Cameron Defends Saudi Visit

We're here to kiss Saudi ass for oil.

David Cameron defended his and Prince Charles' visit to pay their respects to the late King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. While the king was being referred to as a liberal reformer who stood up for weemen's rights the Union flag flew at half mast over Buckingham palace. The Queen is said to be quite envious of the power that the Saudi royal family have over their subjects.

"We only went over so Prince Charles could see some Kings, it's the closest he's ever going to get to a king since he'll never be one himself .... lol!" 

 Death to the bloody infidel Yanks!

The Prince converted to Islam 5 years ago which makes him invalid to become king as he has to be Church of England which is the state religion, also having had his first wife killed and becoming a rich toff hippy who would like public healthcare replaced with aromatherapy doesn't help his case either. Besides, the public have decided that they want Prince William to be the next king, Charles isn't really an option.

Cameron went on to say, "I know many think that we shouldn't have gone as we are then tacitly endorsing Saudi's horrendous human rights record but I fully understand this and did ask the Saudi government to wait for us to leave before beheading any women in the street or flogging any bloggers." 


 

His Only Crime Was Blogging

If you are going to post cartoons of Muhammad, you may get killed by fanatics. If you live in Saudi Arabia and criticize senior religious figures and suggest that the Imam Muhammad ibn Saud Islamic University has become a 'den for terrorists' then you might very well get sentenced to 1,000 lashes, 50 given every Friday for 20 weeks.

Raif Badawi is a Saudi blogger and is in prison receiving a flogging along with 10 years and a heavy fine. Some people (no world leaders) have expressed outrage that he is being punished for merely speaking but it's Saudi fucking Arabia, it isn't civilised so what did he expect?

"As soon as a thinker starts to reveal his ideas, you will find hundreds of fatwas that accused him of being an infidel just because he had the courage to discuss some sacred topics. I’m really worried that Arab thinkers will migrate in search of fresh air and to escape the sword of the religious authorities."

Terad Badawi, holding a picture of his father. 

The bloke wrote about freedom away from brutal (religious) regimes and how secularism respects everyone while religion keeps cuntries (including Saudi Arabia) in the third world. While he doesn't support Israel occupying any Arab cuntries he doesn't want it replaced with a crazy religious state... I thought it was already one.  "States which are based on religion confine their people in the circle of faith and fear." 

He condemned 9/11 and is ashamed that it was his nation which supplied those terrorists and that Saudi wasn't attacked by anyone yet it disrespects the beliefs of others.  

A cleric on the TV  called for astronomers to be punished on the grounds that they encouraged skepticism about sharia law, Badawi had a field day with that. 

"Actually, this venerable preacher has drawn my attention to a truth that had been hidden from me and my dear readers – namely, the existence of the so-called “Sharia astronomer”. What a wonderful appellation! In my humble experience and in the course of my not inconsiderable research into the universe, its origins and the stars, I have never once come across this term. I advise NASA to abandon its telescopes and, instead, turn to our Sharia astronomers, whose keen vision and insight surpass the agency’s obsolete telescopes. Indeed, I advise all other scholars the world over, of whatever discipline, to abandon their studies, laboratories, research centres, places of experimentation, universities, institutes etc. and head at once to the study groups of our magnificent preachers to learn from them all about modern medicine, engineering, chemistry, microbiology, geology, nuclear physics, the science of the atom, marine sciences, the science of explosives, pharmacology, anthropology etc. – alongside astronomy, of course. God bless them! They have shown themselves to be the final authority with the decisive word in everything, which all mankind must accept, submit to and obey without hesitation or discussion."
This is a normal, decent bloke who lives in a fucked up cuntry and he isn't allowed to be heard. All the while the west ignores what Saudi are doing because we're one of their top customers for oil and they are our ally.
Saudi Arabia, inflates oil to $100 a barrel for 10 years and when it drops to $40 a barrel they restrict production, it's well past time to shake these losers off our ass. 

