Prince Charles Joins Al Qaeda

Prince Charles and his royal fuck buddy Camilla have joined the Islamic terrorist group Al Qaeda. Tired of waiting for his mother to die he sees this as a sure way to gain power and to embrace the traditional values of Jihad as set out by Osama Bin Laden which are 1) Death and destruction to the great Satan 2) Islamic states for everyone 3) Then we kill the Batman 4) Only natural fibers be worn.

Al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri met with the Prince in Qatar and it is thought that he will take a step doon and make Charles the number one as al-Zawahiri was never leadership material while Charles was born to the role. 

Charles recently made waves when he compared Valdimir Putin to Hitler and suggested that NHS doctors used herbal oils like lavender in their treatment for cancer instead of the expensive placebos  they use now. 

I'll fuck you up infidel 

Recently a memo from ISIS in Iraq said that all weemen in Mosul will be subject to Female Genital Mutilation. It is thought to be a fake memo however this is done in many Islamic states. When asked if Camilla will undergo FGM Charles answered, " Her genitals look like they have been mutilated all ready, they were like that when I got there ..... aaaaaa like slices of roast beef, my Willy Wonka certainly doesn't mind her droopy drippy laffy taffy though."    

It is unsure whether or not Charles will be still be allowed to be King should the Queen die or Abdicate, many would be happy if  Charles was passed over and William be made King. Kate has far better norks than Camilla any way.  

 

At Last! The Royal Baby

The royal baby has finally arrived. At 7lbs 3oz  it was disappointingly a gurl. Not to worry, little Clint will go through a procedure known as gender reassignment, this is not the first time for the royal family as her great uncle Prince Edward was also born a female.

Clint , Edward , Trayvon, Colin,  Mandela Windsor has unexpectedly said her/his first words, "Burn in hell you hoor" while her/his head spun around. Old Knudsen's head didn't start spinning around until he was 8 months old so we have a child prodigy here.

Mother is said to be doing well, the baby clawed her/his own way out and so an episiotomy was not necessary. Gog bless beautiful but dim Kate and all who have sailed up her.



 

Kate Middleton's Baby

Another exclusive picture of the new royal baby. No, this is not just an attempt to mess with search engines as a desperate cry for attention .... it's because I care.  Now stop Googling stupid shit and go read the news. 

First Picture Of Kate's Baby

The first picture of Kate Middleton's baby boy Nelson Bradley Barlow Mohamed Windsor, he certainly has the Windsor ears.

Mother and child are doing well . Kate can't wait to hand the wee fucker over to her team of nannies so she can go on hols and get her saggy baps out ..... bless.  

Kate Middleton Gives Birth And Then Gets Her Tits Out

We are a simple people and do not expect too much from the future Queen of England. The royal baby boy will be named Nelson Mandela Harley Yoda Windsor.  Her Kate-ness will be given a 2 week rest period and then William will be back on top to make some more.

I would however request that she get a boob job to avoid anymore future disappointment as Old Knudsen is still being treated for depression thanks to her saggy norks.

It's A Boy!

The hopes of a nation weighed doon on the shoulders of Kate Middleton with the collective voice of 'don't fuck it up' and she delivered like a pro.

A bouncing 7lbs 4oz baby boy. The couple have already picked out a suitable name for the wee royal fucker.
As they have both recently converted to Islam the child shall be named Mohamed, his full name shall be Mohamed Satsuma Bonfire Charlton Edward Soren Windsor. He shall not be circumcised as that is a barbaric practice done by uneducated sheeple but he will remain in hospital to have a birthmark in the shape of 3 sixes removed.