The English Don't Understand Patriotism

Beryl McNichol a 71 bitter balls has said "it was as if she were living in a communist country" after the Mansfield (England) District Council told her to take doon her proud patriotic flags from her 18ft flagpole she erected on her allotment plot.

An allotment plot is a little communist too, local people who don't have a garden are allocated a plot to grow veggies or flowers on .... no flag poles, rocket launch pads, no meth labs, no cannybis just good old legal marigolds and turnips etc. 

To keep the wogs and other foreigners in their place she also flew a Ukip flag coming up to the elections. Despite being told to remove the flags as they were not a part of the allotment agreement sneaky Beryl flew a 'Lest We Forget' flag on VE day .... she's old, some people tie knots to remember and others fly flags. It's a little like praying in public to one upmanship all the half arsed cunts who aren't as holy or as patriotic as you. Shit that isn't worth doing unless the world sees you doing it.

Like:

I voted, I went to the gym, I helped lil Jill with her homewerk, I went to somewhere swanky, I grew a turnip. 

Ach white people are so insecure, with the public displays, thank fuck for blogs, Twitter and Facebook.  

Beryl proudly served her cuntry, what have you done ? ... well when I say served she was a school dinner lady for 3 years but that still counts, she's seen shit.

She says the flags give you a moment of reflection and how with the Nepalese earthquakes she'd fly it at half mast as that beats actually donating to a charity there. Old Knudsen has said several prayers for the people of Tibet, no don't thank me, it was the least I could do.

No offense Nepal but you don't rate a half mast flag, maybe if Sean Connery died or something, he is as foreign as the Ukipers can stand.

Stoopid English, they know fuck all about how to be proper British.

What you do is not worry about no ghey flag pole, you get yon fleg up on a lamp post or some post with phone lines or power cables then you let it rot because being patriotic isn't about respect, it's about showing others yer better than them and this is yer cuntry.

Dogs pee on things real British patriots put flegs on things an burn shit. 

In Northern Ireland we love our flegs and know all about British culture. Beryl did get the soldier thing right though, we British only like dead soldiers to mourn over, living ones ... not so much as they might not agree with us.

Nothing stirs yer patriotism more than a UVF parade. In the early 20th century the original UVF (bigots not terrorists) were so loyal to the crown that they were going to make loads of dead British soldiers to mourn over if they didn't get their way. The UVF were then sent to fight in WWI that just happened by coincidence to be a slaughter known as the Somme .... I'm sure the English generals didn't mean to get rid of all the Ulster trouble makers who were not very good soldiers by all accounts.

Since then the UVF stick to wearing masks and killing civilians as the military is way too dangerous. Every time someone on the telly suggests bringing back national service in the military a Loyalist shits themselves. 
The tradition of wearing of the fleg in yer under cackers is something stoopid Sassenachs like Beryl wouldn't understand. The underwear isn't padded, they keep a wee bottle of ecstasy pills to sell on route ... it's tradition! 

We cannae speak English very well and the English hate us more than they hate the Welsh and the Scots but we're better at being British than they'll ever be. NO SURRENDER!!!! .... except when it's cold out or when I have a bad back.