If you see the Old Knudsen RV show me yer tits for a free t-shirt. Tits must be shown for a long enough period for Old Knudsen to have a happy ending.
Being a high profile blogger who is usually high on some form of pain medication I am well aware that everyone is out to get me.
No I'm not some paranoid freak when you have all this going on weemen want to do you and men want to be you and men also want to do you and weemen also want to change you and use oral sex as a motivational tool but that's another story.
I guess I would feel unloved if I wasn't constantly being stalked so I keep an eye on my surrounding at all times.
I went into an up-scale restaurant called 'Farmer Boys' yesterday for the first time. When I say up-scale I don't mean those ghey ones with waiters and table clothes, no offense to that silly cunt Manuel but really get a real job like digging ditches or something.
They give you a number to set on yer table and a woman does bring you yer food but they don't hang around like a bad smell for protection money known as a tip.
I ordered fish and chips, I asked what kind of fish it was and the cashier was surprised to hear that there was different types of fish.
Remember back in the day we'd call it Cod and chips or whatever it was but now its just 'fish' so I ordered it anyway cos what was I going to eat a burger with avo fucking cado on it or zuc fucking chini whatever that is?
When I'm out and about I do get a lot of 'fuck me' eyes from people but there was this one woman who was really making me feel uncomfortable enough to make me take my cap off and hide it in my coat.
I don't like to be watched when I eat and this lass was taking notes.
I couldn't eat half of my chips no it wasn't the gurl watching me it was because they didn't fucking peel them fucking lazy Americans get a Mexican in and pay them $1.00 an hour to peel yer fucking taters if I wanted my chips to taste like dirt I'd have ordered a fucking side of mud.
I also sent back my iced tea and told them to boil it and put some milk and sugar in it oh and it had a slice of lemon floating in it make sure nothing else falls into it.
I got the idiot looks I got at that sushi place when I complained about my fish being raw are they trying to give me semolina poisoning?
So anyway I left the restaurant noticing that the lass went over to my seat and started to sniff the place where I sat and was fighting the staff for my left overs and used cutlery. The mystery was soon solved when I went out into the car park and saw this.
Not a word of a lie I took this picture with my own wee camera. Its her.
Bloggers aren't the same as they describe themselves it seems, except for me what you see or read is what you get if yer lucky.
I learned my lesson when I went up north and visited First Nations and MJ boy did my preconceived ideas based on the pictures they sent me sure take a beating.
Not only are they not young female and hot but they don't wash.
Speaking of taking a beating. Ok its nearly the 4th July and woop de doo you beat the British by all means celebrate its not like you win many wars, two as far as I can tell and one of those was only because the French helped you. French loving losers.
Its a fucking week away stop it with the fire crackers, those of us that have served during war time are sick to death of diving to the floor every 5 minutes having flashbacks to Waterloo or Normandy all that crying ruins my mascara and makes my face all puffy so quit it you cunts.
The only blogger I want to meet is Mago here, maybe someday.
10 comments:
I take umbrage to that remark about me not washing.
Why just this morning I hosed myself down with the power washer.
Just the bits that needed it.
The fireworks are a right pain in the arse around here too. Most of the fuckers setting them off don't even know what July 4th is about. Personally I go to work on July 4th and sit outside with a Union Jack on a stick, armed with a cricket bat to fend off minutemen. I then call in sick for the next three days in protest.
*thinks*
mago and OBB at the same time .. woohoo!
What is Mago trying to hide?
Speaking of hiding, where has Ms. Nations hidden the soap?
MJ umbrage ? who did you get to help you write this comment? using little used words like that indeed, get some bleach into those parts too.
Mr Waring you need a cricket bat for all the zombies. Nothing happened on the 4th July they picked that date out of their holes, lets celebrate our nation with illegal fireworks. yanks are very loud.
bittersweet you as long as we don't talk about the war.
Crap, I've been outed. I KNEW that license plate would get me in trouble.
Now back outside to set off yet another roman candle.
I'm just warming up.
In Amerga they do not peel the potatoes? Shame. Uncivilized. That comes from shipping Europe's "black sheep" over the pond.
Does the Boxer suffer from some kind of tumor or is it just a late consequence of getting hit in the face?
Nice photograph of me by the way.
MJ
The most beautiful pair of cojones you can imagine.
In earlier times there was a kind of unit of measure called "Kanad" or "Canad": What one Canadian lumberjack can grab comfortably with his working hand. Brandine's for example are each at least two Canad.
The Mago marbles are surely all together one Canad.
Mago: Brandine has cojones?
You must have got up close and personal.
a boxer don't forget to celebrate Nam and Korea.
Mago Is that a version of the Roman testimonial?
MJ who hasn't?
Post a Comment