Your Child Is Ugly

Is yer child ugly? Do they have a face that only a mother could love? Fact is that 95% of those cute babies you see on social media grow up to be ugly wee shites, look what the royal babies turn into.

Even ugly children get stolen or sold to the Arabs and no one cares. Protect yer ugly wee fucker by dressing them up in Old Knudsen's Cecil safe suit.

Normal cases of child crime only gets a blurb unless yer child is white and cute but with the Cecil safe suit yer child will be in the public eye for weeks afterwards. There might even be street protests and petitions. No one likes an ugly child but everyone loves a lion .... yer kids will thank you.

Only 5 easy payments of £29.99 .... Call now while stocks last. Every order you place helps a poor starving child in Cambodia who get paid 20p a suit so call now!