Killamory, Scotland-ish.
News just in that Old Knudsen the world's greatest blogger has been taken hostage by long time friend and glue sniffer Billy One ear. Mr One ear of no fixed address held a gun to Mr Knudsen's head and screamed that Old Knudsen was the prince of darkness and had shagged his girlfriend "Fat Brenda" the previous weekend.
Knudsen who cannot be held accountable for his actions as he is a "sex addict" did not seem unduly distressed though a puddle with lumps could be seen forming at his feet.
Police snipers will not be used in this instance as they keep feeling a compulsion to target Knudsen. Mr One ear has not made any demands besides 2 fish suppers, a can of Fanta orange and a can of Iron Bru. It is thought that the Fanta is for Knudsen though police sources will not confirm it at this time.
Stay tuned in for more live updates, now for something completely different. A house fire in Coventry leaves 8 members of the same family dead, but lucky the 4 year-old cocker spaniel was rescued and is doing well, ahhhhhhh.
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
Blogging Is A Dangerous Business
oldknudsen@gmail.com Old Knudsen
Labels: billy one ear, fanta, hostage
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8 comments:
Billy...this is Fat Brenda!
Give yer self up! He wasn't worth it! "O.K." wuz the worse shag of me life...his balls REALLY were bitter!
PS I'm pregnant
now, where the hell is your glue when you need it the most???
Is there a ransom to be paid? I mean, I'm not willing to kick any $$ in, but I was just wondering.
Good luck to you Billy. You'll rue the day you bagged Old Knudsen.
P.S. I hear he keeps a knife in his knickers. Go get it.
Help me I'm being held and am blogging against my will, ah fuck it the police gave up hours ago and went home, Billy fell asleep on the sofa.
Im not sure which is funnier, your story of the word varification which mad me think of a barrell of shitty winnetts!
Thank fuck the spaniel made it OK, cheered me up no end.
I am sorry Billy feels the need to redecorate the lounge walls with the insides of your cranium. I am sure "Changing Rooms" could do it much better for a marginally increased cost. And there is the plus that you would still be able to think, and do blogging. But I skirt the major issue here. You called Scotland's "second national drink" Iron Brew when it should have been Irn Brew. I know having a firearm pointed at your head can play havoc with your bowels but this is no excuse for inaccuracy.
cont suicide I sometimes forget my readers maybe more high than I am...enjoy.
perry its real name was called cunt breath but thats not TV friendly.
martyne don't go there gurl friend (I'm so ghetto) Irn Bru or Iron brew, depends on the region. Irn Bru made from girders
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