Like A G7

Being a body language expert I've been asked by so many people to this interpret photo. Angela Merkel the leader of the free world is a strong and confident woman and uses her authority without trying but understands about image and what will go viral thus improving the view the world has of her. 

She understands that she needs to be strong with Donald but yet court the first lady Ivanka. Here she is giving the world what it wants. Only a small majority of morons think Trump is a good leader and ignore all the shit he's pulled and so the world is actually against him and this is what Merkel wants to show.

Trump went into the G7 spouting about trade tariffs and why was Russia not there?  .... oh *Crimea*?  That doesn't count because Obama let him take it and Obama wasn't a real President because he's from Kenya and black weak. 

He finished by talking about no tariffs because the G7 leaders wrote him a harshly worded letter.... with pictures. 

Has anyone tried the shrimp here? ... it's beautiful! Not as good as American shrimp but still good.

Trump forgets that the eyes of the world are on him when people talk to him. He also forgets to take his meds and where he lives and gets his wife and daughter mixed up which is awkward for Jared
but if he wants to keep his top level clearance he had better just sleep on the couch while they get busy.

Trump sits, arms folded trying to keep up with a conversation probably via interpreter and he's just remembered a great Tweet he could do about Hillary .... and it's gone. 'why is this little German boy shouting at me?'    

PM Shinzo Abe of Japan or China or somewhere like that with the slitty eyes is showing support by mimicking Trump's folded arms. Like Trump he doesn't like strong women but it's a cultural cunt thing with him rather than just a misogynistic cunt thing that Trump has.  

Michael Bolton with the mustache looks like he'd rather be singing a ballad than being there getting torn a new one .... in fact she could just be telling them about her perfect Sunday because everything sounds angry in German. 

Bolton doesn't fold his arms as the other two beat him to it but he feels vulnerable so he hides behind a folder covering his soft bits. 

You are the American President, remember? No this is not the White House.  

Merkel has taken the table space but Macron tries to join in with a clenched hand on the table as if to say, "yeah what she said" he likes to appear tough as he's not well liked at home and still has the taste of Trump's cock in his mouth from earlier encounters. 

Theresa May is there as a gesture of politeness but no one has noticed her presence. Once Brexit goes through she may actually just fade from existence. What's the name of that little island between Ireland and France?  .... nope I can't remember.  Used to be Great something if you can believe that.   

Left in the photo is Larry Kudlow the Director of the US National Economic Council who supports Trump's tariffs because he likes having a job. Before this he was doing podcasts about Hillary and the Deep State and doing such a great job Trump hired the Elementary school drop out.  

People at the Summit think his name is Barry, even his name tag says it but he's just glad to be there. 

  

Then there is this picture where May goes for an authority table grab but no one notices. Justin Trudeau who is half angel and half human enters the frame and the room is filled with joy. The Japs have left so Trump is free to tell his not at all racist jokes:  "How do you blindfold a Japanese person? Put floss over their eyes."  .... everyone laughs cos it's true. 

While the G7 members were trying to appear relevant in Canada by putting Trump in his place yet sucking up to him the real power houses were trying on bling. 

Putin who for some reason is willing to meet with Trump at anytime got a best friend of China necklace.  Trump doesn't have one of those, he'll be raging. 

You have your G7 meetings, we'll just be passive aggressively mocking you.    

*Ukraine isn't in the EU or NATO and so the world's hands were tied over Crimea but Obama did set up an anti-Russian Neo-Nazi political party in Ukraine so he did something*  

The G-20 In Pictures

The very first G-20 back when it was only a G-14, they grow up so fast. 

This post is for my readers that don't reed two good. While Old Knudsen hates the poorly educated he is werking on being a more tolerant person. Even morons need to know what is going on in the werld as Fox News doesn't tell you half of it. Here is a post on the G-20 meeting in Hamburg otherwise known as Awkward Fest 2017. 

  

The Democrats spared no expense and flew in thousands of paid protesters to disrupt the meeting. You lost, get over it snowflakes! 

Angela Merkel the sexiest thing that has cum out of Germany since Eva Braun fended off the EU and wondered if Juncker stuck his tongue down slutty May's throat too. Does she get tongue after Brexit? 

She had to talk to President Trump as she was the host. Trump has German ancestry and is fluent in ... no languages actually not even English. Never trust a US president that can't claim direct Irish ancestry. Even Obama made the effort there for fucks sake. 

Merkel who can also speak Russian and English forgets how to speak English when Trump talks to her. 

Putin can speak German but the only English he knows is 'please, no more, I'll tell you everything' and 'my daughter has a banging hot body, it's tremendous'. 

There were other leaders people at the summit but we only know the main ones and the hot ones like JT and Macron.  

