Trump's Trip Is So Real

Melania was up in Trump Tower, she had just finished breast feeding Barron again when she got the news that she was going on her estranged husband's first foreign visit.

Not happy with the news she had the staffer that delivered the bad tidings thrown out the Moon door or 'made to fly' as Barron likes to say. Melnia doesn't like to leave Trump Tower nor does she like to spend time with Donald.

Mr Trump was very excited that he called a press gaggle on Air Force One to talk about the trip. Fox News, Breitbart News, Stormfront, Nazi News Weekly, Kremlin News and the blog A Busy Mom all waited patiently. 
Other news outlets must have lost their invites or something. 

He said it would be the best trip EVER, better than any other President has done. He'll visit the Middle East AND also Israel . Then he'd go to the Vatican for some decorating tips. No one has ever gone on such a trip.

He gave a teaser of the speech he'll give to all these places, "Islamist Islamic terrorists must be driven out, Iran is bad, nobody likes Iran they fund terrorists and sponsor run runners. Sad! "

He'll make a few changes depending on who he is giving the speech too, ya know, to keep it fresh. 

After his round of applause from the press he added: 

"I bring a new, fresh pair of eyes to these problems. No one has ever suggested that ISIS or Al-Qaeda should be attacked and made to leave ... no one in the history of humanity has ever said this."  

With 50 of his favorite peeps and more following he took to the skies. 

 Is that Comey? What a nut job

Over the Atlanta Trump had some agitation, he went without sleep cos he was too excited and was hopped up on sugar.

"Is anyone else seeing this, the guy outside the window ... no? I took my meds today I took them twice just in case I had forgotten the first time though I never forget anything, where are we going to? ... sit on my lap Ivanka and tell daddy what you want for Christmas."

Upon landing they were presented with bouquets of Kale. Trump was heard asking 'what the fuck is this?' before handing it to a staffer.  The Saudis did a Google search on what white people like and kale was number two, he was also given a nice woolly cardigan which is obviously number one.

Buttons, not zippers! .... this isn't the fucken future for fucks sake, what am I Buck Rodgers?

      
Later on he gave a speech about how the world would be better if not for crooked dishonest Iran ... lock it up! He was given some bling and named the Lion of the desert.

On condition that Syria, Yemen and possibly Iran get bombed as that is what a true lion would do ... or are you a turtle? A liddle scared turtle that can't bomb anyone.

While Trump was away Yemen did indeed get attacked killing 7 militants ... the military just didn't bother to mention if any civilian causalities died. You can't get upset if you don't know all the facts.
 

Then the traditional awkward silence while the Saudi First lady was .... um making the tea and kale sandwiches maybe?  To put Saudi women in their place the men always steal the best tea towels. Tillerson won the staring contest he was having by the way.

Melania went and did gurly stuff while the men told pussy jokes and waved swords. She spoke about how Saudi is a great place for empowering its women. Those two in black look empowered as fuck. Totally their choice to be ninjas.

Ivanka got Saudi Arabia to invest $100 million to her female empowerment fund. That will go towards makeup and new shoes for all the empowered ladies.  

The other women nodded and smiled and said, "we are very very happy please tell them we were good."  

Saudi Arabia is becoming very modern and progressive. Nowadays women can have up to 3 independent thoughts (within reason) a day without getting a man's permission. While not allowed to drive they have full freedom to travel with the proper permits and male supervision between certain hours of the day.   

Later Melania was allowed to watch from a respectful distance as Donald touched the orb of Arazeelon and pledged to destroy civilization and usher in a new era of greed and treachery.  

Trump signed a $110 billion arms deal and to get $350 bn over the next 10 years. David Cameron did a  £5.6bn deal in 2016 and Theresa May gave the go ahead for £3.3 billion in military sales at the end of last year but the Saudis say our stuff is shite and they want to look like John Wayne when they fight. 

The introduction of fracking to the world has changed the oil business so I guess weapons and war are the new product as Saudi Arabia doesn't have the hold and power it used to have. Nice to know they intend to be fighting over the next 10 years. 

