Thursday, 13 August 2015

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

We all know that yer personal details are not safe online, Facebook, Twatter and loserville Google plus all sell yer shit. What you don't know is how much they get for yer phone number, work details and who you are connected to.

Obviously the more attractive you are the more yer details will go for. For tax purposes (in other words they don't want to pay tax) all amounts are in dollars. Tracy's details will cost a tidy $500, that includes all the stuff in the 'About me' section that she hasn't made public, all her photos and messages.
I have bought many personal details for my private files.

Social media encourages its users to be the best and have better more interesting lives than yer friends which means that only the best photos are used and quite often ones from 10 years ago but who cares as long as organizations will pay for them. Pictures of you with a celeb are like gold.

It's not just governments and insurance companies that want yer details, a shadow organization only known as The Mystery Shoppers buy yer details and track you through life in order to help you spend and consume. All yer LIKES, SHARES, RETWATS and SEARCHES are logged and assessed. Even yer TV is in on the act.
Ever have a friend go on about seeing an Anusol commercial like 20 times a day or that, "when I was diagnosed with genital herpes, I was devastated" commercial? You might say, "I've seen them a couple of times, not that many." That's because yer friend Googles for assfuck videos and info on herpes flair ups.

Last year the secret companies got into a bidding war for this ugly wee fucker's photo, it sold for $865 and has been used on over 738 memes. For people like Mark Zuckerberg it's handy that people are cunts. Who hasn't bought a kitten just for loads of cute kitty pics then tossed the creature into a river when it got older? .... don't deny it, you'd have 100 cats in yer hoose going by all the different kittens you've had, even crazy cat ladies don't hate themselves enough for that many cats. A cute kitten pic can reach $25 - $50 on the cat market, that's why Zuckerberg is rich.

Those make up free selfies that had us men demanding you make the effort was actually started by a social media think tank of behavioral experts in order to not only sell yer pics but to sell you make up too. Sure about $125 was raised for charity by the people who posted a selfie and actually donated because most people forgot about the donation part cos they were too traumatized by their selfie and getting the right amount of blur or the right filter for it to hide their natural 'ugness' .... You were here for the creation of that werd not to be confused with uggness as in ugly ass boots an shit.    

Duck face was started by the think tank too which as a way to encourage more photos to be taken. At first duck face pics were being sold for $60 but within a week the trend got so lame they only get $1.50 if lucky. People who do duck face now often get a media backlash or their accounts suspended or transferred to MySpace.

Sparrow face is where the money is at with Facebook and Twatter selling yer pics for up to $80 depending on how startled you look.

Yer life is being manipulated and sold but who cares if it wastes 6 hours of yer day? .... oh kitty. 



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