Monday, 25 June 2007

Peanuts and Caramel.

Police suspect he might be a fucking nutter.


Bonney Eberndu, 36, of no fixed address, was arrested at Camberwell Green bus garage, in south-east London, the charge, shitting in trains and not doon the toilets, they caught him on the CCTV doing his big jobs 22 times over the last three months, he caused more than £20,000 worth of damage and earned the name "The Gravy Train Bandit" due to the consistency of his poo they could tell he was a big 'Snickers' fan (formerly called Marathon) as it looked like peanut soup and staked out sweet shops near the train stations .

When asked if he was responsible for these mindless acts of pooism he said, "I think I make a stinky."
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I can't be arsed today so instead I'm off to look at yer Blogs and leave insulting comments, if I don't then that means,1) yer post was shite, 2) you posted a Youtube or a meme *donc* shite,3) I don't like you,4) I couldn't think of anything to say about yer cute kitten/baby which was really fucking hideous,5) the nazis got me,6) I gave up,7) there is no 7, 8) I'm too busy laughing at yer pathetic life,9) I have a crush on you and I'm shy, 10) just fuck off.
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*silly French word for 'therefore', I like it.*

19 comments:

Old Knudsen said...

What has a hazel nut in every bite?.............Squirrel shite.

tony said...

Life is a Marathon not a Sprint (unless you live in West Yorkshire were ,for some daft reason, the trains are caleed "Sprites"............)

Old Knudsen said...

Hows the swimming in Yorkshire? nice weather for ducks.

ellie said...

Damn you for your comment I wanted to believe you had a crush on me!

I need chocolate to help me through the depression and the only confectionary I have is a multipack of snickers!

Tickersoid said...

I have an unrequited crush on you.

Anonymous said...

Laughing my arse off at your italics section. Too funny.

Something for old K to look into - a british judge giving a sentence of 2 years to a 24 year old for raping a 10 year old. Apparently he thought it was the girls fault.
Happening in London presently. Can't give you any more details as they are moving the boat off the beach on this side of the world and our news reports are half arsed anyway.

Annie said...

Hi Knudsen. I left this on an old post of yours by mistake yesterday...

"The McCanns are also considering releasing a cover version of the Bryan Adams' song Everything I Do, I Do It For You, in an effort to raise more money for their campaign."

From the BBC so it must be true.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6229150.stm

I thought you might be interested.

Ms. Kimba said...

Why is my Uncle Bonney always picked on? He canna help he's got a liking for things with nuts! Little boys being one of them.

jungle jane said...

My word. Humans can breed with a hippo...

Metody Jankowiak said...

So you... and I? Me with you, well I'm flattered. I feel as if I should repay the compliment... you have eyes like a tiger, blue like sapphires and teeth like bananas, not those black ones from the market, more like the nice ones at Marks & Spenser's, and not the Fare Trade rubbish the hippys buy. Sex with you...? It would be an honour.

Flirty Something said...

In a zoo he can crap anywhere and do clever impressions of a hippo - problem solved.

Old Knudsen said...

ellie enjoy the peanut soup.

tickersoid lets keep it that way shall we?

kate isis A judge Pickles used to say "she was asking for it" when it came to rape cases, I don't like judges.

annie rhiannon thanks for the tip I did get it and posted on fake old man balls about it, giving you credit of course.

Mrs CeCrux Is it true he went to a shop because he heard all boys trousers were half off?

jungle jane you should have seen my 8th wife.

a husseyyou've got the wrong idea, I gave up.

flirty we should be allowed to shit anywhere as part of our basic freedom, I blame Gordon Brown and his master George Bush.

savannah said...

you could just not post, sugar...take a break..play with yourself..some more

Old Knudsen said...

portia maybe it was a social statement or rewarding you for unreasonable over draft charges.

savannah Those who don't post are weak, get thee behind me Satan. Instead of posting 12 times I've only done it twice, its like a nice break for me.

savannah said...

*not saying what i'm thinking*

ok, sugar...that's grand! brilliant in fact!

Manuel said...

Ironically I have nothing to add...

Anonymous said...

In your best John Wayne voice, "Well, pilgrim, you can eat the peanuts out of my shit!"

I f-ing love that picture...Reminds me of myself before I got my grill fixed.

Oliver Gosling said...

Those photos are fake you twat

Old Knudsen said...

savannah I'm glad you didn't say what you think, my blog is no place for smut.

manuel go on squeeze something out.

fat thomas you're idea a most handsome fella, well I'm sure yer ma thinks so at least.

jenny so are most of the tits I wank off too.