Today I would like you to bond with Old Knudsen, put a smile on yer face and cheerfully proclaim "When I wipe theres blood" to someone.
I have anal fissures , I have anal fishers. Have I gone mad? What year is it? 2008? you fools you killed us all its a madhoose!Maybe its just me but I can't imagine movie stars like Marilyn Munroe or Cary Grant having a hot steamy dump or even just farting but I suppose they do/did.
I bet Steven Seagull after a bucket of chicken can rip off a few he would be proud of but he lacks mystery and substance and isn't really a star.
Farts are funny except when one of my co-workers at a job I had years ago would drop one.
Farts are funny except when one of my co-workers at a job I had years ago would drop one.
He was a big lad with plenty of protein in his diet, what he would do was stand in the door-way of the tiny office we would be in and let off a silent but deadly canary killer of a fart that would give you symptoms similar to what I'd imagine Ebola victims suffer and with him in the door-way climbing out the window in a desperate escape for air and perhaps falling 20 feet and breaking yer neck was a viable option.
He'd also walk up to you and talk until the stench hit you. He was quite popular with the ladies though I suspect he used his death stench as a date rape gas.
He'd also walk up to you and talk until the stench hit you. He was quite popular with the ladies though I suspect he used his death stench as a date rape gas.
Kathy Lloyd a favourite page 3 model from the Sun, here with her evil twin.I was looking at the fine British news tabloid 'The Sun' and saw a story about a pretty young lass whose sex life was ruined because she had IBS and farted a lot.
What kind of man would be put off by that? She must date men who are on the cusp of turning ghey.What man doesn't let off a string of cheek sneaks while pumping away? its a part of our charm for fucks sake.
I do salute the young lady Lindsay Best for talking about farting and sex as its a nice change from crackhoor singers failing rehab.
In my prime I was a magnificent gas bag, I'd fart on command and when I least expected it but always had the good grace to laugh at the discomfort of others.
An elevator or lift as the Americans call it is a fine place to conduct stinky business, a captive audience.
While we're on the subject of idiot Americans who don't speak proper they call an arse an ass which is a donkey or they call it a fanny when we all know that a fanny is a cunt or a vadge, no wonder the yanks are so sexually frustrated I put it doon to having their foreskins lobed off as babies but its because they don't know where to stick their willys and the weemen don't know what proper intact man tackle should look like, thank fuck for all those illegal aliens for they are America's future.
Its funny how you go into a restroom not for a rest but for a pish and while yer standing at the urinal you always let off a big fart as someone walks by, sometimes I believe those cartoons where tiny wee men are in my head controlling my body because if I was one of them I would certainly fart around for a laugh.
A bum and therefore relevant to this post. Yanks would call a tramp or wino a bum which confuses the whole anal sex issue.I have no idea where this post is going but stay with me like a sticky shite that refuses to be wiped away just before you have to go out.
People go on about dogs and how they can sense an earthquake before it happens or can smell cancer in a person's body, I've never looked at a dog happily munching away on cat shite and thought 'ah there is much we can learn from such a noble beast.'
8 comments:
Why has the use of the bidet not caught on in America?
A Yank would probably try to piss in it.
What a lot of gas;-) ;-) :-)
i can always rely on you to light up my monday morning
I only get cranky with my gasy dogs when they try to "dutch oven" me.
I agree 100% here. I would also like to add that there is nothing more amusing than letting go a right ripsnorter whilst getting a blow job. A true test of your lady's love for you.
People go on about dogs and how they can sense an earthquake
Do the Chinese know this?
No MJ, we Yanks think the bidet is a fancy drinking fountain. At least that's what all the bad movies tell us.
Ladies don't fart. We "pass gas" "toot" or "fluff." If we suspect the gas we need to release will have an odor, we politely excuse ourselves to another, unoccupied, room to release it. If that isn't possible, we just hold it in until we explode.
My husband claims that he believed that women did not pass gas until he met me when he was in his early 30s. Apparently he never, ever was exposed to his mother or sister passing gas. I must learn their secret!
And women definitely don't shart - that's the exclusive provenance of menfolk!
i see your points...all of them, but fail to see how it ties the room together.
not that it needs to to entertain me. i'm not picky.
Post a Comment