Badawi's second lot of lashings were postponed as his wounds from last week were still raw and open .... ya think? So hungry for blood Saudi beheaded a woman on the streets of Mecca .... their holy city.

Laila Bint Abdul Muttalib Basim, a Burmese woman who lived in Saudi Arabia, was dragged through the streets then held down by four police officers.

She was convicted of the sexual abuse and murder of her seven-year-old step-daughter. It is alleged that she stuck a brush shaft into the child's genitals and beat her to death. A very odd crime for a woman to commit and it's not as if the Saudi judicial system is just, especially where women are concerned.

The woman screamed, “I did not kill!” and “this is unjust!” before the guy in the white dress hacked off her head, taking 3 strikes to do so. Sometimes the person being beheaded gets doped up but it didn't look like they did that here. 

But it's ok cos  at the Charlie Hebdo rally where world leaders linked their arms in solidarity and a photo op, people like the Saudi Ambassador to France turned up to show his nation's stand for freedom of speech.

Pope Francis didn't go because he believes in violence, he was quoted as saying, "If you insult my mother you can expect a punch."  

What he means is that the freedom of expression is a fundamental right but it does not mean that we should insult the beliefs of others .... bollocks sir! Ideas don't need rights, people do. I and anyone else should be allowed to criticize the beliefs of others if they are unjust (Catholicism) and oppress others (Catholicism) and if you choose to take offense because I call you a homophobes misogynist then maybe .... just maybe you are one.

Your mother is not a man created set of crazy ass beliefs, try to keep fact separate from fiction. That right there says a lot. I suppose you support honour killings too and raping women for being in the presence of a man who is not her husband.

Yer mother was a hoor who was so drunk all the time she kept dropping you on yer head and gave you lead paint to lick .... I shall await a time and place for my punch fanny boy. I will have to defend myself with as much force as I deem necessary and I sir, can quote Die Hard movies so watch it. 

Religions and beliefs do not need protection, people who suffer because of them need protection.

Raif Badawi needs protection. Charlie Hebdo and Raif Badawi are the same except the former mostly caused a stir for increased sales but the idea is the same. It may be that it's a man's mouth that often gets his nose broken but that doesn't mean it was fair to do it.

You should only resort to violence to defend yerself and others .... not the sainted memory of their mother or yer hurt feelings but defend their person from harm. Yes Pope, Charlie Hebdo were asking for it but they didn't deserve it and nor does Raif Badawi.   

I Treat You Like Family And This Is How You Re-Pay Me...... Then Again I Think My Family Are All Cunts

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Fuck this is annoying to find in yer links please everyone do this now! or a blog deleted page. Do you people know how close I am to snapping? no cos its all about yous.

Well I have news for you this reality you know of is a figment on my imagination and you are all my inventions as I am being played by a race of aliens as a reality type show. When you aren't in my life you all disappear, yeah how do you like those apples? And yer obvious reaction would be to think I'm nuts which therefore proves you are all made up cos thats what I would have you think.

In fact I might go all private and not invite anyone I've linked too and then see how you all like that. Of course you will all be annoyed for 5 minutes and then read someone else cos that is what I'd think you'd do.

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Out And About

If you see the Old Knudsen RV show me yer tits for a free t-shirt. Tits must be shown for a long enough period for Old Knudsen to have a happy ending.

Being a high profile blogger who is usually high on some form of pain medication I am well aware that everyone is out to get me.
No I'm not some paranoid freak when you have all this going on weemen want to do you and men want to be you and men also want to do you and weemen also want to change you and use oral sex as a motivational tool but that's another story.

I guess I would feel unloved if I wasn't constantly being stalked so I keep an eye on my surrounding at all times.
I went into an up-scale restaurant called 'Farmer Boys' yesterday for the first time. When I say up-scale I don't mean those ghey ones with waiters and table clothes, no offense to that silly cunt Manuel but really get a real job like digging ditches or something.

