A new species of small nocturnal primate has been discovered by scientists in Borneo. Yo ho isn't that nice? ......... no it fucking well isn't.
The thing about these lovely little creatures is that they are DEADLY.
If you are allergic to bee stings or peanuts you are fucked! They have a toxic bite that can potentially cause fatal anaphylactic shock in people.
The new species named Nycticebus kayan which translated means Bringer of Death hasn't been found up to now because they sneak around at night, looking at you with their big bug eyes and judging you harshly from the shadows.
Just think how many more creepy bug eyed fuckers with grasping hands there are creeping about in the dark .... is anyone safe?
Like a bug eyed ninja as deadly as a peanut ..... of death!
A smug ring tailed lemur judging you.
I can't look at these creatures for more than 20 seconds, if I do then it'll be 6 months before the horror fades enough from my mind to be able to get an erection again.
These killers of lust need to die! I don't give a fuck about yer problems or whats going on in the world, look at these!
It's either them or us .... and it won't be me.