age. Who dresses their kid as a creepy ghost child anyways? 

We'll never be royals ... it don't run in our blood. We are nothing like them, who has rode on the backs of elephants to hunt tigers in India? .... the Queen and Philip racked up a few kills in the 60's. 

Prince Harry left the military, was given a knighthood for it and is now off to Africa on an adventure holiday to observe conservation. Yep you know what that really means, lets hope that Cecil doesn't have any more brothers. 

 A very chuffed looking Edward VIII. 

The royals have a long tradition of environmentalism but their version of it is different than most people's idea of it. Thanks to the royals, Donald Trump's sons, evil dentists, anyone with a few thousand bucks and the bloody Chinese the environment has declined so I'm not really in favour of people killing what's left ..... hunt hobos like the rest of us, 7 billion people on Earth and 6.5 of them are cunts, get stuck in.   

 

During the 'Save the endangered Great Grey Oyster' event last week Charles decided to save them in his belly, much to the delight of Camilla who said, "Oysters make him a randy old sod heh heh." After swigging from their royal hip flasks for most of the day they were soon ready for ...

 

 

Their Masonic eyes wide shut orgy.  Even with a mask on (a real improvement) you could tell it was Camilla cos even Ron Jeremy would be like a bee in a jar with that woman. She's a horse breeder you know .... yes that too means something else in royal circles.

Prince Charles Will Suck You Dry

Why would Prince Charles visit Transylvania? Well he owns several properties in the wooded region in north west Romania so maybe he was just checking that all the lights were turned off and getting those catalogs that his mummy won't let him have delivered at the palace .... wrong! 

The remote village of Valea Zalanului is where the prince (of darkness) likes to hang out (in bat form) and likes to sample some of the locals local food.  He also practices his dark arts of aromatherapy.

The hardest working yet least likeable royal has been enjoying the remote Romania countryside since 1898 1998.

Camilla hates to travel which is just as well because around the village the local lovelies call the prince, Charles the impaler. I won't go into details as I'm sure that just the thought of Charles impaling someone is enough to make you barf. 
Around the villages of Cornwall Prince Andrew often goes on the prowl for the odd 17 year-old and is known as Andrew the penetrater while Prince Edward is nicknamed Edward the is he or isn't he.

Charles actually goes to Transylvania to get more blood for the royal bloodline. Remember that Philip died during a heart op in 2011, he's been the walking dead ever since. The Tories have been trying to scrap the human rights act in order to fulfill Phil's dietary needs all legal like, the disappearing immigrants are bound to get noticed sooner or later.  Someone is bound to ask, hey all those immigrants that everyone is complaining about ... where are they? Five Slavs working at the car wash is not enough to panic and vote Ukip over.

Until David Cameron can legally arrest, torture and disappear people on British soil within the confines of the law, Prince Charles will have to harvest young runaways from his body farm in Romania.



   

The Royal Birth Was Faked

Will and kate leaving the hospital on Saturday.

Yes the rumours are real, Kate Middleton did not give birth 12 hours before leaving the hospital. The baby in the shawl was a fake and the real princess Britney April Charlotte is at Kensington palace with a wet nurse. She actually gave birth at the end of last month, she chose a natural birth on the stone of scone surrounded by members of the Blood coven whose high priest can trace his linage all the way back to Jesus, he blessed the child with jackal blood then branded her with the mark of Satan, the secret natural birth is the way the royal family have done it for centuries. 

Clint Eastwood also assumed we were idiots too, in fact it looks like the same baby. Known as crisis babies which are used to fool the public.   

The facts: 

1) Kate looked too good.

2) She did not limp after pushing out an 8LBS 3 oz sprog. 

3) The babies' royal wave looked fake and mechanized.

4) The baby bounced twice when she dropped it, real babies only bounce once.

The reasons for deception: 

The Conservatives will probably win the election this week, to implement yet more austerity cuts they have used the royal birth as leverage. If Kate can get back to work after 12 hours of giving birth then what is your excuse? 

The Conservatives make these cuts not because they work (they don't) but for sexual arousal. You can see maternity leave being reduced to 12 hours and why don't you look that good too? 

Prince Charles played polo during the birth of his sons and during some funerals too, do men really need leave or are they just being wusses? 

After the Conservatives win the election and David Cameron laughs at how you fell for all his promises he'll launch a campaign telling weemen to make more of an effort with their appearance as if promotes good health and vigor as demonstrated by perfect English rose Kate Middleton. 

William and Kate were unable to comment as they were on a hiking excursion in the highlands of Scotland. 

A spokesperson for Downing street said, "W e should all .... especially women, follow the great example set out by William and Kate, I'm following William's example of only working 47 days in a year so I'm of on my hols next week, laters."  

Prince Charles Is An Alien

Charles having trouble with his skin suit. Look at his badly fitting hands.

Prince Charles has complained that he never gets to see his grandson George. The reason why is that the Middletons and Prince William want to protect George from the Windsors who are really emotionless reptile aliens from the planet Pindar. William's human half has seen that feeding off humans is wrong and is going against his reptilian parasitic nature. 

