Who Will Die In 2017?

Time for the 2017 deadpool

What happens when 2016 ends but the celebs still keep dying? It's almost as if shit just happens no matter what the year ... mind blown!

Spock died early 2015 and Bowie in early 2016 shit does happen. We don't really know the people but because they have had an impact on our lives we think we know a part of them. Nimoy and Fisher hated the silly roles that made them famous but eventually came to see them as a kind of blessing. Like a singer having a one hit wonder, still more than what most people get. 

Rick Astley and Bob Geldoff made careers out of their hits songs. Vanilla Ice is still cool in my books too, he taught me how to be ghetto tough .... werd to yer Ma.  

Kirk Douglas: I've tried to tell the werld about him but they wouldn't listen. Someday this year he'll try to bite a young muscular runaway and they will break loose from their restraints (Michael can't tie decent knots) and fuck him up .... the media will report it as pneumonia. You can't dodge the deadpool forever!

Men usually go after their birthday and Douglas just had his 100th.

  
Remember I reported that Prince Philip died in 2011 during heart surgery? I still stand by that. The disappearances around Buckingham palace and cutting back the staff have been a big clue to it. Who gets millions to fix up yer palace (installing torture rooms) and rises in pay then sacks servants? .... only a cunt ... or someone married to a zombie. Philip is going to bite off more than he can chew this year too.

Queen Elizabeth will probably die of a broken heart ... or rat poison if Prince Charles the heir to the throne has anything to say about it. Maybe Harry or William will get revenge for Di.

John Hurt was given the all clear for his pancreatic cancer but not for big cocks ripping out of his chest. His last words will be, "I didn't see that cumming."

Old people will blather on about the Rocky horror picture show when Tim Curry carks it or worse still when one of the last remaining Monty Python folk goes we'll have those quotes. John Cleese died? I didn't expect that ... NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! .... fuck that'll be such original fun. 

  "it says here I died" ... how meta!

 
Cher, Diana Ross maybe even Madonna. I expect a lot of shite old "classics" to appear on social media. George Bush sr, Stan Lee, Hugh Heffner and maybe Bruce Forsyth. Buzz Aldrin wasn't looking too great the other day.

      C'mon Bruce, stop fighting and tap dance into the light.

As we've seen with George Michael and Prince that you can be still in yer 50's and die, abuse substances and you'll be gone ... WHAM! yer done. 

Robert Downey jr is 51, he's had a history of drug abuse. He says he's learned from it but all this fame from Iron man is bound to pull him back once he has a 'I don't want to be type cast' moment and work on stuff no one wants to see.  

Wife beater Johnny Depp can fuck off and die I won't miss him. 

Chris Hemsworth ... maybe Chris Evans or Chris Pratt will die in an accidental bench pressing accident and ruin Marvel's plans for years of sequels. Liam Hemsworth will say he'll step up, workout and fill the void but who the fuck wants him?   Lets hope it's Hawkeye or War Machine that bites it, they are totally expendable. 

How much more can Jonah Hill's heart take? .... just remember I asked that question.

In 2016 there were more men than women who died but when the chicks do die they are chicks like Princess fucken Leia that obviously everyone now loves.
 
Keith Richards is only 73 but for years people have claimed he's immortal or like a cockroach. Has he done more partying than every other rock star or does he just look like he has? If his appearance was anything to go by then he probably already is dead, he just hasn't noticed. 

William Shatner is 85 for fucks sake, Kirk has had his day and has been inadequately replaced but Shatner shows no sign of slowing down so expect a DVT on some plane trip. 

 I feel crooked and ill

Now the wishful thinking part of my post. During his impeachment trial in which the whole cabinet is charged with fraud and war profiteering Donald Trump dies from Carotenemia. You can obviously see by his skin he indulges in the excessive consumption of carotene-rich foods. 
His diary is found in which he writes about the numerous sexual assaults and rapes he's done and yet the GOP and his voters still blame Hillary.

Mike Pence dies from infection and a loss of blood from tears in his rectum due to a faulty second hand Assmaster 3000 he bought off Craigslist ... turns out he likes it dirty, well that explains a lot. 

The presenters of Top Gear die is a fiery crash while driving a souped up ice cream van. 

Nigel Farage dies when the brakes on his British made but Indian owned Jag fail. Turns out it didn't have the CE mark on it which means it has to be made with certain standards and quality for European Conformity .... oh the irony.


The ball is in yer court 2017, bring it on.  

Kirk Douglas Dead

Interest has risen since I told the world that prince Philip was a zombie, now people are asking, 'are there any more high profile zombies?'
Being undead is no longer such a social taboo in Hollywood and there are more than you'd think.

Kirk Douglas died of a heart attack in the mid 90's during a coke fueled orgy, as he has connections he had already arranged for his CIA buddies to inject him with the unstable secret serum which has been in general use on the public in such states such as Florida and Arizona with mixed results. A successful zombie rate of 40% is better than death and it looks like Douglas beat the odds. 

Being a Hollywood legend, Douglas has an army of volunteers allowing him to feed of them just for the honour of being ate by a Hollywood star of his status.   

Son Michael Douglas actually caught zombie syndrome after giving a rim job to undead Angela Lansbury. He now juggles being undead and being a has been movie star and father to three ... unless he eats one.

Oldest Celebrity Blogger And Its Not Fucking Well Me!

CUNT CUNT CUNTY CUNT CUNT What am I just some 15 year-old chronic masturbater pretending to be old? Did I not blog about how the Jews black balled me from Hollywood for wearing a fake nose before it all became the trend? Did I not have a part in the 1995 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie as 'scared old man #2'?

