Yes ISIS Really Are That Stupid

If they are so righteous then why do they hide their faces?

ISIS are such fucking morons that a fatwa has been issued on them by several Muslim clerics in the UK who said that ISIS are“heretical” and “an oppressive and tyrannical group” .... The edict was issued by Sheik Usama Hasan, a former imam from east London. He says that they may use social media as a weapon but still have medieval thinking.
ISIS have been issuing pictures of dead Jihadis with smiles on their faces saying that they are so righteous that their bodies don't decay and their blood smells like perfume, even after 10 days ..... yeah right.

Hasan was able to call bullshit as he himself had gone Jihad as a young man 25 years ago in Afghanistan and they were saying things like that then which he saw and smelled as not being true. As usual the Jihadis have gotten their Islamic faith wrong and the blood is supposed to smell like musk after they go to Heaven ... DOH! 

The guy on the left has similar eyes and voice to the Brit doing the be-headings. 

The Muslim Brotherhood have said that it's ok for men to go anal jihad on each other if their are no weemen for them, why don't they have a go at their dead comrades if they smell so sweet.

Well said Mr Sotloff.

American journalist Steven Sotloff was murdered by ISIS as promised after they had killed James Foley. A British hostage is said to be next unless we stop setting the drones onto them. We need to do a lot more than that to these cunts. 

Stolen childhoods.

ISIS are already looking to the future and have been stealing children from villages and taking them to training camps where they force their incorrect and misinterpreted brand of Islam doon their throats that they learned from 'Islam for dummies' or some shite. 

They teach the children to recite scripture and all the right answers .... a little like what the Jehovah witnesses do except with added AK-47 training too. They also make the children watch executions, floggings and the stoning of weemen to get them used to such violence. Look at what cunts our normal children are thanks to movie and video game violence, these kids will grow up and will kill the Kafirs (that's us) with so much ease. 

So child abuse all round. Who is surprised that ISIS, Hamas and all the others are child abusing cunts?  Then you have hipster cunts like Kony who have been doing it before it became popular.  

Aye Puff Baghdaddy yer such a big man, if Old Knudsen ever sees you in the street you'll feel his fist of steel justice on the back of yer head .... he'll give you a fisting that you'll never forget. 

Aliaa Magda Elmahdy on the left.

My new personal hero is a young Egyptian lass who has shown more bravery than many a battle worn vet. Aliaa Magda Elmahdy said fuck you to the oppressive society she lived in in Egypt, she suffered domestic abuse from her father when she refused to wear the head scarf and questioned his fundamentalist beliefs. As he couldn't control her (which looked bad) he put her into an insane asylum where she was given electric shock treatment, she pretended to give in so she could get out and now she lives in exile in Sweden. 

She joined Femen to continue to fight against injustice and sexism and writes blogs too . She gets constant threats of death and rape but keeps on standing up to them and encouraging others to do so by getting their stories out there ....  And she gets her kit off.

Old Knudsen remembers his days as a young gurl growing up in the mountainous region of Sharistan and having to hide his first menstruation .... those were tough days. They only got worse when he was sold into marriage to a old goat farmer.

ISIS' favourite goat. 

Aliaa Magda Elmahdy about her fleg picture, "And whilst I am of the mindset that many fundamentalist Islamic men like to cover their women with as many layers as possible to minimize their very existence, this kind of protest on that issue may not be the best tactic right now with ISIS rising. Personally, I vote we skip the protesting and just kill ISIS – every last one of them and their favorite goat – no questions, no discussion."

Melissa Bachman Overkill

There is outrage at the moment about hunter/TV presenter Melissa Bachman shooting a lion. Old Knudsen isn't against hunting and has hunted in his time, however he is against doing it when you don't have to. Use a camera not a gun or bow for fucks sake.
Bored big game hunters or TV presenters, not a good enough reason to kill magnificent animals like these.
Some animals such as deer are breed for the specific reason to hunt but seriously, was the grocery stores out of food or did you have a craving?  

The funny thing is that no one said a thing about her killing bears, deers, gators a zebra, boars, antelope etc etc.

 Are lions just too cute to kill?

This cute lion killed a lioness in front of the public at a Dallas zoo, it's been a bad week for lions ... but ya can't trust the fuckers.

Maybe cos there were no tits in the other pictures. Here she is during her show putting a shout out to one of her sponsors that make bullets. Yep, thats gator brains all right.

Is there a law that you have to dress like a redneck skank to hunt gator? I suspect from the crowd of hungry swamp rats that she was also hunting for something else.

"Three bucks in one day" .... Now she sounds like yer Ma, and shes gagging for more.  

Montana is 20 bucks and a doh! short thanks to her. Not all were shown on the TV .... boy she must really like venison.

Rule # 143 Always believe what you read on T-shirts, Facebook and Blogs.

"Hahahaha did you see my arrow going through the bear's neck and sticking out of it's other shoulder? I'm very pleased with that .... it made me moist." 

 Look how big he is, Isn't he gorgeous?