They give you a number to set on yer table and a woman does bring you yer food but they don't hang around like a bad smell for protection money known as a tip.

I ordered fish and chips, I asked what kind of fish it was and the cashier was surprised to hear that there was different types of fish.
Remember back in the day we'd call it Cod and chips or whatever it was but now its just 'fish' so I ordered it anyway cos what was I going to eat a burger with avo fucking cado on it or zuc fucking chini whatever that is?

When I'm out and about I do get a lot of 'fuck me' eyes from people but there was this one woman who was really making me feel uncomfortable enough to make me take my cap off and hide it in my coat.

I don't like to be watched when I eat and this lass was taking notes.

I couldn't eat half of my chips no it wasn't the gurl watching me it was because they didn't fucking peel them fucking lazy Americans get a Mexican in and pay them $1.00 an hour to peel yer fucking taters if I wanted my chips to taste like dirt I'd have ordered a fucking side of mud.

I also sent back my iced tea and told them to boil it and put some milk and sugar in it oh and it had a slice of lemon floating in it make sure nothing else falls into it.
I got the idiot looks I got at that sushi place when I complained about my fish being raw are they trying to give me semolina poisoning?

So anyway I left the restaurant noticing that the lass went over to my seat and started to sniff the place where I sat and was fighting the staff for my left overs and used cutlery. The mystery was soon solved when I went out into the car park and saw this.

Not a word of a lie I took this picture with my own wee camera. Its her.

Bloggers aren't the same as they describe themselves it seems, except for me what you see or read is what you get if yer lucky.
I learned my lesson when I went up north and visited First Nations and MJ boy did my preconceived ideas based on the pictures they sent me sure take a beating.

Not only are they not young female and hot but they don't wash.

Speaking of taking a beating. Ok its nearly the 4th July and woop de doo you beat the British by all means celebrate its not like you win many wars, two as far as I can tell and one of those was only because the French helped you. French loving losers.

Its a fucking week away stop it with the fire crackers, those of us that have served during war time are sick to death of diving to the floor every 5 minutes having flashbacks to Waterloo or Normandy all that crying ruins my mascara and makes my face all puffy so quit it you cunts.

The only blogger I want to meet is Mago here, maybe someday.

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I Just Took A Dump

I have gone through my links and weeded out those not giving me love but still taking mine. Blogs that don't link to me or did but dropped me and I was still linking to them, heartless bastards.
I was surprised by some of those who dropped me as they are people I like but what can you do ? I'll try not to take it personal, people go off you or some how you inadvertently offend them, probably liberal, ghey, Catholic, Arab lovers with pedophilic leanings anyway yes you know who you are.

If you feel I have removed you by mistake or would like a link or even removed e-mail me. People just popping up out of the blue will not be believed as I have the smell of spammers in the air yet again. For fucks sake does the NHS not medicate ?

Ah well I feel better that I have lightened my load I've decided to be a cult icon as I'm doing ok at this lark with my minimum of effort, then again just think if I put all my posts from all my blogs into one blog the yapping I'd get from people calling me prolific and telling me to slow doon and the like. Its no my fault my brain works at the double.

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Now I'm Really Tired

I was walking doon the High street in my beloved Killamory when a black van pulled up along side me. The driver looked over and smiled and asked if I could help him find his puppy, I told him to fuck his puppy and that I had to get home to write a great blog post to keep my readers happy. He then said that he'd give me a lift and that my mother said it was ok, I wasn't sure but then he mentioned he had a bag of raspberry ruffles to share so I got in.

The van smelled like cheap perfume and stale cum, I didn't say anything cos I thought it might have been me. I looked for the bag of sweets and noticed 4 other men all wearing black dresses in the back of the van, I reached for the knife I carry doon my sock but before I could get to it a rope was pulled around my neck and a hood forced over my head, I felt as if I was being pulled from my seat into the back of the van. The rope was getting tighter and as I struggled the men all started to punch me and I became unconscious.