In my day we expected to destroy the enemy by Christmas and not Christmas in 10 years time. No one fights to win anymore, they fight to supply products. 

Like Monsanto you buy the special seeds then the special feed then the special pesticide. US weapon systems are designed to be used only with US equipment. 

Also since Nam the smaller 5.56mm round have been used and is used now throughout NATO . The more powerful 7.62 rounds that most nations have stopped using may have been more lethal but now you have soldiers able to carry and use twice as many bullets. 
Killing an enemy with one bullet is bad for business, you kill them using lots of bullets or wound them and so have to give expensive medical care ... unless you are a Royal Marine cos then you kill captured wounded fighters.  

In 2011 the US were using so many bullets in Iraq and Afghanistan that they were running out and had to buy them off Israel ... remember that the US gives Israel billions each year in order to survive as a state so it's a big circle of consumerism life/death.      

Touching down in Israel the happy couple almost held hands. Donald saw Benjamin Netanyahu walking beside and holding hands with his wife so he reached behind him (Melania's place is 2 feet behind him) but Melania panicked and must have thought his hand was a tiny flapping mosquito and she swatted it away.

Trump gave his 'Iran is bad' speech and mistaking a conversation he was having in his head with a real one he blurted out that he didn't say Israel to the Russians as reported in the media ... except they didn't report that.

It's like those movies when the suspect says, "how could I have got to the far end of town, strangled her and got back before 10?"   and the cop says, "no one said she had been strangled."

Donald needed a time out and so went to the Western Wall. It's probably the only wall he'll be near to during his short presidency. He made history being the first President to visit the wall, all the others did the rounds as candidates or private citizens.

Being Jewish, in fact he's the most Jewish person ever apart from maybe Hitler he wrote his prayer on the back of his Electoral map making sure to mention the 140 million at his Inauguration.

Melania who was also very Jewish that day said a prayer. She was heard quietly chanting,  'God please make him die, please make him die' it isn't known who she meant, perhaps the leader of ISIS?

 
Flight risk Jared Kushner has been named as a 'person of interest' by the FBI over the Russia investigation. He refused to comment on this though Ivanka told media that Jared being an interesting person was one of the things she found attractive about him.

 
As the sun went down an old hag was seen at the wall cackling with glee. We don't know what she was doing there, probably witchcraft.

Some how Trump's prayer was leaked onto the Internet.

'Dear baby Jesus king of these Jews. Flynn is innocent but could you give him a heart attack. Also Melania as it would look bad if I divorced her. Can you make the dishonest media like me and stop asking me questions. Make the American people obey and see that being owned by Russia is good for them if they don't struggle. Thanks for all the money, could always do with more. Terrific! ... almend'   

Thumb war in 3-2-1 

Trump then went to Bethlehem in the West bank to talk with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. He told him Iran was bad and Islamist Islamic terrorists were evil losers, he didn't want to call them 'monsters' as they might like that. They were evil losers LOSERS most bogus losers dude. 
 

The Russian Long Play

The name is Haarlem, Erwin van Haarlem ... or is it? 

As anyone with half a brain knows, a good spy isn't some twat in an Aston Martin and a tux, a good spy is one who is ordinary looking and blends in.   

Vaclav Jelinek was born in Modrany, a small village near Prague in 1944. His da sold ice cream until the commies took over. Jelinek had to enlist in mandatory military service which was the time of the Cold War. He got promoted to the Czechoslovak Ministry of the Interior but grew bored with the routine jobs. 

He was caught reading up on how to learn German instead of guarding a checkpoint and he thought he'd get into trouble for it. 

Instead of being forced to eat Gulag which as you know is a stew made from turnips and rat meat he was interviewed by the Statni bezpecnost,  the Czechoslovak secret State police.

 We are friendly ... lol! 

