Your God Hates You

 

In 2013 radical Islamists in Bangladesh released a list of 84 atheist bloggers who were going to be killed for being critical spreading lies about Islam. Old Knudsen was the 85th but was taken off that list after I told them that I wasn't an atheist. Old Knudsen believes in more gods than you can shake a stick at.
So they put me on the 'kill whenever you can' list which I'm happy about as long as they give me a bit of notice. I'd hate to be killed if one of me shows was on.   

Of the 84 bloggers, 10 have been killed. Either hacked to death or stabbed. People think of blogging as a sad affair that only failed writers or mentally unstable people do but it's not, look at me, weemen beg me for sex everyday ... they all want me and my book would be on the best sellers list if those publishers had any fucking taste.
In butt fuck oppressive cuntries like Bangladesh, Saudi Arabia or North Korea a blog can give the people a voice that's free and that you can add pretty pictures to so the reader's lives are enbettered.

 Isn't blogging wonderful? Oh Mohammed, yer such a bottom feeder.

In Bangladesh you have to watch out for fanatical cunts in the streets but in Saudi Arabia it's the government. They sentenced Raif Badawi to 10 years in prison and 1,000 lashes. Aye the government of Saudi Arabia is full of camel molesting cunts. So what if he insulted Islam, if Islam is ok about cutting people's heads off and stoning them in the street then Islam is full of wank. Go on insult Old Knudsen's Paganism, say Thor takes it up the shitter or that Apollo is fat .... I'm no gonna hack someone to death for that, catch a grip. Old Knudsen's imaginary friends have thicker skins than that. 

Saudi Arabia .... our ally, is about to break their own record for beheadings. In Saudi Arabia you can get beheaded for ghey sex, adultery, arson, robbery, dealing and having drugs, apostasy, drinking booze and of course witchcraft or sorcery. A powerful Warlock such as Old Knudsen would be publicly executed in a heart beat in fact he wouldn't even have time to set his beer doon to put some lube on they'd have him in shackles. Saudi Arabia is sandy shit hole of oppression, they have oil, why haven't we bombed the fuck out of them? They aren't too far from the stone age, lets send them all the way.      

 

 

Niloy Neel is the latest blogger to have been killed in Bangladesh, there were 3 others this year in February, March and May. The nutjob group that had the original list only wanted the bloggers arrested and tried for blasphemy and claim to not know who is doing the killing. Is it a case of,  "Who will rid me of this troublesome priest" and some fuckwits saw it as their duty to Allah, like you do?

In from of the Tiger Palace which is totally a holiday camp. 

North Korea only allows one blog but it gives a good idea of what the people go through there. "I went to the store today and for a small sum bought lots of nutritious food, I saw our dear leader in the street helping an old lady to cross the road, he is so wonderful and looks more taller and muscular in real life than he does in photographs. I came home where my family were playing board games and speaking their opinions without fear and we all agreed that North Korea is the best place in the world to live in and that America needs to die."  

Only an amatuer uses their real name and gives details of where they live, which reminds me I think I'll get a take away from the King Dragon tonight since it's only 2 doors doon from me house and maybe tomorrow I'll walk into town via York street and see if I can see any of those movie stars that are in Belfast at the moment like Charlie Hunnam from Pacific Rimjob or that queer vampire Robert Pattinson. Both are due a dig in the back of their heds for making shite movies.

In case anyone has forgotten, Islam, Christianity, Judaism and those dodgy far east religions that no one cares about .... all full of fucktards, go plant a fucken tree and stop being cunts to each other.  

Oldest Celebrity Blogger And Its Not Fucking Well Me!

CUNT CUNT CUNTY CUNT CUNT What am I just some 15 year-old chronic masturbater pretending to be old? Did I not blog about how the Jews black balled me from Hollywood for wearing a fake nose before it all became the trend? Did I not have a part in the 1995 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie as 'scared old man #2'?

I've been passed over by angels of death and over looked by the Irish blog awards more times than you've had hot dinners and now this!

Kirk Douglas aged a measly 92 has become the oldest celebrity blogger on social networking Web site MySpace. Well he must be a pedo then, um sure I have a MySpace site as listed on my sidebar but that was just to get into that fella from Ghosthunter's site cos I have the horn for the Kris gurl on the show.
I have 3 friends and one of them is that Tom cunt who is everyone's friend and that Douglas fella may have 4,400 friends but how many of those cunts are really his friend? me and Tom stayed up all night drinking apple schnapps and playing Tekken 3.