I woke up with a familiar smell in my nostrils a mix between shit and sulphur. Fear, terror, being a scared and sexual arousal hit me all at once like the outside air after drinking in a pub all night. I was in leeds.

I hadn't been abducted by violent cross dressers it was far worse, it was Catholic priests. Those belonging to the Diocese of Leeds neo-Nazi Blogger suppressing cult. I had run into these cunts before with their legal attack dogs now they really wanted to shut me up.

My captors grabbed me and tied me to a cross and started to play Beatles songs as they began to fellatio me, no that's not right I hoped they would but they flagellated me instead which isn't the same.
I screamed "No more fucking overrated poppy hippy music" they hit me harder which was good as it took my mind of the tunes.

Suddenly every thing stopped. I could see out of the bottom of my hood another figure had joined us. I recognised his voice immediately it was my old Nemesis Bishop Cockroache. " See what we do to bad boys who sin Knudsen?" his voice was like a sticky shite that refused to be wiped clean. " You will tell me what your Blogger passwords so we can alter your blogs or you shall suffer."

You know me, I laugh in the face of danger so I said, "Away and fuck ya Fenian Cocksucker is it not about time for the schools to get out?" Cockroache must have gestured cos the air was suddenly filled with Lucy in the sky with diamonds, I screamed like a pretty boy in prison. "Ok ok its 'pissflaps' I use that on all of my blogs cos I can't remember anything."

I also gave them my bank pin number and all the secrets about my fellow bloggers that have been stupid enough to trust me , they didn't ask for that stuff but its good to talk.

Cockroache chuckled, yet again he thought he had me beat but you should never underestimate the Knudsen. He said "Kill him" and turned around and walked off.

The hench priests started to beat me with their fists and bamboo canes, in between hits I mentioned what a waste it was to kill a fella with such a fine looking arse without taking him up the bum first.
They hesitated, one of them in an English accent said, "I only rape young boys hes not my type, " and an Irish accent then said, " Father Tommy you're just so gay sometimes, it is a fine arse though a sin to let it go to waste ," the other priests agreed and they started to untie me.

That was it, feigning weakness I slumped and removed my artificial leg, I was still hooded but I had once did a 3 day Ninja course with the CIA so I could fight in the dark and these cunts were in my killing zone. My leg shoot out with the fury of a PMSing woman without chocolate, I only wish I could see their faces as they died.

I stood there wobbling, the adrenaline coursing in my body and I removed my hood, I was in some kind of tent. I put on my leg and ran out. I saw Cockroache and he saw me, he jumped upon a powerful motor bike and took off at speed, luckily there was another one so I straddled that one, its cold seat shriveling my bollocks.

After a boring motorcycle chase with improbable stunts and the firing of lots of automatic weapons the Bishop escaped in an awaiting helicopter as I stood on the ground shaking my fist at him vowing revenge an armed police team surrounded me with their weapons drawn as a naked man shaking his fist at a helicopter could very well be connected to Al Qaeda.

I showed them my security clearance that was tattooed on the inside of my lip only to be told it was out of date due to lack of payments and I was taken into custody.

Well my dear friends that's my story, I talked the peelers into letting me change my passwords and got bailed out by agent Sax, a beautiful leggy blonde from the CIA , he has never let me doon yet.

Someday Cockroache we shall meet again...............

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"I had some roast beef last night, it tasted like cancer."

The title is taken from the dream I had last night in which I saw Bush on the telly saying that.

The Interweb is a strange place full of nutjobs and people far more paranoid than I. Ever since I started about a year and a half ago I've gone from being the next big new shiny thing to just being constantly mentioned and talked about, my 15 minutes of fame are up now I'm just infamous.