I really dislike how giddy she gets when she kills something. Maybe it's because Old Knudsen has mellowed the fuck out with age but he'd rather let an animal live than end it's life for TV ratings or ego.
She claims to be an animal lover but aren't we all?  I mean who doesn't like KFC?

The animals she kills, if they are big they get called a monster but I don't see them terrorising a village or killing livestock.

Some of these monsters run off once she shoots them with an arrow and she has to follow the blood trail .
She says she likes deer meat ..... she should shop at Marks & Spencers, their prices are extortionate and they aren't that special. Don't get me started on people who use an M&S carrier bag when they go to other shops thinking they are all posh, you aren't posh yer sad.

  

The ultimate prey

Old Knudsen's view on killing. Animals do what they do and if there is no good reason to kill them then leave them alone .... Humans on the other hand are allegedly capable of higher reasoning and know who the choices they make effect. Some people really do need a good killing because of their actions. I can justify killing a terrorist or a pedo and would not lose any sleep over it.

Ach shes just making a living doing what she loves to do, killing animals. Some dig ditches others repair cars and she kills animals and shows it to others...... Yeah it does sound bad, I'm sure shes a lovely, well adjusted lass, follow her on Facebook if you want, don't follow too close as she likes to kill within 20 yards and make sure yer doon wind or she'll smell yer Lynx/Axe body spray.   

    

Sexy Tesco

As you all know, Old Knudsen just finished his contract working on advertising with Tesco. I must say it was quite progressive going with me and it paid well even though they went with the more tame suggestions.

When you see their in-store advertisements I want you to think of Old Knudsen. If it was up to him you'd have signs that say suck my plums and deep throat a nan na bitch.

On the oranges the ideas I came up with were we oranges say fuck the pope but that was a little too political for Tesco but I don't know why they didn't use let the juice just splurt all over your face.

Old Knudsen isn't ghey or a yuppy and so doesn't eat fruit or veg unless you count chips and mixed pickles. He doesn't drink coffee either but did give Nescafé the slogan, flick yer bean for the perfect wake up which went with Nescafé instant flicked beans, ach yer bound to remember. 

I the 60's Heinz needed a slogan, I came up with Beanz Meanz yer slack fucking parents that can't be arsed to cook yer kids real meals but someone changed it to the slightly more catchier Beanz Meanz Heinz .... which wasn't too bad.

Playing With Fire

Loyalist culture is very important .... but only to Loyalists.

Loyalists are thick necked, tattooed, poorly educated common people who identify with the Protestant religion be they Christian or not.  Like supporting a football team, c'mon you Prods! They even have their own colours. 

Nothing says class like a neck tattoo. 

Fuck the teachings of Jesus these people get on more like Islamists, "I'll knock yer shite in if yer not a Protestant!" They follow the teachings of their housing estate, if yer not us then yer against us. Wot U lukin at?

Loyalist culture involves drinking and other activities in relation to drinking. It's so bad that every time there is a parade or event, it has to be posted that people 'not' drink alcohol at it because Loyalists are famous for not being able to handle their drink and will cause trouble, a bit like yon American injuns with their fire water.

Kind of embarrassing. A beer belly and double chin is seen as a status symbol and shows yer importance within the local housing estate tribe, on weemen it is seen as a sign of beauty and willingness to mate.... due to inbreeding, many Loyalists only have chins that are made of fat.

Do you know where yer children are? ... nah I don't give a fuck either.

Look how free we are, what other people let their children go to an area they don't own and let them set fire to it?
While Americans give guns to their kids you have to admit that 3rd degree burns are far more impressive than a sibling with their brains sprayed over the wall.

Two bullet headed Loyalist children show off their manners and shit stained fingers. Using each other as finger puppets is an important part of Loyalist history dating back to 1913.

Bonfire night in Northern Ireland Loyalist culture is the 11th July and in English Loyalist culture 5th November.
The English spoil their night by having small fires, only drinking enough to get stagger drunk and shoot off fireworks into the air.... fucking ghey. 
In Northern Ireland we take things more seriously. Fireworks are shot off but usually at each other or at pets or people's hooses, if fingers are lost then it was a good night. Our bonfires usually dwarf nearby buildings and as stagger drunk is normal everyday life for most Northern Ireland people they make sure they get, fighting, puking, falling, sexually abusing someone drunk .... just like their hero King William of Orange did in 1690 before he fell off his horse and died . If yer gonna have culture then do it right.

Recession is not a word that Loyalists understand, neither is education or work but thats besides the point.
Every year materials to burn are deposited usually by a roadside a couple of months before the 11th July. This pile of rubbish will grow and grow and often becomes a playground for Loyalist children.

In the Loyalist community children are not of value and so this is usually the only time in which they have toys in their lives. A broken pallet and 100 tyres can become a fort or potential death trap for their young, underdeveloped minds to create.

Every year councils spend around £173,224 on the clean up of bonfire sites and £80,000 is spent repairing roads that sustain fire damage ..... HAHAHAHA whoever it is that pays taxes is paying this, class or what? 

Beats paying for schools and hospitals... the government pays for those right?  

