Iraq War 5 Years On, Happy Birthday!

The Ballad of the Flat Caps

Fighting soldiers who like pie
Fearless men who say fuck aye

Men who mean just what they say

The brave men are a little ghey

Warts and moles over their chest

These are men, the UK's best

One hundred men will test today

But only three will be arsed to stay

Trained to live off nature's land

Trained in combat, balls-to-hand

Men who fight by night and day

An hour for lunch tea breaks with pay

Back at home a young wife waits

Her Flat cap man has met his fate

He has died killing those oppressed

Leaving her his last request

Put my flat cap on my son's head

Why should I be the only one dead?

Hes not mine hes from the fling you had
Have him die like I killed his dad.

I always have to wipe a tear from me eye after hearing that song, well to be honest my sphincter muscles haven't been the same since I was taken by the Arabs during the first Gulf war or the Crusades as we called it my brown eye is prone to shed the odd tear.

Somewhere in the fog of war

A transmitter crackles to life.

Broadsword this is Danny boy, Broadsword this is Danny boy come in over:

Danny boy this is Broadsword whats with the funny names? Private Knudsen reporting over:

Leave your privates alone Knudsen I've told you before about radio secrecy incase the enemy is listening over:

Ah Major Heady Trauma what about ye? over:

Get me Major Crime you idiot over:

Major Crime, Captain Chaos, Sgt's Rock and York all dead over:

Corporal Punishment? over:

Beating himself up over the deaths hes lost it over:

Then its up to you Knudsen I need you to take Fort Dick over:

'Radio static' repeat over:

Take Dick Knudsen I want you to take Dick over:

We all took Dick an hour ago Dick was very hard to take over:

But you took Dick and that's the main thing, I knew you had it in you Knudsen, from now on you are my right hand man in charge of Dick you must hold it at all costs do you understand? over:

I must hold Dick no matter what cums at me over:

Good man Knudsen I'll give you a field commission to captain now what about Fort Dick any chance of capturing it? over:

No idea sir I've been in the barracks taking cock all day, gotta go Ryans privates are about to do the money shot over and out.........................

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