I've been passed over by angels of death and over looked by the Irish blog awards more times than you've had hot dinners and now this!

Kirk Douglas aged a measly 92 has become the oldest celebrity blogger on social networking Web site MySpace. Well he must be a pedo then, um sure I have a MySpace site as listed on my sidebar but that was just to get into that fella from Ghosthunter's site cos I have the horn for the Kris gurl on the show.
I have 3 friends and one of them is that Tom cunt who is everyone's friend and that Douglas fella may have 4,400 friends but how many of those cunts are really his friend? me and Tom stayed up all night drinking apple schnapps and playing Tekken 3.

He says:

"I express my opinion, and I tell them that they don't have to agree with me because it's a free country," he said. "And their answers are very, very interesting."

Oh really I never get any interesting answers on my blog, yer a cunt Mr Douglas!

In an online universe where blogs are often grammatically incorrect or stream-of-consciousness screeds, Douglas' distinguishes himself with reasoned entries that cover everything from acting (he calls it "a disease") to his memories of once spending Thanksgiving in Pakistan.

I spent 4 Thanksgivings in a Russian Gulag and I don't even celebrate it, how about that you oh so interesting person? thousands of Pakkies spend Thanksgiving in Pakistan do you think they are bragging about it?

He also brings humor to his site. When listing his favorite movies he wrote, "'Champion,' 'Spartacus,' 'Paths of Glory' and 'Lonely Are the Brave' (I just happen to be in these movies.)"

Well I hate to tell him but I'm Spartacus! also I'm fucking hilarious or so me mammy says.

"All the comments that he gets on his page are so supportive, and people really find him truly inspirational," said Angie Allgood, director of talent relations at MySpace.

How cum I get all the cunts then? Fuck this Douglas man is really getting my goat.

Douglas, the father of actor Michael Douglas, became a major star in the 1950s and has long been part of Hollywood royalty. As their household got ready for the holidays, the Douglases had a gift on their table addressed to Nancy Reagan, the former U.S. First Lady.

You want to know a secret? Michael Douglas is a cunt too. I have a gift addressed to Clark Gable on my table, it doesn't mean the dead wanker is going to get it, I just have it there for nosy reporters.

Blogging is only part of Douglas' life, something the actor began in March 2007 to promote his memoir "Let's Face It."

I do it because I love people, not to promote myself. I have got many e-mails saying about how people are having a bad day until they read my blog then they laugh and everything isn't so bad. The cunts didn't call me inspirational or anything but still.

Douglas in one entry last year wrote that he was receiving too many comments and messages to answer each one personally, which was his goal when he started.

"But I want you to know that I appreciate each comment that I receive -- positive or negative. And I enjoy the opportunity to talk to so many people much younger than I am," he wrote.

You know what? sometimes I just can't be arsed too. He enjoys talking to people much younger and firmer than he is, see? a pedo.

Douglas in person tends to punctuate his phrases with short jabs of his hands, like a boxer, and on his blogs he makes full use of mood icons such as an animated cat with accompanying words like "creative" and "contemplative."

Oh fucking LOL while yer at it.

He said even though his wife, Anne, is more computer literate than"I take it seriously. Otherwise I wouldn't do it," he said. "I don't have to do it, I don't make money. It's something that gives me personal satisfaction."

It does promote yer books though, speaking of which go to my Knudsen Shop blog and buy my books for someone special. I don't have to wank it's something that gives me personal satisfaction and seals envelopes.

You ain't all that Mr Douglas, you have just earned yerself a place on my hit-list, I have warts older than you. I'd give out yer MySpace address but yer a cunt. Kirky lad go to 'my' space and beg to be my friend.

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Kirk Douglas Is Outed

Don't look into his eyes.

The truth as to why Old Knudsen is in Americy is not because he is a tax exile or has been made a huge throbbing offer to re-start his porn acting career in order to save that particular industry.

Oh no my friends for I was once one of God's most fairest angels, The Morning Star, The Light Bearer or The Hot But Still Cool, yes I had many names and though I always speak the truth some took that as arrogance and pride but is it really pride to say that my booty is hotter than yers when it is?

The truth that I speak today is that Old Knudsen has cum to Americy to hunt monsters. Yes my friends they are real and I am on the trail of an undead soul muncher.

Where am I ? why am I wet ? got any life force ?

A soul muncher is a demon that feeds of the life force of others, the actor you may know as Kirk Douglas is such a vile creature.
His ancient Sumerian name being Issur Danielovitch and he has also gone by the name Sparticus but then again who hasn't ?
In this current life he is known as Kirk Douglas the father of that disgusting half a star Michael Douglas who married the stuck up Welsh witch Catherine Zeta Jones who made Ocean's 12 worse than it already was which was very bad. A whole family of evil, EVIL I say.

Look how Kirk Douglas mocks Christianity by naming himself 'Kirk' which is Scottish for church and Douglas which is a town on the Isle of Man but that has nothing to do with it.

Taking advantage of poor ghey scientologist John Travolta .

Douglas claims to be 91 years old but I know him to be much older, he goes around giving playgrounds to children's schools and charities EVIL playgrounds! and goes doon the slide for a photo op. He may be 91 but he could snap yer neck like Michael Moore breaking open a fried chicken wing to get to the fleshy flesh flesh within.

Taking the life force of poor ghey scientologist John Travolta, that should keep him going for another year.

Charlton Heston put up a superb fight before I banished that cunt to hell dimension with that Fosset wanker. I'm on to ya Douglas, the trick is not to look them in the eyes because then yer eyes will go all watery looking at their watery eyes then they'll suck off yer life force.

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