Trump got to meet some old friends like Xi the king of China. 

And again. Maybe Xi has a twin brother???? 

And again. Seriously though they should have name tags or something. 

But everyone wanted to see the will they or won't they moment. If yer a fan of the X-Files then you'll know how important the tease is, as soon as they do it though who cares huh? 

Trump was overly gushy probably nerves and the fact he is intimidated by the much smaller Putin who is a stone cold killa .... no literally he's a killer. Trump congratulated Putin on his election win which is to take place in 2018. I hear it'll be a great voter turnout.  

Trump touched Putin's arm and patted his back like counting coup but it wasn't in a confident way as a dominant Trump pulls the other person towards him and doesn't pat arms from below.

The first handshake was photobombed by that speccy EU cunt. Old Knudsen wasn't for Brexit before but since that speccy cunt spoiled the moment Old Knudsen has gone full Brexitard. 

Trump even styled his mullet special for the occasion. On the next handshake he made sure his handshake was underneath and subservient. Putin likes to be on top. 

They spoke for 2 hours with Putin's people taking notes and Trump having to be reminded by his staff about certain codes etc. The KGB can make you think you are having a polite conversation while they are actually doing some light interrogation.  

The line up for the group leader photo had Trump standing on the very end. As like when the President of Poland's wife shook hands with Melania while snubbing Donald, Marcon of France who is a confidant and compassionate male felt sorry for Trump's ego and moved from beside his bestie and new love Justin Trudeau to take the end slot.

As like in the traitorous war for Independence the bloody French cum to the rescue again. I pity anyone that needs the French.

At all the G-20's Obama has attended he was never that far away from the host nation. Trump was definitely put on the naughty step.

Trump had plenty of time to sit and think. How could he make them rue the day? Perhaps with trade tariffs and angry tweets like a real man would do. He could bomb some caves in Afghanistan again that got him hard before.

The foreign crap they serve for dinner had Trump on an extended visit to the toilet or as he said 'a meeting with the Indonesian leader' .... does Indonesia even have a leader? ... nobody knows.

He let the next just as qualified as he is person to stand in for him. The First Lady daughter/wife Ivanka the owner of a fashion brand who recently stated she had no interest in politics was an obvious choice.

As she says 'life never hands you things, you have to work for it' ... so wise and self-aware.

Like a president she sat on her own with no one talking to her and blamed Obama. She took the time to repeal all trade deals that Obama had set up with Poland, luckily she was only President for 20 minutes as her father's business all came out rapidly and only ass juice was dripping now. You can function with an ass juice drip but the tighty whities are gonna need bleached.

A staffer apologized to Poland and the trade deals are still on. She may have also nuked a country but couldn't remember which one. Is it Iran or Iraq that is the bad guy? .... who knows? Those European place names all sound the same to me.

A most successful summit, we aren't sure if anything was agreed upon though Trump has been tweeting how he wants to form a US/Russian cyber unit to prevent any future hacking. Trump has repeatedly said the US Intel community are shite and believes Russia more than he does them.

After numerous derogatory and very public remarks about the Intelligence community Old Knudsen wouldn't be surprised if some interesting info comes to light very soon.  Perhaps the file the FBI are bound to have on Trump dating back to his visits to Soviet Russia.

Trump may have a friend in Putin but sure knows that the rest of the world hates him. He'll be needing a ton of MAGA rallies to get his confidence back up after this.

When The Leader Of The Free World Met Donald Trump

Trump using humor and playing the fool, he excels at the latter. 

Trump has been a harsh critic of Angela Merkel. He has gone as far as saying that she is ruining Germany. The average life expectancy rate is 2 years more in Germany than in the US ... ah socialist medicine. Don't worry, he's promised great healthcare to all Americans so we'll expect the average American to reach 80 years of age in no time.

He has denounced her accepting huge amounts of refugees but the US has a large ocean separating them from the places they bomb and doesn't have any other plan on how to help them so he can fuck away off. If you just leave them to suffer and die they'll give you more trouble. People don't like being treated like shit for some reason. 

Trump has also denounced nations that don't pay the requirements for being in NATO and Germany is one of them. 

They first shook hands and while Trump loves the close to body handshake he lost out on dominance with her hand being on top and a confident and steady gaze. His mental process no doubt started to unravel here as he is used to fawning women and being able to tell them what to do. 

Unlike Theresa May there was going to be no hand holding here. 

 WTF Donald? 

Trump gave away his dominance of the two even more by trying to use humor. He said, "As far as wiretapping, I guess, by this past administration, at least we have something in common perhaps."

