Taken Movie To Be Shot In Belfast

Shakespeare isn't Shakespeare unless you spit on yer fellow actors.

Sir Kenneth Branagh was talking about how he wouldn't mind shooting a movie in Belfast because we have a flourishing movie industry here with tax breaks and who needs nice scenery when you have CGI right?

Game of Thrones, The Fall, Dracula untold and many more were made here. Branagh who got fame (or at least noticed) for his Billy plays trilogy set during the Northern Ireland Troubles and used the exterior streets scenes on the very streets that us Knudsen's lived on has done alright for himself.  

He directed Thor and didn't fuck it up so yeah I'll let him make a wee movie here but it isn't him that we really want it's Liam Neeson. Quit wasting time with Ballymena, yer flogging a dead sheep with that coke hole in the Bible belt.  

Do you know who has it? Is it the pikeys at number 27? 

We want a Taken movie shot here, not ghey Shakespeare shite. Wot an over rated writer he was. Shakespeare would fail in the cut throat werld of blogging today. 

Yes I know that blogging is so 10 years ago but do I care? My werds of wisdom and warnings about Lemurs will infect cyberspace for thousands of years, I am the Chernobyl of the Interwebs. Read me and feel yer mental health degrading as you become enlightened like wot I am. Sanity is for the weak, the universe thrives on chaos. Tune into the truth and wake up sheeple!

 I just got it because my old one had cracked and was meaning to put the numbers on it for fucks sake, just don't fill it without putting a wheelie bin liner in it ... please.

Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills, a former government operative ..... aye he werked as a health and safety inspector on the edge .... an unsafe edge that someone could trip on. 

After years of ensuring that paving was level and fire exits were clear he just wanted the quiet life in the BT 9 part of Belfast surrounded by middle and upper class professional types.  

He noticed his old wheelie bin had a crack down it, plastic degrades over time and this tends to happen. He had always been careful that no hot ashes were put in his bin and even had it sprayed out once a fortnight but still, bad things happen to good people. Crack is whack.

He paid for a replacement and gleefully filled it with trash, feeling young again enjoying that plastic out gassing smell, he could tell his new bin hadn't been in council storage for that long.

Though many flouted the law and put their bins out the night before, Mills and his H&S discipline always got up early to put his bin out at the proper time. 

How do they have 5 fucken bins? 

He surveyed the street, bins at kirbs but not blocking path access with the handles facing the road, how considerate. He smiled and put his bin out. Then he looked towards number 27. Five bins that were over flowing. That family had 6 children and loud parties that went on into the wee hours. He had often bought a burner phone to complain about them from a safe location. 

How the fuck do they get their bins emptied? Not being able to close the lids is in direct contradiction to the wheelie bin accord of 2004. Trouble making fuckers have the council turning a blind eye to them. 

He snapped a picture with his phone intent on writing a strongly worded e-mail later. This corruption will be dealt with.

Mills went to the Spring Continental Market at the city hall with a lady friend from his book club and enjoyed some Belgium chocolate and some pastries he didn't care for but ate them anyways. 

He picked up some stick on numbers at Poundland and headed home with a spring in his step. Yeah the bin men had been but where was his bin? He walked to a group of bins not yet taken in, he shook his head that the bin men would just leave a clutter of bins in one place rather than at the gates of each house but where was his? 

His trained H&S gaze saw a pothole in the road, a recycling box still left out since last week and did the curtains twitch at number 27? Those people didn't even have vertical blinds, who could live like that? 

Panic set in he couldn't even look into most of the gardens as they had high fences ... what could he do? 

I bet they knew it was him that called about their parties. He had stones thrown at his windows after telling one of their children to get out of his garden, was this revenge? 

 Many famous people have been conceived over a wheelie bin. Osama bin laden for example.

Now that's the kind of movie I would pay to go and see. I hope Neeson or some Hollywood (not Holywood county Down) director is reading this. I could knock up a screenplay in about a day .... since screenplays aren't real writing, lets all just admit that to ourselves. 

You could call it Taken: So it was or Taken: For fecks sake. 

You could go for the whole environmental angle and make it a recycling bin. I see car chases, explosions and the real issues that effect our everyday life ..... exploding wheelie bin chases, I think I just got hard. 

Lets crowd fund it, I have a particular skill set so send me money .... and titty pics of course, duh!     

 

Neeson Opens Fire On Gun Violence

When actors go off script you suddenly remember that they are people just like you and me ... well more like you than me cos yer a cunt while I'm fucking gleaming.

Liam Neeson, or Lame to his friends was asked a question in relation to the Charlie Hebdo shootings in Paris. He replied by saying, "There's just too many... guns out there"  yes Lame there are, also too many Pokemon, how is anyone ever expected to catch them all?

"I think the population is like, 320 million? There's over 300 million guns. Privately owned, in America. I think it's a disgrace. Every week now we're picking up a newspaper and seeing, 'Yet another few kids have been killed in schools' then talking about his Taken 3 character "A character like Bryan Mills going out with guns and taking revenge: it's fantasy." 

Well except when people actually do go out with guns to take revenge.