Not safe for work or adult content, what the fuck does that mean? you should be working at work, no wonder Al Qaeda are winning and as for adult content as I've been described as having does that mean the rest of the blogs are less mature and childish? maybe I should put the warning beside names in my blogroll.(Barney Blogs) What is adult content? sex? children? sex with children? alcohol ?marriage and going to work? oh the shame.

I can't link to you because my mummy or granny reads my blog, well guess what yer mammy or granny have no doubt sucked cock with the best of them in their time and maybe still do.

I was just looking through my site meter which I haven't done in ages and a referring URL was from a Blog called SCRIPTOIDS so I followed it back. It was by a person who has a another blog that featured other Blogs and I was featured twice last year in April and their last post in October.

I've returned a couple of times to that blog to see no action going on but it seems they were posting on SCRIPTOIDS which never mentioned me until now.

The post was called '(Happy?) Blogroll Amnesty Day.' (B.A.D.) At the weekend the Blogger Grace Nearing participated in BAD from another Blog which involved dropping a Blog from yer Blogroll, my Blog had the honour of getting dropped. I read the original idea of this Amnesty Day and its all to do with not feeling bad about dumping someone.

Grace Nearing shouldn't feel bad as well the only reason I knew about her Blog was by luck, its not as if she commented on me or anything or we shared intercourse via e-mail but it seems she has issues about being a small Blog.

Blogroll Amnesty Day is about small or new Bloggers upset about not being able to get onto the Blogrolls of big or established Bloggers.
They feel discriminated against I suppose that the big Bloggers don't want to link to every new blog they don't know who never comment, or don't do the networking thing and will only post once a month and last 2 months because they can't think of anything to say or delete in a fit of depression. Those bigger well established blogs are right cunts, its all about the millions of new blogs out there.

I've linked to people who e-mail me and suggest it or start commenting and I like their Blogs or them, not because I owe it to small blogs to give them a chance, maybe they should be more interesting.
Hey I'm the best Blogger in the world and only now have I started to get links up on Irish Blogs, maybe they don't like being called Bogtrotters or I'm not Irish enough or maybe they just don't like me, it could happen sometimes people just read me to tell me they don't like me.

I'm not going to worry about why so and so is on someone's Blogroll and I'm not, I could delete all the links that haven't linked back to me but sometimes I like to go over and see what they are up to.
I've got so many links and not enough time to visit being a 'Big Blogger' and all.

I didn't know about the small Blog sense of inadequacy or entitlement. When I started I commented and made myself a nuisance until I got noticed and people saw I wasn't a fly by night Blog but a brilliantly humourous Blogger of immense genius but I don't like to brag, now only fear and professional jealously stops others from linking to me and I can handle that because I was spammed for 2 months last year and only the greats get spammed like that, mediocre Blogs get ignored.

I'm sorry to all those that feel left out because I never linked to you, I'm sure I just didn't notice you unless I was ignoring you on purpose so now that's you well paranoid.

Within 10 minutes of finding out about this whole sub-culture of issues that goes on beyond the SCRIPTOIDS Blog to the other blogs and whoever the sad cunt that started was I found a comment on craigslist from someone who has commented at least twice on me but doesn't link telling people how hilarious I am and that they bet I'm really a bored hoosewife.

It shows you about the effect and range this Interweb thing has and that someone thousands of miles away could either be praising you or throwing darts at yer picture and you'd never know it.

Like I have always said someday I'll quit this Blogging lark never knowing that some Pacific island has set me up as their God and I've got 50 million people silently reading me on Bloglines.




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I'd Like To Thank The Small People

Being a blogger is an honour no a privilege. I write my stories and an average of 161 people a day cum round to read them. Maybe you clicked next blog maybe you were looking for 'midget swallowing horse cum' or maybe you used to read me got bored and came round to check me out before you deleted my link , whatever the reason I thank you.

If 'YOU' didn't read me then what is the point to blogging? its not like I do this for me now is it?

It makes me feel special when visitors comment, spam or send me legal letters because you went to all that trouble just for me and my craft.

