Is Donald Trump The Spawn Of Satan?

Melania wore gloves ... clever little demon

Trump has had his numerous failures throughout his life including 6 bankruptcies failed Trump airlines, casino, magazine, mortgage, university, vodka, pocket pussy and his steaks were made from young runaways it seems. The FDA went nuts when they found out as that breaks some health violations or something. 

The perfect man to run America. George Washington had several military failures before becoming president and the way Washington relied on the French for victory Trump relied on his dad to bail him out ... striking similarities, they were also both quite ugly. 

Fred Trump is dead so how could his son who can't even manage to tweet the word unprecedented correctly become Precedent of the United States? 

Joel Tooley a pastor in Florida took his 11 year-old daughter to Trump's Florida Melbourne rally. He said he had the overwhelming feeling of evil there. 

"I felt like people were here to worship an ideology along with the man who was leading it."

When Melania recited the Lord's prayer it seemed theatrical and manipulative. Trump did not recite the prayer until the very last line, 'the power and the glory forever and ever, amen!'

Rather than giving Trump credit for knowing one line the pastor stood up for a couple of anti-Trump people chanting T-R-U-M-P spells bigotry and had women screaming "fuck you" in demonic voices at him and denouncing him as un-American, their faces contorted in hate and rage. 

Tooley said: "I realized that we were not listening to someone presidential, we were listening to someone terribly powerful. My kid was shaken – she had just seen some of the worst of humanity." 

Tooley was not a Trump or Hillary voter by the way.  I just wonder what the fuck he expected, it was Florida for fucks sake. As we all know Florida (the face eating state) is situated on a Hellmouth and "experts"  think that the Hellmouths in Texas and Arizona are linked to it via a deep underground cave system.

Old Knudsen went to Trump's other Florida rally that the dishonest media didn't cover. It was on Fox and Bro-Bart news but that was it.

A rally of just 600 people held in an abandoned factory the tickets were too hard to get so Old Knudsen had to sneak in. Everyone was marked by a special Trump Stamp but Old Knudsen being the initiative taking fool he is bluffed a mark to show security with a sharpie pen. I wonder what three 6's means. Area code?

Trump gave a speech that covered how big his inauguration crowd was, how the media keep making fake news up that honest General Michael Flynn had to resign as the false allegations made him cry. He denounced Hillary, the Democrats, several US businesses, Sweden, Paris, Germany, the FBI, breast feeding mothers, Meryl Streep, Gandhi, refugees who we all know are terrorists and of course the Mexicans. 

He made sure to blame the increase of hate crimes on extremist Liberals who pretend to be Nazi fucks to give Trump followers a bad name. Trump has the best Nazis, tremendous! ... Terrific Nazis!

When Trump took off his face and revealed his true demon nature the crowd didn't seem to mind. I think all Trumpflakes know in the back of their minds that he is evil and Bannon, Tillerson etc will destroy the US but they've made their choice. As long as they are the last to go they don't care.

There was a bright flash of light and everyone with the mark of the Trump vanished, demon Trump licked his lips and looked at those left behind, just security, staffers and Old Knudsen. 

They grabbed me and Trump said "Knudsen we meet again, I shall kill you but first hear my origins story and evil plan."

Old Knudsen rolled his eyes, it was getting near to lunch and his sugar level was getting low. 

 What Trump would look like without demonic magic

"For years I've failed, only to be bailed out by my father, he kept me safe when I was banging under aged girls and snorting rooms full of coke. When he died I was all alone. Then Satan sent his Russian demons to claim me, they gave me money and hookers with full bladders. All I had to do was sell my soul as my father had done before me."   

    

Old Knudsen wasn't really paying attention as he was starting to get cranky and the label on the neck of his shirt was a little itchy. 

"Satan gave me my youth and my hair back, he gave me the power to do and say anything without people doing anything to stop me. I could also sway the feeble minded to do my bidding, how else do you think an unqualified semi-failure of a businessman whose only real sucess is a reality TV show could become President?"

"No one will miss these 600 souls and since no one reads your blog and you get ghosted on Twitter and Face Book no one will miss you either." 

He came towards Old Knudsen his tiny hands stretched out. Fuck this I was missing lunch. The anger of a low sugar level gave Knudsen the strength of 5 men ... 5 big men. He broke free of the security guards and flung a large 400 LBS guard towards Trump. 

There was a snacks table but you never eat or drink anything at a Trump rally or you'll be trapped there ... everyone knows this. 

