I Got A Loan From The Spank Bank.

If I don't get awards for this post then there is no justice in the world.

* I'm not one for the objectification of weemen* (even though the japs all look the same to me and not really people, ask a POW) but really if yer going to get yer picture taken get out of bed and put on some matching unmentionables that I won't even mention.

Does beauty fade? is it in the eye of William Holden? if its skin deep then theres a lot of hot fat people out there and we don't even know it.

I don't put the words "young" and "hot" together I put the words "young" and "stupid" together.

She just happens to be young and hot, leave the poor gurl alone.

Beauty doesn't fade it just changes, it can always be there in some form even if the physical form of it has given up years ago. Go to the plastic surgeon and get yerself airbrushed or go find some deeper meaning to yer existence than just being a human ornament.

I like beautiful people but just to look at as the courts deemed it not suitable for me to touch them anymore. Usually they are boring as fuck so just sit there and look good, who laughed when they first heard David Beckham squeak, er I mean speak? ha! there is a God.

He reminds me of a ghey Christian Bale type whose balls haven't dropped yet.

Helen Keller who was that chick that bent the spoons once said:

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart.

I have no idea what she was on when she said that but hearts don't give me the horn. Only a cardiologist would tug the lad or double click her mouse to "Heart transplant monthly" as would a Proctologist get off to "Bungholes digest." Never mind ear, nose and throat, I'd be a "tits and ass" Doctor.

The paediatrician is ready, fucking pedos.

I've heard the brain is the largest sex organ, well that explains psychiatrists those sick fuckers and their brain bukkake films , does that mean people with smarts are better in bed? as Padma Lakshmi and sir Salman Rushdie are getting divorced ya both aren't so clever now (Padma call me)

Two very intelligent people, one is however vastly better looking than the other. I'll leave that determination to you, its just a matter of perspective.

I'd rather be dumb with a big dick and great technique than over educated with a cocktail sausage between my legs and know that the Magna Carter isn't a bloody Michael Caine film but not know that the Willy goes into the Wendy (well most times it does)

I'm happy being intelligent (compared to what?) and having a huge penis but its a cross to bear, you give yer lady friend 10 orgasms every night for a year and one night you only give her 5 (due to having a wank earlier in the day because sometimes you just have to) and she thinks you don't love her any more or have lost yer edge. Yer only as good as yer last multiple orgasm. I'm sure you all have been there or know someone that has a friend who has been there, well you know me but don't go thinking I'm yer friend ya cunts.

The sweeping statement used by ugly weemen is that "pretty gurls can't fuck" I suggest you take this challenge pretty gurls of the world and shag me at once but who am I to judge? as I have been asked many a time, oh yeah I'm a "Judge" I became one via the Interweb and I won't charge ya for the pleasure.

Can you spot what shes doing wrong? god love her I had to spend hours with her just teaching her how to shower, I'm like the horse whisperer for bimbos. Now if I could only get her potty trained, I don't mine it on my chest but sometimes I fall asleep and wake up with what looks like an assplosion in a fudge factory.

*maybe I am, objectification and self-gratification go hand in hand or is it hand over fist?*