The Royal Birth Was Faked

Will and kate leaving the hospital on Saturday.

Yes the rumours are real, Kate Middleton did not give birth 12 hours before leaving the hospital. The baby in the shawl was a fake and the real princess Britney April Charlotte is at Kensington palace with a wet nurse. She actually gave birth at the end of last month, she chose a natural birth on the stone of scone surrounded by members of the Blood coven whose high priest can trace his linage all the way back to Jesus, he blessed the child with jackal blood then branded her with the mark of Satan, the secret natural birth is the way the royal family have done it for centuries. 

Clint Eastwood also assumed we were idiots too, in fact it looks like the same baby. Known as crisis babies which are used to fool the public.   

The facts: 

1) Kate looked too good.

2) She did not limp after pushing out an 8LBS 3 oz sprog. 

3) The babies' royal wave looked fake and mechanized.

4) The baby bounced twice when she dropped it, real babies only bounce once.

The reasons for deception: 

The Conservatives will probably win the election this week, to implement yet more austerity cuts they have used the royal birth as leverage. If Kate can get back to work after 12 hours of giving birth then what is your excuse? 

The Conservatives make these cuts not because they work (they don't) but for sexual arousal. You can see maternity leave being reduced to 12 hours and why don't you look that good too? 

Prince Charles played polo during the birth of his sons and during some funerals too, do men really need leave or are they just being wusses? 

After the Conservatives win the election and David Cameron laughs at how you fell for all his promises he'll launch a campaign telling weemen to make more of an effort with their appearance as if promotes good health and vigor as demonstrated by perfect English rose Kate Middleton. 

William and Kate were unable to comment as they were on a hiking excursion in the highlands of Scotland. 

A spokesperson for Downing street said, "W e should all .... especially women, follow the great example set out by William and Kate, I'm following William's example of only working 47 days in a year so I'm of on my hols next week, laters."