Upon making my escape I jumped into my El Camino and raced to a Taco Bell. I had called 911 and had them have ready a couple of Burrito supremes and several soft chicken tacos. 

When you are close to death as I had been today you learn to enjoy life more. I never want to be that close to death ever again so I'll always carry snacks. Oh the demons ... ach sure that was scary too.   

 

Against All Odds

Phil Collins announced to the world of his plans to come out of retirement, this news has come to a shock to many and one man has even launched a petition to stop him. It's my struggle, it's our struggle but for him it's just another day in paradise, no need to think twice just sign. Revolution is in the air tonight and no jacket is required.

So after a few days to let that news sink him, Phil came out with another statement. "I said I was coming out of retirement, and I shall .... unless you pay me one million dollars!"  

Damn it! even his ransom demands are stuck in the 80's. Looks like it's time to sell off me Monsanto shares.



One thing that Collins has always been wrong about and it was irresponsible of him to say this but you can indeed hurry love. Old Knudsen has it doon to 42 seconds so in yer face Phil Collins .... ugh now there is a mental image I could have done without.   
 

You Are Probably Evil

Do you have a moment to talk about just how doomed you are? 

Old Knudsen being a powerful Warlock of chaos is privy to ancient knowledge and wisdom an shit that you normal plebs will never know. Sometimes the mountains tell me their secrets, sometimes the wind that has been blowing since time began tells me and sometimes an alien from Placid IV named Marvin sometimes tells me this knowledge and wisdom. He also gives me racing and fashion tips too.

Old Knudsen would rather listen to an ancient rock that was thrown through his window by forces unknown than believe those fake news sites on the Interwebs.


The truth is that everyone has a demon processing their body. This may not be big news to some as it explains a lot and removes responsibility from people who have done nasty things in their lives so it is therefore a likely and favourable possibility.

This is not what it looks like, come back in 5 minutes and it will look more like it then. 

The demons may not be very powerful to fully take over yer body, they may only be able to influence you a little and sometimes a lot. You sign up for the Ashley Madison site and before you know it yer flirting with dudes pretending to be chicks then the whole world werld knows about it .... obviously the werk of demons and maybe you drink too much but the demons make you do that too.

The more bad shit you do the more powerful the demon becomes. Those smug gits who shit on everyone but don't think they've done anything bad, they become merged with their demon, sociopath is what we call them.      

The thing about lies is that if they sound like your own thoughts then they don't seem like lies. Modern society may call it mental health issues but that's because they are not all powerful warlocks like Old Knudsen.

Sometimes in order for a man to achieve enlightenment, me must skip his meds.Yes, you may quote me on that.

To get rid of yer demons simply send four easy payments of £29.99 to Old Knudsen for a demon blasting prayer that will be beamed into yer soul as soon as yer cheque clears. Like the cuntry China, Old Knudsen doesn't take dollars ... real money for fucks sake, or gold. I used to accept first born children but too many questions got asked about the smell coming from my safe-deposit box in the Ulster bank.

If you can't afford the payment then yer demon is obviously holding you back, in this instance it is ok for you to steal it. In fact yer eternal soul demands it. 

This may sound like a money making scam but that is yer demon talking because they can see out of yer eyes and are probably very afraid. 

It is in no way a scam. To prevent another demon from taking up residence within you, merely send £19.99 for a protection spell. 

 Old Knudsen's life ... die you white winged bastard!

Old Knudsen wouldn't normally charge but the forces of evil demand rent and lawyer fees in a constant battle of good against evil in order to silence Old Knudsen. When a friend on Facebook un-friends Old Knudsen after hearing his plan to nuke the whole Middle East in order to achieve peace, that is the demon manipulating them, who else would be so against werld peace but a demon?   

Demons come and go and are sometimes expelled for many reasons, such as a chance encounter with a unicorn or if you actually embrace yer dark side and accept it, they leave as there is no challenge for them then. Vegetarians have strong demons. Hitler thought he was a good guy saving animals from cruelty but was he really .... who knows? ..... as the Pope said, who are we to judge? 

A burger a day keeps the demons at bay .... but not for long so act fast while I still have some demon blasting prayers left. Yes there is a discount for Old Knudsen's friends, when he gets some friends he'll certainly look after them. 
Facebook doesn't count, if he could he'd change his friends list for a cunts list with a big fat dislike button of scorn. Don't pity them.     