They had been looking at his file and he fit the bill.  A womaniser, highly intelligence, patriotic, a risk taker and best of all prone to violence. While that won't get you a job in yer local bank, having that on yer resume in Cold War Czechoslovakia would get you a job in the StB nay prabs.  

He undertook 3 years of training and then to Austria to orientate him to get him used to the West. He was either a kind of Colonel in Czech intelligence StB or Czech military intelligence SFGF. 

 

He was given the new identity of Erwin van Haarlem a dutch infant that was given up for adoption. What happened to the child is not known that is why they use missing persons for fake identities. After applying for his Dutch passport he then went to London in 1975. The exact nature of his job wasn't known. He was to spy on Jewish dissident groups and get intelligence on the British military and then later on the US Star Wars program. That part of the job was shite cos Star Trek is way better.

He got a job in the 24th-floor Roof restaurant at the Hilton Hotel on Park Lane, Mayfair. He used a radio to received messages and sent out messages in magazines in invisible ink. One such message was his disgust at people asking for ketchup ... a fucken disgrace, good food is wasted on the Brits. 

In 1977 he received the message that the real Erwin van Haarlem's mother was looking for him with the help of the Red Cross and if she contacts him to agree to meet up. The Dutch embassy gave her his London address and in early 1978 she met him. We still don't know why she suddenly decided to look for him at that time.

Ich Bin Ein Nazi Rapist

Johanna van Haarlem mentioned that his hair was darker than his father and that he was shorter but she went along with it. 

In 1943 she was an 18 year-old  virgin when she met his fake father on a train. Gregor Kulig was a 23 year-old Polish Nazi soldier. Four weeks later he raped her at a party. 

When she became pregnant her father who was Jewish was outraged and told her to move and to give the child away. She tried to live as a single mom but ended up taking the baby to an orphanage. Over the years the orphanage sent letters to Johanna to take back her child but she never replied to them. 

Having a Dutch Jewish mother was great cover for a spy. He went to Holland and met the family. His job at the restaurant promoted him from waiter to assistant purchase manager. He visited the Polaris submarine base and other military installations giving information about underwater sonar chains that NATO used to detect subs with. 

He didn't like his fake mother but had to keep up the act. He became an artist/art dealer though no one in the art business had heard of him and he always had money. He gave his mother expensive gifts but to him she was a Nazi fascist that collaborated with foreign soldiers. 

Someone is hiding a secret and I know where

He even took girlfriends to Holland to meet his fake mom. In 1986 he noticed a car tailing him then around his flat there were "new" postal workers, telephone repairmen and window cleaners that seemed to clean windows daily. 

A woman in the local Neighbourhood Watch Scheme contacted police about a morse code sound from her TV at 9.20pm every night, it really spoiled her enjoyment of Benny Hill.    

MI5 set up a stakeout in a neighboring building and watched his flat. In 1988 they burst in on him listening to his "special" station on the radio.

In his flat were tiny code books and information on how to get British citizenship. Also paintings that he had told his accountant he had sold.   

During questioning he kept to his cover and when his mother visited him in prison he still told her he was her son and that it was all a mistake. A DNA sample proved they were not related though. 

She looked for some remorse and some affection but he was cold towards her now. Johanna died in 2004. 

He was sentenced to 10 years in prison for espionage. After serving 5 years he was deported back to the Czech Republic and has been living free for the past 23 years. 

The kind of story that should be made into a movie. The Russians did this kind of shit and do you really think they ever stopped it? The US haven't stopped spying on them.

10 Russian spies caught in New York in 2010 says they are still at it. The Slovakian intelligence service accused Russia of trying to influence public opinion and to infiltrate various organizations in 2015. This year they elected a pro-Russian candidate to lead them. This is after decades of mistrust for Russia and rightly earned. 

Putin the former KGB agent and now the owner or Russia and the US

Did the Russians do the same thing in the US as they did in Melania's home of Slovakia? They love the long play. Was Melania a honeypot trap? Good spy connections and covers take time, years in fact. Everybody thought Hillary was going to win, even Trump was prepared to declare the election rigged, how the fuck did he do it? 