I have no idea why he started ranting on about the US when asked about Charlie Hebdo, from Ballymena ya know so not too bright, maybe high on the drugs. He isn't the first actor to make their millions blowing away bad guys on screen and then complain about gun violence.
Taken 1, 2 and 3, The A-Team, Non-Stop, A walk among the tombstones all have him totting a gun while others like Krull, Excalibur, Gangs of New York, Kingdom of Heaven, Rob Roy, Star Wars and Batman mostly contained hacking, slashing and stabbing violence which is more acceptable to liberal audiences.   

Yes it is a shame when you read about a school shooting, it makes you angry enough to kill the shooter if they are still alive .... of course I'd kill them with a hammer, knife or car as gun violence is wrong.

PARA USA who worked with Neeson on Taken 3 say they regret having worked with him and urge companies to cut ties with the Taken franchise .... I guess their cheque has cleared so they can say whatever they want as I doubt there will be another Taken movie.

Well you just never know. In Die Hard 5 John McClane was reunited with his son who was all grown up, maybe Neeson's character will have a son from a previous marriage who likes to shoot and beat people up like John McClane's son did ..... the family business.    

Never mind how many guns are in the US, just say yer fucking lines and shoot the bad guy, yer 62 it's a bit late to get a real job.
Blame the English, if they hadn't have been such cunts then the Americans wouldn't have written the right to bear arms into a part of their law.

Taken By Fear

Liam Neeson recently told of how a teacher from Texas wanted to take some students to Europe but  the parents said no because they had seen Neeson's movie Taken 2.

Well it is Texas, what can you do?

I know that Neeson can only do one accent and that's a Ballymena one but he's a very powerful actor ..... especially around the eyes. After watching him in The Grey I was nervous about strapping mini broken bottles to my hands and fighting wolves .... aye sure I've done it hundreds of times but now I was *ascared*. After the movie Jaws I never swam in the sea, that was mostly doon to the temperature of the water and the amount of raw sewage I could imagine being in it though.

Irrational fear is for the weak and kinda scares me a little.
 

Thanks to Neeson's movie Non stop, Snakes on a plane and Castaway I now have a fear of door handles, don't mock my fear you never know what that person touched right before they opened that door. I don't know what they have to do with those movies, don't ask stupid questions it's irrational fear, that means back to rations just like the war ... don't mention the war it was hell.

 
Yes I have seen yon movie Fury set in World War II and now I have a fear of Shia LaBeouf, thanks for bringing that up by the way, me therapist will be wanting to have some words with you. Look at him method acting his liddle heart out ... STOP IT!!!   

Do actors and film makers not know the power they have? Do they not have a responsibility to society?

After seeing Tom Hardy's todger and saggy balls flying around as he got naked and attacked his prison wardens in Bronson I developed a fear of going back to prison. I had this cunning plan to go and find all the old bodies, dress them up in silver suits and blast them off into space and if anyone ever found them they might think they were from the future.

Aye me plan did have one or two problem areas. Turns out that going back to prison wasn't that scary. The shower gang rape was how I remembered it, like drinking petrol, after the first few you don't notice the others. I do miss being able to fart though.

Wow, that post escalated quickly.

It's ok to come to Europe .... yeah maybe not ones from Texas, Florida or Arizona, you stay away. We are a friendly bunch, sure we might judge yer horrible fashions .... fanny packs? aye we call them bum bags and it's not against the law to hang those people who wear them.

You won't get kidnapped, the last thing a European wants is to be stuck with a mouthy American telling them how small and quaint everything is ... We aren't fucking stupid, we know that means yer cuntry is a dump that needs knocked doon and modernized. Indoor toilets indeed, the world is our toilet!   

With no guns all you have to worry about are criminals with knives and hammers, the police won't help you as they do not like to get involved so it's best if you know an ex-CIA operative, from Ballymena.

Europe has a lot to offer visitors from the States ..... um, we have old stuff. Even our modern stuff looks old. You also won't have a clue when yer being insulted cos you'll be too busy admiring our accents that you can't understand.

Don't believe everything you see in the movies. I know that when an alien invasion movie comes out that uses real places all the Americans look out the window or check the news just in case. The Bible also did that trick .... clever huh?

Sam went to Ballymena to admire the sheep .... I'm just fucking with you, sure there are sheep in Ballymena and they may be very attractive but Sam didn't exist though some other Sam may have lived in Ballymena at some time. Oh my hed is sore now, what is real?  

Don't let fear rule yer life, it's always a Brit that ends up being caught in a hostage situation or 192 people died in a plane crash, one Briton was aboard, we even claim the Irish when a Brit isn't available.

Shit, I really do need to worry then. Aw fuck it, I'm from Ballymena hey.




*Don't bend my shite it's a real fucking werd* 

 

Non-Stop Stupid

Liam Neeson is probably the best export that Northern Ireland has ever had. Unlike the Titanic he hasn't sunk (to be fair it was an Englishman driving it) and unlike our sports stars like George Best and Hurricane Higgins he didn't end up a junkie alcoholic that shone for 15 minutes before ruining everything.
I'd mention Rory McIlroy but his success is still to be seen, anyone can have a few good golf games and then just fail .... eh Tiger?