You weren't the same person you were 10 years ago, it's not like you've grown as a person, don't kid yerself you shallow fucktard, yer issues have issues. Probably a stronger demon killed the weaker demon inside you and took over.  
Old Knudsen used to like ginger weemen, then he changed to brunettes, then he changed to freshly dead ones .... tastes don't change but demons do.  

A quick demon possession test. When you look at this picture do you think, Old Knudsen is deifying his court order again and those poor children probably ended up buried in his allotment? or Oh look, the ex has had a change of heart and Old Knudsen has been allowed weekend visits? 

If you thought the first one then you've got a demon inside you tonguing yer soul. For legal reasons I can't tell you the story behind this pic. 

Old Knudsen has many demons within him, the seal of Solomon enables him to enslave the demons in order to use their power. It is sad that many in law enforcement and the judicial system have given into their demons otherwise Old Knudsen would still be operating his legal high shop but the fight goes on and those pawns of evil will pay. 

Now you at least know that when the World Health Organization comes out and denounces bacon or something that they are obviously infiltrated by demons.   

   

Yer eyes are open. Now buy my book so you can learn how to access yer ultimate form and to think blast away negativity .... buy it now or the demons will win.

    

Reason #187 Why The Pope Is The Anti-Christ

How beautiful, enjoy yer fucking dignity.

The Anti-Christ is obviously someone who is the opposite counterpart of Christ, ya with me? Jesus said, on a Wednesday afternoon in June "Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth ..... But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also."   

The Pope says, "If you insult my mother you can expect a punch"  he was putting that forward as a normal response about the Charlie Hebdo killings. It might be ok for Old Knudsen to say that they were asking for it and they knew that but the Pope has to at least pretend to be a Christian .... it's his fucking job.  

Accept my tongue as it were Christ's own. 

This week he said: "One time, I heard a father in a meeting with married couples say 'I sometimes have to smack my children a bit, but never in the face so as to not humiliate them' ... How beautiful, he knows the sense of dignity. He has to punish them but does it justly and moves on."

Proverbs says: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell"  the Pope should be telling us to hit the wee fuckers with sticks.

The UN convention on the rights of a child which calls for the abolition of corporal punishment in all circumstances was signed by the Vatican. However a UN committee has claimed that beating kids is still going on in Catholic institutions worldwide. The Vatican has done nothing to protect the children in these schools or in the home.

Wow, not protecting children, that's a first for the Vatican.

Now the Pope is saying that it's ok to smack kids. Just don't punch them in the face as that might leave an easy to see mark and child protective services go ape shit about things like that .... er I mean it might rob them of their dignity.

  You spilled the blood of Christ you stupid little fuck!

The act of spanking, smacking, using a switch or rabbit punches to the back of the head are not just meant to teach the child to not do something again, they are meant to hurt and degrade the child to make a lasting memory ..... there is no dignity.  Look at the picture above, does that look dignified?  

'Well we were spanked as children and it did us not harm' .... it made you ugly, stupid and more inclined to justify violence towards children. 

Corporal punishment doesn't work, did it make the slaves work any harder in Roots? No it made them more uppity. When Old Knudsen was caned at school did he try harder to study? .... fuck em, I gots me enough smarts, I did my time and got out. 

Violence begets violence, the whole cycle of abuse thing is being fed by the Pope. Should we listen to some homophobe who doesn't even have children? 

Do parents often take parental advice from their friends and family who haven't reproduced? ... like fuck they do. You can't learn parenting from the TV, you have to do it. Parenting opens up a whole new range of thoughts and feelings that those without children don't get to have. You could try to imagine it but it won't be the same. 

Having 30 cats does not count as parenting either. 

Ach don't worry, many breeders don't get it either, just the good parents who actually love their kids. 

Like people who complain about illegal immigrants, they have suffered fuck all in their life that they can judge so readily. Some situations can only be appreciated when you walk a mile in someone else's 6 inch heeled fuck me pumps.     

This red shirt always makes it back to the ship. 

Old Knudsen warned you about this Pope, you were all 'oh isn't he great, he said who am I to judge, he's such a nice Pope' well the honeymoon is over. Now the world is seeing his true face, boy did he have to make it obvious for the rest of yous to catch on, you just didn't want to believe. 

I don't like having to say I told you so because that usually means that there really is an evil or a problem. Like Cassandra and Churchill, Old Knudsen gets ignored when he predicts the true nature of things but he doesn't mind .... he does really cos he's sick of how thick you lot can be. 