Not to mention the cost of policing hundreds of drunken teenagers and youths then there are the 800 plus call outs for the fire brigade ..... ain't no fucking recession here. Spending other people's money in the name of culture transcends recession.  

Old Knudsen has said that rapists, murderers and pedos in prison are a drain on society and should be executed, well Loyalists are just as bad ... but what they do is legal.

 A local wide bellied beauty flapping her bingo wings in a grotesque mating dance. Tracksuits are worn for easy access to genitals.

Northern Ireland may not be the home of the brave but it certainly is the land of the free .... handout.  

 

Its Christmas Time, Theres No Need To Be Afraid.

This is was my first mate from the good ship Red Rocket, my second mate was a lot more rugged.

Some ramblings I've prepared for Christmas day as visitors and the Queen's speech will keep me away from the computer for a number of hours today, why don't those people go away, what do they want of me? as I mentioned before I went to the pound shop and got some photo frames, and yes they were a pound, I love to play the old fool and ask how much things are, in fact I was the one that got the management in our local pound shop to put up signs saying, "no need to ask, everything costs a pound", the manageress is a small wee woman with a deformed leg, well I'm assuming its deformed or why would she walk like that all the time? I'd have a go at her, I don't give a fuck about her disability, I'm not shallow, its her arse I'm an admirer of, all that awkward walking has made it into a thing of beauty, see ? I am deep.
I photocopied pictures of myself, the very one on my avatar as I think I look sorta Burt Reynolds from Deliverance in it, 50p a copy at the library it cost and with the frames the whole thing cost £15.00, that's £5.00 more than I had expected, I don't even like the cunts I'm giving them to but you have to be polite, I mean some of them are family and you might want something from them later.
I did decide to sign the pictures by the way, it gives them a personal touch.

I was watching on the news the Christmasy stories they report on and one was about how a shop in Bethlehem, the birth place of our lord and savior Jesus H Christ, that made and sold Rosaries will soon be out of business, as for some reason the Christian tourists are no longer going there, in fact Christian tourist visits are just a tenth of what they were in recent years. Here is my final solution, stop bombing the shit out of the tourists, you can't expect their faith to be strong enough to get them to go, those types of Christain fanatics go over and stick their noses in and end up on hostage videos. Why the fuck would you buy a Rosary in Bethlehem? Jesus was a Protestant ya morons, well ok, its obvious that Mary was a catholic because shes in all the chapels, go to Rome for your Rosaries go to Israel for................. ok I have no idea why you would want to, well if their business fails they want to emigrate to America, Rosary making crazy fuckers, they'd fit in there alright, a load of nutters.

Speaking of nutters, Poland wants to name Jesus King and Mary (his mum) Queen, the country is 70% Catholic so to those silly bastards it makes sense, I feel it is my duty to inform them that both fictional characters of Jesus and Mary are well dead. I found this to be a problem when I tried to make Rapunzel with the long hair Queen of Scotland.

Happy Christmas to lovers of weemen.
I like weemen, I like their bouncy bits and the way our bodies interconnect, oh and child bearing hips, and if they can make a good cup of tea I'll even take em ugly.

Hey while we're on the subject of soap powders , do ya ever send something to your own e-mail box in order to use it later then about 5 minutes after sending it you look up and think "oh I wonder who sent me an e-mail" and then open it ? well if you do you're a dozy cunt cos I never do that. oh no not me.

Babsbitchin that terrible firebrand of a woman tagged me (in the arse) with 5 things people don't know about me, I thought I had covered it in my 101 things on fake old man balls but no so here we go.

1) Everytime I see a Geranium I rub a leaf and smell it, also Lavender and tomato plants but mostly Geranium.

2) Lesbians don't do much for me, seeing them make out is kind of boring. I don't know why guys are supposed to get all hot and bothered, or is it just the media that says we should?

3) My balls shrink up to nothing in cold weather and are sore even to the lightest touch so I try to never scratch them then.

4) When I read books or news papers, (old or new) I sniff the pages and sometimes lick them .

5) When I was a young man I had acne, I would fill the sink up with very cold water and submerge my face into it for as long as I could, it helped my acne and got my bangs the way I wanted them.


In turn the 5 people I tag are these 5 guys, if you don't do this then you are a scabby pus dripping cunt.


So enjoy yer Turkey, if you're a vegetarian, Buddhist , Hindu or all of the above get with the program, I am the way.

I write this part while totally drunk on the early hours of the 25th, to all my Scottish readers, well I love you all and hope you live for ever, to all my English, Welsh and Cornish Readers, um hello friends, to all my Ulster Scots friends keep looking up, to my Irish readers, stay away from the C4, to all my French, German,Italian , Austrailian, Slavic and south American readers stop searching for pedos you sick fuckers. To all my American readers, read me but don't believe me, to my Canadian readers, I love you both,to my New Zealand reader stay off the pot.
To all my readers and commenters, I wouldn't have continued on for so long if if wasn't for you, thankyou for validating my existence, please feel free to comment , e-mail or shout at yer VDU , you become my mates when I know you .

Happy Christmas to you one and all, oh and now you've read this fuck off.