Last week I met this lovely Gurl named Nancy at the health centre. I was in because my right elbow was making a squeaking sound which was very off putting when I'm tugging the lad and is a dead give away when I'm doing it all sneaky like in public, she wouldn't go into detail as to the reason she was there, I asked if it was "woman's trouble" and she said it was, that's all I needed to know, a woman can talk for hours about the state of her stench trench.
I should have made more of an inquiry when I heard she was from Arbroath. Two things cum from Arbroath. Smoked kippers, Arbroath FC and hoors, hold on make that three things. Nancy wasn't hideous and did actually smell a little like smoked kippers which I found to be quite arousing but whats more important is that she laughed at my jokes and had a willingness to get naked.
Being a gentleman I wasn't going to jump the gurl on the first meeting no matter how much she begged me to (I get that a lot) so we went for a delightful walk in the park and we had a dry hump against an Beech tree.
Am I the only one that gets turned on by the sight of a smooth pale Beech tree stretching into the sky like a naked body?
Heres where I get all technical and computery, a week later and I haven't called Nancy up because I'm trying to keep her keen, besides is that a 3 or a 5 in her number? I then notice I have warts all over my hard drive and my laptops I think I might have VDU but who the fuck uses a MAC for a dry hump? I'm not pissing razor blades I'm pissing electric shavers cords, plugs and all .
Well I'm off to the city for a shot of Pentium® 4 so don't wait up. I am just going outside and may be some time.
I should have made more of an inquiry when I heard she was from Arbroath. Two things cum from Arbroath. Smoked kippers, Arbroath FC and hoors, hold on make that three things. Nancy wasn't hideous and did actually smell a little like smoked kippers which I found to be quite arousing but whats more important is that she laughed at my jokes and had a willingness to get naked.
Being a gentleman I wasn't going to jump the gurl on the first meeting no matter how much she begged me to (I get that a lot) so we went for a delightful walk in the park and we had a dry hump against an Beech tree.
Am I the only one that gets turned on by the sight of a smooth pale Beech tree stretching into the sky like a naked body?
Heres where I get all technical and computery, a week later and I haven't called Nancy up because I'm trying to keep her keen, besides is that a 3 or a 5 in her number? I then notice I have warts all over my hard drive and my laptops I think I might have VDU but who the fuck uses a MAC for a dry hump? I'm not pissing razor blades I'm pissing electric shavers cords, plugs and all .
Well I'm off to the city for a shot of Pentium® 4 so don't wait up. I am just going outside and may be some time.
26 comments:
That is nastiest picture I've ever seen...No doubt about it!
Just look at the state of that thumbnail. Did you shove that up somewhere?
Speaking of rice bubbles, surely this man has painted a bowl of rice crispies with his favourite pink nail varnish (he doesn't use this on his nails, obviously) and glued them around his squeaky inflamed helmet.
Another beautiful moment, Knudsen.
Trying hard to think of a comment that isn't about the picture but ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ..... I can't.
Arbroath smokies will never be the same.
I'm awake now, cunt.....
my eyes my eyes, my raw red eye....
Snap Crackle and Pop! I loved Rice Crispies. Another food ruined by Old Knudsen.
I agree with fantomas... that's the nastiest picture I've ever seen... that made me clench and I don't even have skin to roll back!
Great story too! :)
I want to pop em like bubblewrap.
Interfacing with others is risky for sure.
VDU...uses a MAC...shot of Pentium 4...
TOO funny!
Oh and also? Even this pathologist is impressed by that foreskin. Amazing photograph.
Has your elbow stopped squeaking?
Great. That's precisely what I was looking for from my first visit to your blog. Like a whiff of Impulse.
You won't be able to keep me away now.
I wouldn't touch it.. but it is actually quite pretty..
.. like a sea anemone..
yikes
Sweet jeebus, that is foul. I'm surprised it didn't fall off.
Get well and may your drive be hard again soon
That's why circumcision is good.
Looks like something caught from the jungle....
And *EW*.. tossing cookies now...
Kenny??
I think eucalyptus trees are way sexier than the humble beech tree.
Yanno, that's almost enough to get me off foreskins completely.
PS: I'm getting to the point where I can't even surf on in here from work because of the images... my monitor is so huge, it's like a big drive in movie screen...
I felt hungry after seein that picture.
You continue to disgust me sir!!!
surfing for spamers again I see...
oh and the picture.. everybody's gotta have some luvin'
Have you people got nothing better to do with yer time? instead of a helpful medical opinion I got Rice Crispie remarks, thats the last time I show you lot my todger, well I really doubt it is.
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