The Welsh Zombie Face Eater

It was just a matter of time that Wales started turn evil, cases of pedophilia have been in the news with more than 114 Registered Sexual Offenders living in the Bridgend and the Vale of Glamorgan areas.  

Five-year-old April Jones was abducted and murdered in Wales in 2012 and the singer of the Welsh rock band Lostprophets was jailed for depraved acts against children, these were the most high profile cases of late. 

This is because of the Cardiff riff, similar to the one in Leeds and known in the US as Hellmouths which can be found in Florida, Arizona, Texas and Cleavland to name a few. 

Ebola is said to have crawled out of a riff in Africa according to CIA sources. 

Cerys Yemm a tasty 22 year-old shop assistant was chatted up in a bar by 34 year-old Matthew Williams. He invited her back to his hotel the Sirhowy Arms hotel in South Wales. He was recently released from prison after serving 5 years for a violent attack on his former partner. The hotel acts as a as a bail hostel so don't go thinking it's all swanky, it's a fucking bed and breakfast for scumbags.

Williams who is thought to have taken cocaine before the attack went nuts and started to eat her face, it is unsure what actually killed her though having yer face eaten wouldn't have been very good for her.
The security guard at the hotel saw Williams eating one of her eyeballs .... eyeballs are a good source of water if yer thirsty, so is the tap in the sink.

A policewoman arrived and tasered Williams who then died. Did he have a heart attack or can zombies be killed by electrocution? Gwent Police have yet to return my e-mails.

Some harsh lessons can be learned from this tragedy such as don't trust zombie criminal wife beaters who pick you up in a bar, have better taste in men, especially the ones who want to taste you. Ms Yemm's former boyfriend was jailed for 3 years when he set fire to his home in a in a botched suicide bid after they split up so she seemed to be attracted to the unstable type, why does Old Knudsen never meet this kind of lass?

As the riff vibrates with evil this kind of thing will become common place.

 

Zombie Night

You may have noticed that Old Knudsen might have a more than keen interest in ZOMBIES!!!!! not just because I've been back from the dead more times than Jesus, Joan of Arc and Elvis all put together but for other reasons too.

It all started when I was a child, I was bitten by a zombie and so I've never trusted them ever since ... no wait that's clowns. Due to my life experiences people are the biggest danger in the world, they are the ones who will torture you for pleasure or some other agenda, they are the ones who would kill millions to feed their ego and for power. Evil exists and mankind is one of its greatest tools.

Zombies being dead already and the fact that they want to kill you means that it's ok to kill them first, the morality issue is not there. A guy who was a dickhead in life and who gets turned into a zombie would be a joy to kill and with no consequences, you don't go to prison for killing zombies.

So there you have control issues and people who are easier to deal with cos you can head shoot them or use a hammer if in the gunless UK. In good zombie movies they know that people and their unpredictability are more frightening than the zombies. You come across a group of well armed people and those people want to take what is yers and possibly rape and kill you .... or kill you then rape you whatever works. People are still the monsters but there are less of them and hey, you can kill them too assuming that you can.

So that's why Old Knudsen likes zombie movies, you get to kill people without punishment and those who are left are easier to figure out.

I watched the movie Zombie night the other day, mostly because TV is shite and I was bored. How many times must we watch Hitler's rise to power, his super weapons and how he lost? I may be obsessed with zombies but British TV is obsessed with Hitler .... and shitty soaps and reality shows. I'm surprised there hasn't been a soap called 'Deutschland' set in Hitler's bunker. Hitler,"Ve invaded Russia in vinter? oy vey, vhen vill ve ever learn?"  Himmler, "You slag Adolf, you said you wouldn't execute my long lost ghey Jewish twin" Goebbels,"I gave ze order because I loved him, his last words were that you are really triplets und he is black." Himmler, "NNNOOOO!!!!!"

Yeah ok, I'd probably watch that.

So anyways Zombie Night, looks class right? Not to be confused with the screenplay I haven't written yet called Zombie Knight in which a knight from King Arthur's time cums alive and .... well I haven't thought it out yet cos I've want a zombie horse too except zombie horses wouldn't eat meat but don't be stealing it or I'll kill you .... no, seriously I will. 

Anthony Michael Hall and Daryl Hannah, two big A-lister stars, in Albania they are still A-list. AMH (the cool lazy way to say his name) did Dead zone and I liked that, he can act, except in this he just wanted to get it done to pay his rent. Daryl Hannah still has those smouldering good looks we first saw in Splash. 