The reason that Prince Charles never got along with Diana is because human women are too weak for a reptilian male and so Charles had to keep going to his reptilian sex workhorse Camilla for a happy ending.  His sons were conceived with clever alien technology known as a space baster. 

If Prince Charles is ever made king we shall expect a reign of terror.  King Charles I was beheaded by parliament for having sex with spaniels, King Charles II spent the nation's wealth on hoors and gambling, he died from syphilis that he got from a Frenchman .... look it up. 

King Charles III will ban all foods that are not organic and clothes will only be allowed to be made with natural fibres, with the food shortage there will be riots, he'll close the NHS and offer aromatherapy instead but his scented candles and oils of death will only give his meat ... you the people, more flavour.

Some humans at the top will be allowed to live in comfort for having sold out humanity. Mostly politicians, police chiefs and former Prime Ministers. 

Power plants will be fueled by old people and the TV will only have shows about farming and the country life. 

Would you let him near yer kids?     

Cameron Defends Saudi Visit

We're here to kiss Saudi ass for oil.

David Cameron defended his and Prince Charles' visit to pay their respects to the late King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. While the king was being referred to as a liberal reformer who stood up for weemen's rights the Union flag flew at half mast over Buckingham palace. The Queen is said to be quite envious of the power that the Saudi royal family have over their subjects.

"We only went over so Prince Charles could see some Kings, it's the closest he's ever going to get to a king since he'll never be one himself .... lol!" 

 Death to the bloody infidel Yanks!

The Prince converted to Islam 5 years ago which makes him invalid to become king as he has to be Church of England which is the state religion, also having had his first wife killed and becoming a rich toff hippy who would like public healthcare replaced with aromatherapy doesn't help his case either. Besides, the public have decided that they want Prince William to be the next king, Charles isn't really an option.

Cameron went on to say, "I know many think that we shouldn't have gone as we are then tacitly endorsing Saudi's horrendous human rights record but I fully understand this and did ask the Saudi government to wait for us to leave before beheading any women in the street or flogging any bloggers." 


 

Upgrades For The Poor

Lets face it poor people are not very nice to look at and make the cuntry look so untidy. Prince Charles and Princess Camilla inspected the government's latest employment scheme that targets the poor long term unemployed and disabled to get them back into the work place.

A cybertronic upgrade will enable users to become a valued member of society rather than a burden. Have you ever saw someone in a wheelchair and said, 'look at that lazy bugger, can't even be arsed to walk' ....... I'm sure you have, haven't we all?

With a cyber suit they will receive external motivation via free WiFi from a command center that will do away with excuses like, 'I'm blind' or 'I have Multiple sclerosis' and the user will want to do tasks set by them in order to repay society for all the trouble they've caused by getting terminally ill or losing their legs in Afghanistan.  

The best news is that children of underachieving parents can be assessed and fast tracked into the system too in order to save on a wasted education and health care.

 
A study has shown that 96% of children from low income families have the reason, logic and critical thinking abilities of a retarded chimpanzee and that within 2 months of leaving school they will have forgotten everything that was taught to them. 

Why give them rights and free will if they are going to waste it right?  

The royal couple seemed most impressed, especially with how shiny the cyber units were. A non-sexist, non-racist and non-discriminating way to deal with all the immigrants, single mothers and other loafers. 
  

A bright and shiny future could be yours .... and will be yours unless you buck up. 

Prince Charles Joins Al Qaeda

Prince Charles and his royal fuck buddy Camilla have joined the Islamic terrorist group Al Qaeda. Tired of waiting for his mother to die he sees this as a sure way to gain power and to embrace the traditional values of Jihad as set out by Osama Bin Laden which are 1) Death and destruction to the great Satan 2) Islamic states for everyone 3) Then we kill the Batman 4) Only natural fibers be worn.

Al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri met with the Prince in Qatar and it is thought that he will take a step doon and make Charles the number one as al-Zawahiri was never leadership material while Charles was born to the role. 

Charles recently made waves when he compared Valdimir Putin to Hitler and suggested that NHS doctors used herbal oils like lavender in their treatment for cancer instead of the expensive placebos  they use now. 

I'll fuck you up infidel 

Recently a memo from ISIS in Iraq said that all weemen in Mosul will be subject to Female Genital Mutilation. It is thought to be a fake memo however this is done in many Islamic states. When asked if Camilla will undergo FGM Charles answered, " Her genitals look like they have been mutilated all ready, they were like that when I got there ..... aaaaaa like slices of roast beef, my Willy Wonka certainly doesn't mind her droopy drippy laffy taffy though."    

It is unsure whether or not Charles will be still be allowed to be King should the Queen die or Abdicate, many would be happy if  Charles was passed over and William be made King. Kate has far better norks than Camilla any way.  

 

Prince Charles In Shock Dalek Alliance

Did you know that Queen Elizabeth II drinks a daily cocktail of baby stem cells, vitamins and horse hormones to try to out live Charles as she doesn't want him to be king?