The world probably won't end 21st December, it may happen on the 20 or 22nd, you know how unreliable impending disastrous encounters between Earth and a large astronomical objects can be.
The planet Nibiru is out there. It was spotted by the newly built Southpole telescope that was set up to track it.
Quite obviously its not a normal telescope, it operates in the upper engons of the electromagnetic spectrum.
That would be because Nibiru only exists in the fifth dimension but the spacial rip will be in this dimension. "We're all fucking doomed, kiss me Knudsen" said my learned colleague
Old Knudsen doesn't want to alarm any of yous, however if you don't want to die a horrible, painful death then send me some naked pictures so I can screen you as potential crew of the rocket ship I took of a Sycorax warrior a few years back.
Those who have already sent me yer pictures don't bother reapplying. Good luck with the whole not dying.