Merkel was tapped by Obama (not in that way) in 2010. It was an international incident because while all nations spy on each other getting caught in such a big way was stupid. This was a massive insult to Germany and to Merkel herself .... and still not really a laughing matter. 

Next up, 'how many Jews can you fit into a microwave oven? .... none because the CIA are in there.'  

Merkel's body language is professional. She hates his guts but she is civil. She relaxes and leans her body towards him and has her outer leg towards him. Trump is on the edge of his seat ready to be combative. Merkel and the media have him climbing the walls, there is no comfort zone for him here. 

The press shouted for a handshake and he sat there stony faced not answering. Merkel was heard saying, 'I think they want us to shake hands' but he ignored her. Those fake news people weren't going to tell him what to do.

     

He's shaken hands before and has been harshly mocked over it. The Japanese really don't like to be touched and Trump not only shakes their hands but places his other hand on top to show who is in charge. Mr Abe, you're having the meatloaf .... bitch! 

His handshake with the second coming Trudeau spawned a million memes. Trump cannot control handshakes and fails at intimacy,  he is aggressive when it comes to touching others, even his own family. He only gives hugs for the camera but I bet he punches his wife on the shoulder in private. "Fantastic honey I'll be in DC, love ya too buh bye" ::: thump:::  

Merkel speaks good English but doesn't speak stupid very well. A German reporter questioned Trump on why he hates diversity and called his policies isolationism. Trump kept saying how he is a trader, a fair trader a good trader .... yes, it did sound like traitor. 

He then questioned where the reporter got such ideas and maybe she was reading fake news. Merkel cast some shade at Trump for that one. If looks could kill. 

Yeah cutting foreign aid (except to Israel) trying to ban Muslims and wanting to build a wall. How the fuck do you get isolationism from that? 

They shook hands at the end with Merkel and her steel like gaze fixing him like a deer in the headlights, her hand turned to be on top too.

It's the little things that we might not even notice but registers on some level. In the TV show Billions a female astronaut shook hands with a therapist who was to evaluate her. The therapist noticed the strong confident handshake as asked if it was on purpose, the astronaut said, "you tell me." 

Later she admits her father taught her to give a firm handshake as she would be working with a lot of males and had to display strength.      

Merkel also met with business leaders including the First Lady Trump's daughter Ivanka who no doubt was only there to line her pockets with deals like the ones she has made with China and Japan. 

Germany beat austerity with a surplus of products and they still need the US to buy their stuff. I have every faith in Angela Merkel that she'll get a fair deal from these traitors traders or she'll tell them to fuck off and make it work some other way. 

Trump no doubt loaves meeting with confident world leaders that he can't buddy around with. Even the Irish PM spoke up about the importance of immigrants to the US. Trump is losing and the more he loses the more he says he's winning and the more he needs ego feeding rallies and golf weekends. 

He isn't a diplomat and his people aren't either, and it's showing. He can only bullshit his voters and once the cuts kick in they'll be catching on too. 

The score: Merkel - 4  Trump - 0 

 

 

    

Chris Cross Dressers

Chris Pine, Hemsworth, Evans and Pratt

Hollywood A-listers Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans and Chris Pratt love to play practical jokes on each other and have now realised that they could take it to another level because people were always getting confused about which Chris is which. 

One of the Chris' in a tight white shirt ... does it matter which one? 

The Chris who was in Star Trek ..... well Hemsworth played James Kirk's Da in Star Trek and Chris Pine was Kirk himself.  It's so confusing. 

One night when they mistook Robert De Niro for Al Pacino they came up with a cunning plan to combat conflicting work and home schedules. They turned up at each others premieres and homes and no one was any the wiser. 

Chris Pratt stood in on a date for Chris Evans who had game tickets that day. Chris Pratt was able to talk about how great it was to play 'a' superhero in the movies and his date was mesmerized by his humour and movie star charm, he even got to third base and got a second date on which he fully expects Evans to go all the way unless he can't make it and then Pratt will gladly step in again. Chris Evan's team lost by the way. 

     I'm Kirk all right and you love it.

Chris Evans played the parts in Star Trek in which Kirk needed to be smug and sexy or to have charm.

Chris Pine saved a load of money on CGI by using his actual skinny body in the first Captain America movie, fans were amazed a week later when Evans appeared with the muscles and wanted to know his exercise routine, he just smiled and made everyone giggle and forget the question. 

Hemsworth and Pratt got all the baby duty and those pictures designed to explode ovaries. 

Some just aren't cut out to look after children.

Chris Pratt's wife Anna Faris appeared like she was catching on when Chris Pine had a second cup of coffee, her husband never has a second cup of coffee. 

Chris Hemsworth was substituted at half time and soon Anna had forgotten all her doubts. She didn't even question that his foreskin had magically grown back ..... Such is the power and confusion of the Chris.   

