If You Can't Make Friends, Make Friends

I say I'm Lord Lookin, did I tell you about General Calumny Warner's funeral? I met him in [insert boring lifeless post here]

I was trolling the blogs today (not on my blog roll) and you know what? there is the biggest pile of shite out there complete with their yes men to comment.

When someone has B.O. you tell them they fucking stink right? so when someone is is a dry shite and the only funny bone they have is when their boyfriend shoves one into their arse then you should tell them right ? yes I know I'm setting myself up to be told I'm not funny, don't be silly, I may have the odd miss but every day?

Anyway I must be funny as so many have started to copy me.

Notice the odd older established blogger posting titty pictures and being more daring? ok they can't really do it but bless their tiny brown willys, or others pretending to be as interesting as old Knudsen and think they call themselves some kind of lord people will want to know? been there twat, I'm a time lord.

Some hints and tips.
If yer southern English don't try humour.
The aristocracy are not interesting.
Write what you know, in fact I told my old mate Ernie Hemingway that one.
Stop thinking about how yer going to make money blogging all the time and just blog.

In my opinion the Irish make the best bloggers but can hold themselves back, of course me not being a full bloodied Bog trotter is the exception to that rule as I have to be the best blogger in the world, well do you lot get spammed as much as me? Elvis, John Lennon, Lincoln and JFK didn't get shot because they were mediocre, others were threatened by their greatness .

I'm Monkey Nuts, I grind my own organ, yes its a small one.

Goober the dog here.

Holly Hatstand, c'mon put some thought into it.

There wasn't anything like me in the Blogosphere when I arrived but there will be when I'm gone so I'm going to invent all the aristocratic and anthropomorphized characters I can think off so those who "hate but emulate" will owe me big time, not like those soft living over educated cunts have ever been to sea , war or work so me working class characters are safe.