Slippery When Wet

Ol Knudsen and Mananan in gay and happy times.

It all started way back in the mists of time, just before lunch I do believe. Olaf Knudsen the son of Lord Harold of Maud (which is in Denmark) and lady Agnes of Arbroath was on his way back after having discovered a great land mass to the west that he named Humpadingle which is an old Viking word for 'great land mass' or in some translations 'fuck I'm so very lost' this land was later to be named America after Christopher Columbus the famous detective.

Olaf or Ol Knudsen rowed his longboat (which was very long.........and thick) back across the Atlantic , his crew had long since died and gone into his belly which gave him the strength to single handedly row row row his boat.

A mighty storm pushed his boat onto some sharp and jagged rocks and Ol Knudsen was drown but the sea God Mananan pulled him out of the water and aboard his boat the Ocean sweeper breathing life into his body again.

Ol Knudsen had met many a god and demi god but liked the cut of Mananan's jib.

The two spent years adventuring trying to get all the magicial items in the world before Jason and his astronauts did (Chariots of the Gods?..... Erich Von Daniken) soon they had acquired many powerful objects and Ol Knudsen with his ring of elastic, his pork sword of a thousand rashers and his cap of time travel was lying on the deck with Mananan under a fleece that protected the wearer from STDs when Mananan asked an important question, " Does this g-string of lustfulness make my bum look fat?"

Ol Knudsen was tired after a long and painful keel haul that had blood in it and paused for a brief second then said, "no yer arse makes yer arse look big."

The couple fought (not really a couple its an expression) then parted ways, Mananan got to keep the puppy of no poops and the boat.

Ol Knudsen found himself on the east coast of Ulster (Northern Ireland to you Yanks) where he met and fell in love with a beautiful (a matter of perspective) bare knuckle fighter named Gertrude.

It was a volatile relationship with violent knock doon fights but Ol Knudsen could take a good punch.

One day Ol Knudsen realised he was out of time, as a parting piece of revenge Mananan had sent him back into the past using Ol Knudsen's cap.

Angered Ol Knudsen packed up his family (with Gertrude heavily pregnant) into their Ford Coracle and paddled off to the Isle of Man to confront the cheeky sea god.

Mananan who didn't like confrontations sent a storm to drown them in a passive aggressive move but softened when Gertrude's water broke and he went to their aid and helped deliver the baby soon all was forgiven, they even had a good laugh when Mananan told them that Harold and Agnes were only sort of his real parents and that the baby was Ol Knudsen and that he was his own father and so he was a mother fucker.

Ol Knudsen likes a good joke and so all was well besides all that time travel stuff really bends his shite and who can work out what a pairofdocks is? chicken and the egg bollocks that hurts yer brain.

A mermaid, this is sushi I wouldn't turn me nose up at. They have an excuse for their parts smelling like rotten fish whats yer excuse weemen?

Mananan sent his merfolk to tow the coracle to land which turned out to be beautiful Scotland and Ol Knudsen settled doon with his family, he never really warmed to his son which was him because they were too much alike but did pass on the cap along with a piece of his wisdom, " Curry flavours the bald."

Yes I am Ol or Old Knudsen and I live my life by that saying. Mananan keeps in touch at Christmas time and birthdays but obsolete pagan gods really have it rough with all these violent gods of love about.

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