Power Mad Germany Goes On the Defensive

 

In light of Edward Snowden giving out wee 'yes we knew already' secrets about the US spying on it's allies Old Knudsen, who having had centuries in the security sector feels that he must address the subject.  

The Wintery soldier the brown star legend

Why America and it's allies must spy on Germany .

In January 1917, a British naval intelligence officer named Petty Officer Knudsen intercepted what became the most important telegram in all of American history. It was a daring proposition from Germany's foreign secretary, Arthur Zimmermann, offering German support to Mexico for regaining Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona in exchange for a Mexican attack on America. Five weeks later, America entered World War I. 

The US was trying it's best not to interfere in foreign affairs as they enjoyed a life isolated from all that crap by distance. The sinking of the ocean liner the Lusitania off the coast of Ireland by a U-boat almost got America to join World War I as 159 Yanks went doon on that day in 1915. The telegram in 1917 may have influenced their judgement to enter the war as they were looking for a good excuse that suited the American public.

 The Slutty soldier

Kaiser Bill had even sent guns to the rebellious Loyalist UVF in Northern Ireland so they could fight the British but since they were all talk, "Blah blah blah Orange blah Protestant blah Rome blah not really loyal" the Germans went to work on the Irish doon south instead which was a far better distraction.

Germans are a strange people who get the urge for world domination from time to time. Old Knudsen isn't judging them for that as he respects the very good tries they have made. The Japs are also quite strange but losing 2 world wars got Germany rebuilt and is now doing better than everyone else in Europe and Japan helping them in the sequel has made Japan quite wealthy too ..... now that is something to be resentful about.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel became the face of the BlackBerry Z10 in Germany, her suggestive pouting sent sales through the roof. Did the US hack her phone?

Meanwhile during WWII.

The Wintery soldier Old Knudsen and his sidekick Captain Slutty did become weary of fending off the Hun during those war years. Armed with a shield and a 45 caliber M1911 handgun he and Captain Slutty stopped Operation Scary Scary in 1943..... hold on, a fucking shield? A BAR (Browning Automatic Rifle) would have been nice .

 Ach well ya don't want to make it too easy.  

As any scholar of history will tell you, Operation Scary Scary was Germany creating the world's first 'true' cyborg, probably with the help of aliens as Hitler was known to be in contact with them since 1934.
Criminals were taken from prison and experimented on to become extreme killing machines for the 3rd Reich.        

Unstoppable cyborg killing machines with just one weakness, they could never say no to dessert.

We stopped them of course but at a price (desserts aren't cheap especially during war time) I lost Captain Slutty.
That poor lass with her well defined abs, I'll never forget the way she bent over to pick something up. Aye I lost her somewhere in Bavaria.
We were out celebrating wiping out a legion of these abominations and we got totally pished, most of that night is a blur to be honest. I woke up the next day around noon covered in blood but with no sign of Slutty. I marked her doon as a deserter and made sure everyone in her home town knew about it ..... shame on her family I say.

 

 Killing Germans is great fun but with so many other nations to kill and oppress no one wants selfish cunts hogging all the world attention, it spoils it for everyone else. Do you see a British empire ruling 22% of the earth? no you do not because we had to waste money stopping the Germans twice. Thanks to the Hun the British have been kicked out of dozens of cuntries all around the world.

The US has cyber intelligence far more superior than anyone else. The US is Daniel Day-Lewis while the rest of the world is Robert Pattinson when it comes to cyber espionage and technology.

Everyone spies on everyone else unless they have a treaty not to but the US can do it better and harder than everyone else ...... so why not?

The orders for all the spying habits upon the allies and enemies of the United States have been decided long before Obama, it's a set procedure that grows with the advances in technology however having government contractors knowing all the NSA secrets is a little dumb.
 

Davis Cameron reports directly to Obama so there is no need to hack his phone. Recently it was discovered that David Cameron is soul-less and will not show on many recording devices.  

David Cameron posing with Billy Hatcher, Britain's youngest head transplant recipient.

So yes, America does need to spy on such nations as Germany cos they'll probably start invading any day now with their solar powered tanks. Why the outrage Angela? did they find out that you play FarmVille?  Shame on you if you do ...... some nasty animal porn or a plan to take over the world would be far better.  

 

Obama:  "Angela, I hear you need materials to build a barn, maybe we can help you with that."