Florida Is Hell

 

Notice the fleg, what is it with Americans and their flegs? ... crazy huh.

Hasn't Old Knudsen been telling you for years that Florida sits over a Hellmouth? Why do you think you get face eating zombies there? Why do you think people from the UK go there for a holiday? ... evil attracts evil.

Poor 36 year-old Jeff Bush was lying on his bed maybe tugging the lad while thinking about ...

Hoor of Satan Miley Cyrus who is now legal, tough that didn't stop Jeff before * this is pure speculation on behalf of Old Knudsen as Jeff probably never had an impure thought ever*

So lying in bed and then a big sinkhole opens up in yer bedroom and swallows you up .... what fucking bad luck old Jeff has. Hes avoided getting his face ate off for years and now Hell takes him while hes in his wanking chariot.

His brother rushed in and tried to save him but was unable to. Brother Jeremy got stuck and it took a sheriff’s deputy to pull him out.

Remember folks, if you move into a house and you have one of these ^ on the floor, don't just carpet over it. You've got yerself a Hellmouth seal and you'll probably get sucked doon into a Hell dimension like poor Jeff.