Give Me A Tip Or I'm Not Landing This Plane

" Waiter theres a jew in My soup," "keep it to yourself you zionist pig dog or they'll all be wanting one."

If yer in the service industry as most people in the world have been you know about the 'Tin-pot' dictators who work in it, these are employees that have no authority in the work place but can lord over employees and customers because they have something the others need.

I've seen the tiniest bit of power corrupt otherwise nice people, give them a different coloured shirt than the others and maybe a name badge and even it says "senior feces lifter" (old people keep dropping theirs) they will swell up with a sense of importance and will see themselves more like managers, a position they should never hold for the sake of the free world.

Chefs are major offenders, prima donnas in fact just look at Hell's kitchen you fucking donkey, or the soup Nazi, it seems to be alright to treat underlings like shit in a restaurant but in an office if you cup yer secretaries' breast or pat her arse and call her "love" and stand at the water cooler with yer knob hanging out then alsorts of charges are leveled at you.

Throughout the centuries waiters have been power mad egomaniacs insisting we give them extra money (tips) for them just being nice to us and doing their jobs, maybe if we pay bin men off they won't be so noisy and wake us up in the mornings, everyone has a price. (except Eliot Ness)

In some countries its normal to give a percentage of the bill to the server, in the old days we were happy for the custom that keeps us in jobs but now people get angry when they are only given gratitude and a handshake, going out to eat you expect to have yer food spat in by numerous members of staff as either a pre-emptive strike for not getting a tip from the waiter or for not giving the the chef any love, in Sweden chefs spit in yer food anyway as a sign of respect, its tradition I hear.

I'm not saying that *waiters* are snotty , condescending evil beings that make you look stupid in front of yer woman when you can't read a menu because they printed it in some dirty language like French or Italian, nor do they fart on yer cutlery in disgust when you ask for a plate of chips with fried egg and beans.

Alois Hitler Jr the half brother of Adolf Hitler was a waiter, during the war he even owned his own place in Germany which was very popular with the German officers.

Waiting was on the Nazi approved list of jobs that only Aryans could do. Alois married an Irish gurl named Bridget Dowling and because of such close links between the Nazis and Ireland the Republic of Ireland bravely remained neutral rather than side with the British in anything, but its all forgive and forget right?

Marquis de Sade once worked in Abrakabra, and the term sadism is defined as someone who sells that shit for drunk and stupid people to eat.

John Wilkes Booth the 26 year old actor who shot president Lincoln in 1826 supplemented his acting by waiting and recognised Lincoln as the bloke who hadn't tipped him the night before, it was later found to be a case of mistaken identity.

Osama Bin Laden was also a famous ex waiter before his career took off so to speak.

Lee Harvey Oswald was a short order cook that hated customers with huge fat heads.

Shania Twain, Sharon Stone and Pink who are better known as the 3 Macbeth witches all worked in McDonald's.

Pol Pot, Cambodian political leader worked as a bar tender, who would let you wait as he served all the hot weemen .


*I prefer the non-sexiest term "Waitron" * Fuck, Manuel is Going to kill me.