When I came to Americky I didn't quit my job as a life coach for the Ohhmm well being clinic I was promoted to the job of 'Life consultant' spreading my wisdom and knowledge to the uninformed savages known as Americans.
My position is that of a Missionary I suppose giving it to the Yanks whether they want it or not but they sure do need it.
Me and my mucker Buddy have purchased and motorised home with his disability pension and a few bars of my Nazi gold.
I've always wanted to be like a hero on TV who travels from town to town solving crimes and shagging weemen with his pet monkey sidekick flinging poo in the name of justice for the under dog and so I decide to buy a motorhome to do so.
Buddy to be honest isn't all there, too much LCD in Nam and he has flashbacks to training the Taliban in Afghanistan to fight the Russians, a lot of opium going around it seems.
Me and my mucker Buddy have purchased and motorised home with his disability pension and a few bars of my Nazi gold.
I've always wanted to be like a hero on TV who travels from town to town solving crimes and shagging weemen with his pet monkey sidekick flinging poo in the name of justice for the under dog and so I decide to buy a motorhome to do so.
Buddy to be honest isn't all there, too much LCD in Nam and he has flashbacks to training the Taliban in Afghanistan to fight the Russians, a lot of opium going around it seems.
Back then he was known as a drugged out socially inept moron who was good at manipulating others to get what he wanted.
Then all the buzz word excuses for being thick came out and he was retired from the 'company' for being Bi-Polar with Aspergers and ADHD, they even said he was autistic which is a load of shite as the only thing he can draw is his pension.
My chum Buddy may not be the tastiest dog at the pound but once you get past all the paranoid accusations and make sure he takes his meds hes a decent enough fella.
He surprised me by getting a graphic put on the front of the RV the only thing is that hes a perfect example of the American education system, no offense to you idiot Yanks but when someone thinks that the Gettysburg address was where Lincoln lived and that the underground railway that smuggled slaves to the north actually had trains well he make me look intelligent, that's why I like Americky, I'm a hawk among crows.
I have to figure out how to change the graphic without hurting his feelings maybe I'll go for the "you mong approach" how can I get any action from vulnerable weemen with that on the front?
My chum Buddy may not be the tastiest dog at the pound but once you get past all the paranoid accusations and make sure he takes his meds hes a decent enough fella.
He surprised me by getting a graphic put on the front of the RV the only thing is that hes a perfect example of the American education system, no offense to you idiot Yanks but when someone thinks that the Gettysburg address was where Lincoln lived and that the underground railway that smuggled slaves to the north actually had trains well he make me look intelligent, that's why I like Americky, I'm a hawk among crows.
I have to figure out how to change the graphic without hurting his feelings maybe I'll go for the "you mong approach" how can I get any action from vulnerable weemen with that on the front?
I may have to rethink the bumper sticker I have in mind, as my bed would be over the cab I was going to have a sticker that says " if the roof is a thumping Old Knudsen is a humping" classy huh?
5 comments:
Motorised?
You're going to have to change that "s" to a "z" if you want to join the melting pot.
I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT.
You Altzheimeric rapscallion. you pulled the scallion out of your rapper and stubbed up to the scat, homes.
Westside.
Represent.
I don't know, Scott Peterson gets love letters in prison while serving time for killing his wife... so you may get lucky with that sign. Or not.
I thought Lincoln was buried in Grant's Tomb.
You are a motörhead? Greetings to Lammy, had no sleep 'til Hammersmith too.
C'mon boss, don't sugar coat it, just tell it like it is ...
"If the van is a rockin
old Knudzen haz hiz cock in."
Now thats classy. And socially acceptable too!
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