Old Knudsen thought she was going to win and you know it's suspicious when he's wrong. 

You have Trump supporters saying things like they listened to both candidates, they made up their own minds and realised they were bigots voted how they pleased. Russia did not make them vote for anyone. Going by the popular vote they didn't vote him in at all and the people's vote didn't matter.  

So the question is, blackmail, bribes, how many Electoral voters does Russia own? The American public don't even know who most of the Electoral college are. Secret votes cast in private, what kind of way is that to run a cuntry? ... not that the Russians are complaining, they are well pleased.

 

  

  

Is Melania Trump Donald's Russian Spy Handler?

Trump and the Russian Alfa Bank may have been communicating on a secure "secret" server for years and the FBI may have known about it since the summer but that doesn't mean they are up to no good or that the clever and devious Russians are influencing him in any way. I'm sure Wikileaks would have found this connection ..... oh that's right, they only do Hillary's e-mail.

I'm sure that Alfa Bank severing the link when questioned about it was all above board too. I'm sure that FBI director James Commie Comey had a perfectly good reason to not look into it too closely but to blame Hillary on something she didn't have anything to do with.

 He's he is a very bright person, talented without a doubt.... and takes direction well. 

I'm sure Trump’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort having pro-Russian contacts in Ukraine and Trump's foreign policy in Ukraine matching Putin's will was purely coincidental. 

First contact in 1999. 

Melania born in an Eastern Bloc cuntry under Soviet rule, her father was a member of the Solvenia Communist Party. She attended university for one year before dropping out .... yet she can speak Slovenian, Serbian, English, French, and German. I suspect she is quite fluent in Russian and skilled in mixed martial arts and a crack shot with a gun too. 

She met her target at a fashion week party. He was married but tried to get her phone number anyways, she played hard to get .... but not too hard. 

  

She was soon mixing with the power house people in the US all the while grooming Donald for something big, something tremendous. 

Even with his checkered past and shit that any real politician wouldn't stand a change with the experts in Russian deemed it time to cash in on the dissatisfaction there is in the divided United States. Divide then conquer. 

Trump was weened off coke and taught body language techniques, he was schooled in the art of deflection and distraction. He had already sown the seeds with the birthers over the years and was transformed from a Clinton loving Democrat to their worse enemy Republican dude within a year. 

 

Anna Chapman top right. 

Finding this hard to believe? Just remember the 10 Russian sleeper agents discovered in the US in 2011. Colonel Alexander Poteyev who sold them out was just recently found dead this year in the US of a suspected brain aneurism. About the same time that the FBI found out about Trump's secret communication with a top Russian bank. 

Sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman who was based in New York was Melania's back up in case he wanted to trade in for a younger model again. She had orders to seduce or assassinate Trump, depending on how cooperative he was.  

She says that all they had to do was stroke his ego, play to his vanity and fund some of his overseas projects. When she was caught and sent back to Russia she also attempted to seduce Edward Snowden and get him to marry her so he'd be stuck as a Russian citizen who has to ask permission to leave the cuntry. 

Chapman had already made contact with Trump and is proud of her signed copy of Trump's book 'The art of the deal'.

Chapman's father was a KGB official and Chapman had often worked as a model as her cover .... sound familiar? She had been working in real estate in New York which also helped her to meet and have reason to talk to Donald and Melania Trump. 

Answer me this, how could a serial sexual predator and draft dodger who has not released his tax details and is shady about various business deals get so far in the US election? Trump isn't intelligent enough himself.  

Julian Assange seems to have it out for Hillary big time. He's hiding in the Ecuador embassy in London to evade rape charges and Ecuador sees Russia and China as big brother nations to it. Ecuador has a billion dollar trade agreement with Russia for fucks sake. 

The e-mail hacks, the FBI cover ups, the spy craft .... it's all there. You think democracy is under attack because the DNC slapped Bernie down because they knew he would have a real chance of losing? Well that's politics but what Trump is doing is espionage. Hey don't believe me, just remember that red looks good on Trump even if it clashes with his orange skin.     

