My 3 readers will not be fooled so easily, you are well too endowed with the smarts. Go to yer local Home Depot or B&Q and get hatchets or other gardening tools then hit the army surplus stores for ration packs and other cool stuff you may need and keep it in a hold all, ready to go.
Until then wear tinfoil hats so you won't get turned when the comet hits. You can look stupid now or have the last laugh as yer neighbour eats his wife ..... and not in a sexually pleasing way.