He says:

"I express my opinion, and I tell them that they don't have to agree with me because it's a free country," he said. "And their answers are very, very interesting."

Oh really I never get any interesting answers on my blog, yer a cunt Mr Douglas!

In an online universe where blogs are often grammatically incorrect or stream-of-consciousness screeds, Douglas' distinguishes himself with reasoned entries that cover everything from acting (he calls it "a disease") to his memories of once spending Thanksgiving in Pakistan.

I spent 4 Thanksgivings in a Russian Gulag and I don't even celebrate it, how about that you oh so interesting person? thousands of Pakkies spend Thanksgiving in Pakistan do you think they are bragging about it?

He also brings humor to his site. When listing his favorite movies he wrote, "'Champion,' 'Spartacus,' 'Paths of Glory' and 'Lonely Are the Brave' (I just happen to be in these movies.)"

Well I hate to tell him but I'm Spartacus! also I'm fucking hilarious or so me mammy says.

"All the comments that he gets on his page are so supportive, and people really find him truly inspirational," said Angie Allgood, director of talent relations at MySpace.

How cum I get all the cunts then? Fuck this Douglas man is really getting my goat.

Douglas, the father of actor Michael Douglas, became a major star in the 1950s and has long been part of Hollywood royalty. As their household got ready for the holidays, the Douglases had a gift on their table addressed to Nancy Reagan, the former U.S. First Lady.

You want to know a secret? Michael Douglas is a cunt too. I have a gift addressed to Clark Gable on my table, it doesn't mean the dead wanker is going to get it, I just have it there for nosy reporters.

Blogging is only part of Douglas' life, something the actor began in March 2007 to promote his memoir "Let's Face It."

I do it because I love people, not to promote myself. I have got many e-mails saying about how people are having a bad day until they read my blog then they laugh and everything isn't so bad. The cunts didn't call me inspirational or anything but still.

Douglas in one entry last year wrote that he was receiving too many comments and messages to answer each one personally, which was his goal when he started.

"But I want you to know that I appreciate each comment that I receive -- positive or negative. And I enjoy the opportunity to talk to so many people much younger than I am," he wrote.

You know what? sometimes I just can't be arsed too. He enjoys talking to people much younger and firmer than he is, see? a pedo.

Douglas in person tends to punctuate his phrases with short jabs of his hands, like a boxer, and on his blogs he makes full use of mood icons such as an animated cat with accompanying words like "creative" and "contemplative."

Oh fucking LOL while yer at it.

He said even though his wife, Anne, is more computer literate than"I take it seriously. Otherwise I wouldn't do it," he said. "I don't have to do it, I don't make money. It's something that gives me personal satisfaction."

It does promote yer books though, speaking of which go to my Knudsen Shop blog and buy my books for someone special. I don't have to wank it's something that gives me personal satisfaction and seals envelopes.

You ain't all that Mr Douglas, you have just earned yerself a place on my hit-list, I have warts older than you. I'd give out yer MySpace address but yer a cunt. Kirky lad go to 'my' space and beg to be my friend.

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

So little Timmy you want to start up a Blog?

A Guide To Starting Up A Blog.

Meet little Timmy, he wants a Blog like all the other adults, he was too much of a pedo for MySpace if thats possible so now he wants to share himself with you. Well some of you, the more lonely and vulnerable of you.

The first thing you need to do is find the right blog for you. Reach doon and feel yer balls, no here let me, you see you dress to the right so therefore yer side bar should be on the right. Ladies look to see which one of yer tits is bigger than the other if the right one is bigger then yer sidebar should be on the right. If you have any trouble deciding please send me pictures so that I may help, Ellie yer Blog is so fine, thanks for the pictures. The chesticle alignment method cums from ancient China and is similar to Feng Shui, it promotes the flow of wisdom and thoughts around yer Blog. How many times have I heard, "I can't think of anything to write" well grab yer nuts and think about it.

Colour is very important, white is not a colour so therefore shows a lack of imagination.

Gray just screams drab and I'd hate to see yer hoose.

Black means yer a cunt and want to strain yer older reader's eyes.

