Remember back in the day when you'd have to carve turnips for Halloween lanterns because thats what we did in yon olden days before pumpkins made their way from across the pond to be sold in the shops.
Ever carved a turnip? its hard work. Like harder potato inside. The smell of them was bad enough but when yer a young-un yer Ma would then use the turnip innards for yer dinner.
Turnip tastes disgusting! Its animal food for fucks sake. Ways to make kids hate times that should be fun, like getting Brussel sprouts every Christmas dinner.
Yay its Halloween! ...... oh shit, that means turnip for dinner.
I don't want to hear a word about, 'oh no Halloween is so American now' you don't work up a sweat carving pumpkins so shut the fuck up!
You can't do all those designs on a turnip. While pumpkins may not be olde ways religion shit they certainly look better and us older folk don't associate them with horrible meals being forced on you.
Dead people think turnips look shite anyway so get a pumpkin and appreciate international transport.