Melania Gets Her Tits Out For The Voters

Probably out doing charity work or something.

Yet another post on why you should vote for Donald Trump. First of all it would be tremendous, probably definitely the best decision you've ever made in yer life. Everybody loves him, even the gheys, coloureds, broads and beaners, they all love him. The crooked Democrats hate him because he's a billionaire for the common man and tells it like it is.
If he sees a fat or unattractive woman he'll tell her outright how disgusting she is. Fuck her nice personality, put a bag over her head and make her diet and workout .... you have to respect the man's tough love. He never got any when he was growing up, he was given a million bucks and told to go and play. 

It's a wonder he turned out so normal and well adjusted.

What is there not to love? A rich white guy who was smart enough to be born into a rich family and smart enough not to get sent to Vietnam like all those losers such as John McCain and John Kerry. Imagine what the werld would be like if there wasn't a Donald J Trump, if the gooks had killed him in Nam .... a real lack of golf courses, what would the other rich people do? All those downer cows would go to waste just rotting by the roadside instead of being turned into delicious Trump steaks.

 
After Donald's wife Melania (which sounds like a form of cancer) gave a speech at the RNC which sounded very word for word in places similar to one that Michelle Obama had given years ago the media and the Internet has been having some fun with her.

According to unconfirmed sources the college drop out has several degrees and can speak 5 languages. Old Knudsen can swear in 10, doesn't mean he can do it well. Go fuckensee yerself .... assholeski ... fluck face.  

 There won't be any silly rumours about this one having a cock, well not her own.  

As you know it takes a lot of intelligence to pose naked but then she became a jewelry and watch designer because marrying billionaires doesn't pay the rent if they are still too young to die. Some suspect that Donald's orange tinge is due to being slowly poisoned but who would want to do that? 

 The human body is not sinful, we are all naked under our clothes.

Should we judge because not only does she want to be the First lady but she also wants to be the First lady to pose naked? It was a job and hey who hasn't taken off their clothes for money at some time in their lives?

Or why porn stars don't usually do well in politics or as teachers. What the fuck is moral turpitude anyways? Interesting resumes though.   

  Then I'll call her crooked and she'll win ... it's a tremendous idea. 

Remember when Hillary had her spread? Well neither does Bill which is why he out sourced the job to interns ...  Ka-Chow! Close but no cigar.

 

Trump is back to his usual controversy making self. Lawyer Khizr Khan wanted to use his dead war hero son as a political pawn only to have Trump use his vast intellect to defend himself by attacking his silent wife .... maybe she wasn't allowed to talk muses Trump. 

When Trump suggests Misogyny you know the Interwebs is gonna go wild. Like Ted Cruz questioning other people's morals or Nigel Farage going to his employers in Brussels to slag off the EU.

  It's those chairs again. A part of the Clinton/Trump conspiracy 

Great point Mr Trump. Maybe Khan's wife was just a silent piece of eye candy to distract us from Hillary's classified e-mails that organized the Benghazi attack. Who would stoop to marrying a hottie just to make yerself look good? Shame on you Khan. 

Trump served in military school so he's earned the right to question veterans. 

What kind of name is Khan anyways? It sounds like some Star Trek bad guy or something. Not at all American sounding like Drumpf Trump which as we all know isn't German because nothing good ever comes out of Germany .... except Heckler & Koch and Glock weapons. Yes I know Glock is Austrian but it's the same thing for fucks sake.    

Sitting on golden chairs like everyone else does.  

Donald and Melania promised more naked photo shoots when if he gets elected. I for one think that a First lady who can barely speak English and that gets her tits out is the kind of First lady that America needs.   

Trump looked Barbara Walters in the eye and said, "Melania, who by the way is stunning, isn't she beautiful? Will free the beaver when I'm elected President" now that is an erection election promise I'll hold you to Donald. Yer move crooked Hillary.