My Tits Are Thor

Thor with big knockers?

Marvel comics came out and shocked everyone by announcing that Thor will become a female, yes the big fella with long blonde hair and huge pecs will be a gurly wurly. Of course he'll only be a gurl for the comics so do we really care? 

Who the fuck reads those anyway? When I was younger and at an age to appreciate comics I didn't have the money to buy them.  Northern Ireland isn't exactly civilization and was even worse back then, you'd only ever see a marvel comic if the person who got the Newsagent's shop to order it didn't pick it up and they put it out for general sale. No idea what happened before or after but they looked cool. 

Thor being female is just stupid, he's so dumb and manly that you could just about imagine him as being ghey on the doonlow or in prison but never a gurl. The hammer is a penis for fucks sake! 

I like gurls in tight pants who kick high.

Screenwriter, director and producer Joss Whedon has written for X-men and Spider man and writes and directs the Avenger movies. He's famous for having strong female leads like in Buffy and Dollshouse who can kick ass .... which is really an excuse to see gurls kick high and hey lets call it sexual equality. 

Whedon is all for female Thor ..... try saying that with a clothes peg attached to yer tongue. He even suggested that Katee Sackoff could do it. She played a female Starbuck in the Battlestar Galactica series in 2004 which as we all know kicked arse. Aye she was pretty good but no way as Thor, shut yer cock hole Whedon! It has been suggested that she'd make a good Captain Marvel should that ever get made. 

Ya make shite like Antman but there's no love for Captain Marvel or She-hulk. 

I want to see hot weemen in tight outfits and green body paint .... um for sexual equality of course. Black widow with her little pistols was just too gurly still. Am I right sistas? 

Where the white women at? 

Next up in the comics is an African American Captain America. What the fuck? yeah um a Captain America of color reflects today's world ... Jesus was white, are you going to make him black next? 

Lets talk about what reflects today's world. African Americans are only 12% of the US population, Hispanics are at 16% quit the racist bullshit and give us some wetback superheroes.  Border man, with the ability to bypass US technology and sneak into the cuntry to claim ALL the welfare benefits. 

Captaino Lawn guy with the power to work harder than the typical American because that's what they do. Entitled Americans just hate immigrants because they make them look bad. Hispanics are really very under represented in the superhero world.

Chris Evans, the real Captain America. 

Luckily this shit is also confined to the comics. Cap can't get his shield up anymore (it happens to the best of us) and so says to Sam Wilson (The Falcon) "Look Sam, yer Superhero is kinda fucking lame, a black man with wings flying around, yer scaring the children and then there was that woman who was knocked unconscious by yer huge flying cock, put on my outfit for a while and pull a few shifts as Captain America."

It's as if the people at Marvel are bored, their story lines read more like a soap than a comic... oh look, Thor's long lost sister that hes never mentioned, she's called Thorina. 

Are we just trying to get female comic book fans cos I think the blokes in tight outfits is working. Oh it's making Marvel more 21st century, will we have a few queer superfabulousheroes? 

Pepper I can explain, his spider cock got stuck in my arse. 

Has anyone noticed that I've used the word cock now four times so far? What about a female Iron man, maybe make her the Iron lady, oh wait that's been used, Gog rest her blackened soul. 

Everyone knows there was a female Iron man when Pepper Pots put on her pickled peppered armour. That was the Rescue armour of course. 

What about Hawk eye being male? has anyone said this? 'yeah he can shoot an arrow 500 metres and split a hair in two but can he pee in the toilet without getting it all over the place?'

Go make a mess of some new superheroes and leave the established ones alone, if I have to see another Spider man origins story I'll scream. What about Power man ? turn him into an angry black woman instead of a man, "Ain't nobody got time for that" his sidekick Iron fist is a white blonde dude all into martial arts, now that is a character no one cares about, give him a make over for the Asians at 4.8% of the US population and make him less master racy.