Did I saw smouldering? I mean get her the fuck away from the heater she's melting. No wait this isn't her.

 

But still, you might want to turn that heater doon a bit.

In the first 10 minutes I was annoyed, who directed and edited this piece of shit? Anthony Micheal Hall was in a car with his teenage daughter and her friend stuck in traffic, "What's happening daddy?" ... "I don't know baby" .... "Don't worry baby" he called her Baby like 20 times, close yer eyes and it could have sounded like a bad porno .... the good ones just have grunting.

Yeah lets take a short cut by the cemetery, oops knocked a guy down lets all get out and check then run away from the car when zombies stumble at us. When you are afraid you have a heightened sense of danger, in bad zombie movies you live in a brain fart and have the reaction speed of a drunken sloth.

Fast zombies from 28 days later are scary, these ones stumbled around and could be distracted by someone throwing a shoe.
  

The mum from The Partridge Family was Daryl Hannah's mum, she was either blind with dementia or just highly strung it was hard to tell. A knock at the door, "DON'T LET THEM IN THEY MIGHT KILL US" ... someone shut that old bat up, yes killers always knock first. 

A noise from upstairs has the mum and Daryl shouting, "anyone up there?" Daryl grabbed a magnum handgun and added, "I have a gun and I will shoot it" it all works out well as the mum dies of a heart attack then turns zombie and gets shot in the head, not by Daryl but by another hysterical woman who picks up the magnum after Daryl drops it and does a head shot to the mum with her eyes closed.    

So much for gun courage but yeah, old dithers slow you doon when there is brain bashing to be done.

Why does he need a flashlight?

When a zombie was edited climbing through a window 3 times to drag out the suspense I started to fast forward, I wanted these fuckers to get eaten. Stop calling her Baby, she has a fucking name, it's Tracie! 
It's a TV movie from 2013 but did it have to be that bad? The Walking dead started in 2010 and that is far better, even back then. 
Alan Ruck from Ferris Bueller's day off had a small part in it and his performance was Oscar worthy compared to the others. 

The director was probably resting on his laurels after making the hit movie Piranha 3DD.
 

 

I haven't seen it but a movie that has both Gary Busey and David Hasslehoff in it has to be totes amazeballs.

For some reason everyone in Zombie Night kept waiting for dawn as if the nightmare would be over then, maybe that is when the budget runs out. The last scene is the dawn shining with the survivors walking off into it. I want to see a sequel that takes up where that one left off, they reach the end of the road and 50 zombies are coming at them and Anthony Michael Hall says, "vampires, it's vamps that don't like the sun not zombies".. and they die.   

Maybe I watch such shite not because I like zombies but because I hate myself.  Ah well, don't forget to tune into SyFy for *Z Nation* every week, it's bound to get better sooner or later.




*From the makers of Sharknado so don't count on it getting better.*

Hunting Evil

The old house on Bailey street must have been grand in it's day, hell it still looked pretty impressive today. No one passing by knew what great evil lies within but now and again you can see people spin their head around startled as if something had jumped into their peripheral vision only to have them look sheepish that nothing is there and then think 'I hope no one saw my spas out moment.'

For 2 years I had been living out of my car, an Oldsmobile Delta 88, roomy enough for a family of 10 to live in however it would be great if they cleaned the inside first. You could profile my life from the various stains to be found, yes I do eat a lot of fast food in the car as I'm always watching.
Yes I did used to drink beer until I found out how difficult it is to drink and drive, now I drink whiskey from a flask and yes sometimes I can't be arsed going outside for a pee .... hence the wide mouthed bottle.

Two years ago I watched those monsters destroy my family, they made me watch. Only the dawn and them thinking that my wounds would kill me kept them from finishing me off.

What happened over the 72 hours after that night was nothing short of miraculous. On the brink of death my body just stopped dying, I felt strong and alert. I knew those monsters had infected me as I had a more than usual thirst for blood. I refused to feed, I was going to be the master of this ... well ok I had a little, just enough to wet my whistle.

Hot chicks making out.

I don't know why the infection didn't consume me as it had Father Murphy, the local sheriff  and most of the town of Sleepy meadow. I was stronger, faster and could fly .... no not really but that would have been fucking cool as I flew around bedroom windies looking at hot chicks making out. Hey I just lost my family, it's how I grieve, don't judge me.    