 Angela Merkal sees through my bullshit.

I don't believe anything I read on this blog. I also don't believe that Greece has got no money and will invade the fuck out of it (again) to get ma money bitch. It's true, Greece has about 550 billion drachma locked away in its vaults, which is around 3 and a half Euros.

Power Mad Germany Goes On the Defensive

 

In light of Edward Snowden giving out wee 'yes we knew already' secrets about the US spying on it's allies Old Knudsen, who having had centuries in the security sector feels that he must address the subject.  

The Wintery soldier the brown star legend

Why America and it's allies must spy on Germany .

In January 1917, a British naval intelligence officer named Petty Officer Knudsen intercepted what became the most important telegram in all of American history. It was a daring proposition from Germany's foreign secretary, Arthur Zimmermann, offering German support to Mexico for regaining Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona in exchange for a Mexican attack on America. Five weeks later, America entered World War I. 

The US was trying it's best not to interfere in foreign affairs as they enjoyed a life isolated from all that crap by distance. The sinking of the ocean liner the Lusitania off the coast of Ireland by a U-boat almost got America to join World War I as 159 Yanks went doon on that day in 1915. The telegram in 1917 may have influenced their judgement to enter the war as they were looking for a good excuse that suited the American public.

 The Slutty soldier

Kaiser Bill had even sent guns to the rebellious Loyalist UVF in Northern Ireland so they could fight the British but since they were all talk, "Blah blah blah Orange blah Protestant blah Rome blah not really loyal" the Germans went to work on the Irish doon south instead which was a far better distraction.

Germans are a strange people who get the urge for world domination from time to time. Old Knudsen isn't judging them for that as he respects the very good tries they have made. The Japs are also quite strange but losing 2 world wars got Germany rebuilt and is now doing better than everyone else in Europe and Japan helping them in the sequel has made Japan quite wealthy too ..... now that is something to be resentful about.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel became the face of the BlackBerry Z10 in Germany, her suggestive pouting sent sales through the roof. Did the US hack her phone?

Meanwhile during WWII.

The Wintery soldier Old Knudsen and his sidekick Captain Slutty did become weary of fending off the Hun during those war years. Armed with a shield and a 45 caliber M1911 handgun he and Captain Slutty stopped Operation Scary Scary in 1943..... hold on, a fucking shield? A BAR (Browning Automatic Rifle) would have been nice .

 Ach well ya don't want to make it too easy.  

As any scholar of history will tell you, Operation Scary Scary was Germany creating the world's first 'true' cyborg, probably with the help of aliens as Hitler was known to be in contact with them since 1934.
Criminals were taken from prison and experimented on to become extreme killing machines for the 3rd Reich.        

Unstoppable cyborg killing machines with just one weakness, they could never say no to dessert.

We stopped them of course but at a price (desserts aren't cheap especially during war time) I lost Captain Slutty.
That poor lass with her well defined abs, I'll never forget the way she bent over to pick something up. Aye I lost her somewhere in Bavaria.
We were out celebrating wiping out a legion of these abominations and we got totally pished, most of that night is a blur to be honest. I woke up the next day around noon covered in blood but with no sign of Slutty. I marked her doon as a deserter and made sure everyone in her home town knew about it ..... shame on her family I say.

 

 Killing Germans is great fun but with so many other nations to kill and oppress no one wants selfish cunts hogging all the world attention, it spoils it for everyone else. Do you see a British empire ruling 22% of the earth? no you do not because we had to waste money stopping the Germans twice. Thanks to the Hun the British have been kicked out of dozens of cuntries all around the world.

The US has cyber intelligence far more superior than anyone else. The US is Daniel Day-Lewis while the rest of the world is Robert Pattinson when it comes to cyber espionage and technology.

Everyone spies on everyone else unless they have a treaty not to but the US can do it better and harder than everyone else ...... so why not?

The orders for all the spying habits upon the allies and enemies of the United States have been decided long before Obama, it's a set procedure that grows with the advances in technology however having government contractors knowing all the NSA secrets is a little dumb.
 

Davis Cameron reports directly to Obama so there is no need to hack his phone. Recently it was discovered that David Cameron is soul-less and will not show on many recording devices.  

David Cameron posing with Billy Hatcher, Britain's youngest head transplant recipient.

So yes, America does need to spy on such nations as Germany cos they'll probably start invading any day now with their solar powered tanks. Why the outrage Angela? did they find out that you play FarmVille?  Shame on you if you do ...... some nasty animal porn or a plan to take over the world would be far better.  

 

Obama:  "Angela, I hear you need materials to build a barn, maybe we can help you with that."