Eostre

 

The Goddess of spring Eostre (or Ostara) comforts poor wee Jesus who according to myth was tortured to death. "My poor boy why did they do this to you? Why didn't you just vanish? It sounds like your father may of had something to do with this, you were set up honey child. Spring or in my name 'Easter' is about the rebirth of nature not the slaughter of demi-gods. Its about fertility (rabbits) and about birth (eggs) it's about the land coming back to life and the animals breeding. Lets give thanks for this with a celebration around the spring Equinox."   

Only the fucking Christians would make it about betrayal, torture and death. There is a resurrection at the end and a promise to return that was never fulfilled .... or if it was we probably killed him/her again.
Eat yer chocolate egg and celebrate the true meaning of Easter ... in her name.