I couldn't let the towns folk infect anywhere else, Wolf lake was only 5 miles away and they had enough problems on a normal day. I can't quite put my finger on what their problem is, people go missing usually around the time of the full moon, could be a Satanic cult or something, the only thing we find are some clothes lying around and no human tracks at all just wolf .... very odd. 

I sat slouched low in my car across from the hoose, the old one was in there I could feel it. Its daytime caretaker moved from window to window and wandered into the garden at times with a watering can. I'm surprised those roses haven't wilted with the amount of water on them I think he doesn't like me parking here, he looked nervous.

I gotta make my move soon. When lurch goes over to the outside faucet to fill up again I grab my bag of gear and swiftly make my way the long way to the back of the hoose cutting through a neighbour's yard.  
The back door to the kitchen was locked but my picking skills soon opened it with a satisfying click. My heighten sense of smell could tell it was chilli night, maybe because it was simmering away on the stove, hmmm not bad, obviously made with beef right?
I added more salt because is it me or does no one use enough salt? ..... and ketchup.  I could eat this whole thing but I had a mission and the fate of the world was in jeopardy, oh look some crusty bread, these evil guardians sure eat well, it was at the point where I didn't really care if it was beef or not.

I'll have to get the recipe before I cut his head off.

I moved out of the kitchen and over to the door under the stairs that led to the basement. The light was out so I used my small flashlight on the stairs going doon. 

In the pitch darkness I could smell the evil .... must have been the chilli, I carefully walked through the darkness towards a large rectangular box ... a coffin maybe?

I lifted the lid and what I saw inside turned me hair white ... not the hair on me head, this was seriously scary.

Amongst the polystyrene peanuts were articles of pure evil that had to be destroyed for the sake of the world, Thomas Kincade plates with ugly ass snow covered roofs and bleary lights in the darkness looking all quaint.  

Art with a capital F.

The old one was not here, just examples of his evil. I destroyed then thus saving someone from getting a gog awful Christmas present.

The noise alerted the guardian who stood at the top of the stairs trying to peer into the gloom. He made some empty threat about calling the police, he wouldn't have risked the police unless they were servants of evil too.

I raced up the stairs with my trusty short sword and took off his head in one powerful sweep, it bounced doon the stairs to the darkness below.

My work was done and just in time too as dusk had come, the evil of the world is strong in the darkness and I doubt I would have been able to complete my task.

Oh time for some more chilli, hunting evil always made me hungry, so did me tape worm. Another dead end in search of the old one, maybe I should have some kind of system than just picking hooses at random. 

Kirk Douglas Is Outed

Don't look into his eyes.

The truth as to why Old Knudsen is in Americy is not because he is a tax exile or has been made a huge throbbing offer to re-start his porn acting career in order to save that particular industry.

Oh no my friends for I was once one of God's most fairest angels, The Morning Star, The Light Bearer or The Hot But Still Cool, yes I had many names and though I always speak the truth some took that as arrogance and pride but is it really pride to say that my booty is hotter than yers when it is?

The truth that I speak today is that Old Knudsen has cum to Americy to hunt monsters. Yes my friends they are real and I am on the trail of an undead soul muncher.

Where am I ? why am I wet ? got any life force ?

A soul muncher is a demon that feeds of the life force of others, the actor you may know as Kirk Douglas is such a vile creature.
His ancient Sumerian name being Issur Danielovitch and he has also gone by the name Sparticus but then again who hasn't ?
In this current life he is known as Kirk Douglas the father of that disgusting half a star Michael Douglas who married the stuck up Welsh witch Catherine Zeta Jones who made Ocean's 12 worse than it already was which was very bad. A whole family of evil, EVIL I say.

Look how Kirk Douglas mocks Christianity by naming himself 'Kirk' which is Scottish for church and Douglas which is a town on the Isle of Man but that has nothing to do with it.

Taking advantage of poor ghey scientologist John Travolta .

Douglas claims to be 91 years old but I know him to be much older, he goes around giving playgrounds to children's schools and charities EVIL playgrounds! and goes doon the slide for a photo op. He may be 91 but he could snap yer neck like Michael Moore breaking open a fried chicken wing to get to the fleshy flesh flesh within.

Taking the life force of poor ghey scientologist John Travolta, that should keep him going for another year.

Charlton Heston put up a superb fight before I banished that cunt to hell dimension with that Fosset wanker. I'm on to ya Douglas, the trick is not to look them in the eyes because then yer eyes will go all watery looking at their watery eyes then they'll suck off yer life force.

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