Eight Inches Of Arm Loving

The Amazon penis snake, no you can't get one on Amazon, it's a rare limbless amphibian.  

This post is about the trouser snake, the one eyed monster, the tramp killer, the hot pocket, the cyclops or wiener. What ever yer name for is (my ex used to call mine The Grudge) the penis is an amazing thing but now kids are all into their Ibox or Wii and Kleenex sales have drooped .

 

Poor Mohammed Abad, aged 43 was pushed in front of a car when he was 6 years old, it dragged him and tore off his penis .... men across the werld just winced and crossed their legs reading that. The virgin under went 100 operations and now has an 8 inch penis that werks by pushing a button on his scrotum AND YOU PAID FOR HIS MUSLIM COCK! .... Sorry, I went all Daily Express for a moment. It fills up with sexy stomach fluids and goes down when he pushes another button.  The batteries go up his arse and he has a special hat with a solar panel that plugs into his balls to recharge when he is out and about. 

Yeah I might have exaggerated about the batteries and solar panel. People I meet in real life often say I exaggerate and don't look like a young Kirk Douglas at all but that is their issues talking.   

Mohammed's wand was grafted from the skin of his arm, you see a chubby middle aged fella but if he wasn't so fat his dick wouldn't be 8 inches..... well played sir, you ate all the pies and now weemen are probably throwing themselves at you. Or not. 

Many of my readers are saying, "fucks sake, how does he get to have a bigger cock than me?" Well look at him, it's like a consolation prize. My readers are well endowed with good looks and intelligence, sure yer drug use has fucked up yer lives and yer teeth but still, having a huge dick can be a curse, the amount of times my dick has fallen out just when some young ladies walk by and then they accuse me of playing with myself because it's a struggle to get it back in.... Aye, the courts know me well. 

 It was cold that day. 

So Mohammed is making sure that ALL the news outlets know he has an 8 inch wab .... he lives in Edinburgh ladies and Scotland is full of dicks I'll have you know. Just let him have a go at ye for fucks sake, he's had a hard (or un-hard) life.

He certainly went to a lot of trouble if this is just a ploy to get his hole .... you have to respect that. Has he never heard of Rohypnol?  

Less than 0.1% (one in 1,000) of men have dicks 8 inch and over and are freaks of evolution and need to be killed with fire .... except for Old Knudsen who is massive online. 

 Ya wanna see something strange? 

 

If you've ever gotten a tattoo you might have noticed it hurts, don't listen to those guys who say, "It doesn't hurt" they have too much to prove and probably don't have space on their dick for a tat. Sometimes Old Knudsen just asks, "why you do that?" 

You can tell that these two straight men have been to prison.  

One rule Old Knudsen has concerns his willy and sharp or pointy things going near it. Do boils really need to be lanced? 

I also think that God gave us ears so we wouldn't do stupid things like this ... How does he shave it? 

This is werld cock appreciation day, take it out somewhere nice like Tesco or WalMart and stand proud because there are those like Mohammed, weemen or politicians that don't have a todger, wang or WMD, pity them.