The other day I was about to quit blogging for good, my current gurlfriend had just ended our 3 hour relationship via the bathroom window I thought I had nailed shut and I just found out that my dog has a venereal disease, one of the nasty ones, trust me I've just got rid of mine.

I was sitting here all alone when I got a comment from a new person, it went:

" LOL , love your blog its soooo funny it made coke come out of my nose, BTW are you really an old man?"

It was from an American which is odd as I thought they were all on crack, coke is so 1980's and as for the old man question I get used to that, fucking rude cunts, a man of mature qualities if you don't mind.


Old Knudsen in happier days last week when his niece and her friend came to visit, lovely gurls.

I looked at their profile and they had just started their blog recently and then I looked at their blog and all the mistakes common to a rookie and not something I'd wipe me arse with, the only good blog is a Knudsen blog which is why you either want to do me or want to blog like me ya filthy dirty shites.

I saw in that shitty wee blog with its post about bagels hope and promise only to be found in a child's eye and I should know cos I have a bag full of them.
I read the post cursing Americans and their ways, as bad as the Chinese . Imagine shops that cook and serve bagels I mean those are cute doggies why don't people eat pugs?


So anyway I remembered the first joy I had when I started to blog then I went over to MJ's and tugged the lad over Manuel's arse picture.

When I see people in the street I can tell if they are bloggers or not, the miserable old fat woman holding up the line at the post office obviously has a lot to say and is without a doubt a blogger, the happy young couple don't blog as they are too busy fucking each other's brains out, give them 10 years a few babies and middle age spread and they'll be blogging.

This lass isn't a blogger..

With the exception of at least 19 people my blogging experiences have been great and I am constantly amazed and laugh my arse off at other blogs, of course they are all my other blogs.
Just to let you all know my news blog has made it to the longlist for the best pop culture blog on the Irish Blog awards even though I did briefly serve with Oliver Cromwell the scourge of the Irish.

Hey bygones and all of that stuff, I won't win anything (its all politics) but hey its the taking part that counts but if I start to post about leprechauns, Guinness , potatoes and ugly people then you know I'm just trying to impress the judges so top 'o' the mornin to ya .


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Put A Log On The Fire

I have been indulging in schadenfreude this year, thats the art of enjoying the mis-fortune of others especially at this time of year. I hope you all have a normal enjoyable Christmas and stop sending me shite like the picture above .

Thankyou to one of my fellow bloggers for this present. I shall not name you unless pressed to by bribes etc.

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If We Could Really See The Bloggers

The plumber marveled at my firm white breasts pushing against my blouse. "maybe you'd like me to check out yer plumbing" he said as he pressed his rock hard body against my well toned form. " My husband is due back from work soon" I said breathlessly as he nuzzled my neck, I knew it was wrong but it felt so good. He put his hand doon my feminine lace panties his finger reaching in deep making me twitch, "yer nice and wet he said with a smug smile, now bend over the washer while I tighten yer drum." I didn't argue his solid 8 inch truncheon of joy was my master. "you must be the hottest customer I've ever had" he said as he penetrated me deeply making me climax 12 times in a row.

So I was going doon Killamory main street and some dopey fucker rear ended me. I was so fucking mad as I wasn't even in a cunting car, I was walking. "Get away from me" I shouted " ya dirty Slavic cunt, go hump a dog." Anyway did I ever tell ya how I won an eagle off the French at Waterloo ? The train station not the battle. I was playing cards with some frogs while waiting for a train and they put a "Normandy comb over eagle" in the pot, not literally as eagles don't taste that good.

As well as "Well Done Fillet" I have just created 7 other blogs, subscribe to them now or Knudsen will win. A man came into the restaurant last night and said, "Do you serve Lobster?" I replied, "Sir I serve anyone as long as they tip well" he then enquired, "do you have frogs legs?" You all know about the complex I have with my legs, I prefer the term "bandy" than having them called frogs legs.