Bright blues and pinks means yer a perky shite and have no business Blogging.

The late Blogger McGee (he was never punctual) was probably the best Blogger in the world with his satirical take on life in the now deleted Blog "Pish Flaps." He taught me everything I know, well dirty Sandra taught me a few things too but we won't go into that now.

Blogger McGee (God rest his Blog) became disillusioned with the "yay I'm first" comments, the mindless YouTubes and the repetitive memes. In his award winning post "What the fuck do you people want from me?" he said the best Blogs are always a mustardy colour , like baby shit.

Now little Timmy will you be using yer real name? a fake real name? or will you blog as a Lemur or something?

Those that use their real or fake real names feel restricted and often wish they had used something more interesting when they can see the kind of shit I can get away with. Also its easier to find them if they piss you off.

If you choose an animal or old semen persona chose well, if you are a sly Komodo Dragon type person who will bite its victim and let them escape to bleed to death rather than face them head on then don't go picking a noble Lion or something, as Hemingway may have said, "write what you know."

The best way to get noticed is say in yer profile yer a young hot gurl and have an avatar to match, why do those profiles get more hits than mine?

The first few posts may not get any attention so do what Bloggers who are afraid of rejection do and make up some commenters, what you don't think they sit around and have conversations with themselves? I myself have no commenters, they are all made up by me, fuck I'm clever.

Another old trick is to leave yer post up for a while to get more comments, I myself don't give a shit as I post every other hour, for a true Blogger its all about the post.

If in doubt just post a picture like this. I could have the best post ever and follow it with this picture and I'd get zero comments on the post and 25 on this picture.

In Blogger McGee's post "The politics of Blogging and why I don't care." He mentions that you should at least comment on 25 Blogs a day to get attention, this may smack of desperation but if you weren't a damaged, needy person with low esteem you wouldn't be a Blogger then .

Blogger McGee faced the great Flame war of 98 so you could Blog freely, he faced insulting comments about his third nipple that weeps puss and spamming comments calling him rude and hurtful names such as beardy .

The way he sorted them out was he grabbed the spammers by the snouts, shook them while firmly shouting ,"no!" that worked for a while then he had to get the rolled up newspaper and put his comments on moderation, oh and he tracked them doon and had the spammer's families killed and cut the spammers hands off to turn into ashtrays, he never had any spam problems after that.

Blogger McGee, don't make him angry, you wouldn't like him when hes angry.

Fan e-mails are something Old Knudsen has had more off than spam, men and weemen throwing their virtual panties at him, not to mention being feautured on various blogs, but don't worry little Timmy I doubt you'll have that kind of thing going on .

Remember there is a Blog etiquette to follow. Don't swear in comments unless the Blog writer swears, its for comments not yer life story, don't complain about boring posts, you aren't fucking paying so fuck off and always reply to a new commenter and try to respond to all yer comments, even the ::::smile::::: and "me too" ones and never comment "me too" thats just plain cunty. The delete button isn't for decoration, never mind free speech crap would you give neo Nazis free speech? you think about that.

Its yer Blog to do with what you want, post dead puppies I don't care if you post live kittens, puppies and babies you must die you boring git , if you post spice racks and Tiffany lamps then yer just ghey admit it.

Now lets see how Little Timmy's Blog turned out TIMMY'S BLOG

Top 'O' The Mornin.

Some of my cuntrymen who want to bridge the North/South divide.

I would just like to thank all the people that voted for me because if there wasn't readers then there wouldn't be Blogs. I accept these awards graciously and will set them beside the pictures of the Queen and the Reverend Ian Paisley . Oh sorry just practicing. It seems some kind soul entered me into the Irish Blog Awards, if you read the about me on the right you can see that I obviously qualify though I'm no Bog trotter. I wish all my fellow Bloggers the best of luck but if you want to forgo luck for excellence and quality you can use the links to vote for me below .

Irish Blog Awards


Here's what I'm nominated for, and the categories.Best Blog Post -- Old Bitter Balls, Keeling Time http://oldbitterballs.blogspot.com/2006/10/keeling-time.html

Most Humorous Post -- Old Bitter Balls, Or Was This Just A Dream? http://oldbitterballs.blogspot.com/2006/09/or-was-this-just-dream.html

No pressure to vote for me but if you don't I'll chase ya doon and cut ya.