Neeson seems to be a nice fella, he hasn't been found to be a rapist or pedo yet and the poor man lost his wife so we're inclined to like him. Though like every other successful person here he did fuck off to live elsewhere but he has returned and now promotes Northern Ireland as a tourist destination, "Northern Ireland, come visit on your way to somewhere nice."  

I think he has come to realise that he isn't the world's greatest of actors and even though he's getting on a bit they'll still pay him a shitload to star in films. The movie roles he chooses seem to be tough action roles that don't require too much thinking from the audience.

Most of his movies now look like they are a part of the Taken franchise. Look frantic on the phone and then some close quarter fighting before almost emotionally falling apart but not quite because his acting range doesn't cover full retard.  

I just watched Non-stop, if Taken 1,2 and 3 are yer kind of movie then watch this. It is also similar to his flick Unknown in which you have to figure out who the enemy is. Old Knudsen likes and dislikes this kind of film because of me natural paranoia I'm shouting at the telly accusing everyone. I guessed wrong but I wasn't really trying .... I was distracted by his powerful performance eerily similar to all his others.  
 

The usually iconic imagery of the slow-mo shoot out is used.

An alcoholic paranoid man from Northern Ireland gets onto a plane .....  that's enough about me. Liam Neeson gets on too, he's an alcoholic Air Marshal born in Belfast. So far it's believable, just ignore the fact that he's 62. They always die the hair of the older leading men like Perice Brosnan and Roger Moore to make them look, not younger but like old men with died hair.     

Some one sends him texts saying they will kill people on board unless money gets put into their account.
Neeson's character Bill is grieving the loss of his daughter who died from leukemia, he's drinking too much and doesn't give a fuck. He's the perfect patsy to blame an air hi-jack on. I lost count of how many times he was relieved of duty from a superior on the ground but this is Liam fucking Neeson, he'll smoke in the plane's toilet and he'll duct tape who the fuck he wants to.    

While he's trying to control the situation in the plane and find the bad guy or girls, Fox news like channels are making him out to be a psycho nut job, even complaining that he isn't US born but is allowed to have a gun and badge on a plane .... He's from Northern Ireland, he might even be in the IRA says one.

Except the IRA don't have the balls for such a thing, they hide in the shadows and try to blow people up while at a safe distance. Stoopid America panic news.... oh and Obama wants yer guns and to give illegal immigrants benefits and citizenship, especially Muslims . 

Why did I do a post about Liam Neeson? because I'm trying to cope with a lot of stupid online. I can't even go onto Facebook without having my daily dose of stupid givin to me within the first 5 minutes.

Do these people who talk about revolution just like Timothy McVeigh and the Vegas shooters did really need to have guns? Why can't the Fox news Duck dynasty loving morons see that their ideals are shared by scumbag murderers?

People who agree with Sheriff Joe Arpaio .... AND IN CAPS TOO! Have to have mental illness issues, they also no doubt think that Donald Trump is a sane intelligent person too. Yes lets listen to one of the most self entitled racist bigots there are, I bet he knows what he's talking about.

The Mexican border is a fucking war zone that makes Afghanistan look like a holiday in the sun. The military and the police are too shit scared to go near it. Who would clean up the mess they'd make in their shorts?

"It's easier to hate people for what they are than actually address and fix the problems in life."  ~ Old Knudsen.
Yes the Israelis are killing innocent people quit yer crying, I don't see you so outraged at the hundred other atrocities happening this week. People ignoring education and healthcare needs but focusing on the 2nd amendment, immigrants, parading or idiot soccer .... oh look a video on animal torture, I'll never eat chicken ever again but if I LIKE this status update I can stop child soldiers in Africa.

Did we ever bring our gurls home? oh that's right, everyone lost interest.  

 David Icke's name in the corner should clue you into the crazy.

This is one of the latest that I hate. An F-35 costs $122 million, $98 million for a cheaper Hornet so I'm wondering where the $600,000 figure came from and the same people that post shit like this constantly complain about welfare entitlement so make up yer minds.

 Another version.

I know a nice cuntry called Saudi Arabia who'll buy it if yer interested, since arms dealing is perfectly acceptable now.  Is this just one $600,000 house for all the homeless? that's Hilary Clinton dead broke homeless yer talking.

Why not just give jets to the homeless? Obviously since they are refusing to go to the welfare office for help because of their mental issues or addiction issues give them all a jet and watch their faces light up as they light up the town with rockets. 

See what I mean about stupid? Lets sell guns (maybe to Mexico) for cancer research.


Hence my Liam Neeson post. I can't punch these people in the throat and they'll never see sense so I'll post about good working class movies for people who like a drink and to fantasize about being a hero.

I don't want to spoil the movie too much but it's Old Knudsen who is the movie's bad guy .... well I see my character as a patriot and the good guy. Like many patriots before me I believe in blowing innocent people up and killing them for my cause.   

Neeson can kill people, survive a plane crash, get over losing his child, save the day and still have time for a little romance.
If you ever lose someone, kill some people on a passenger airliner to help you move on ... oh and it makes you horny too.

Go on ye boy ye!