A Great Week If Yer Scottish.

The Palestinians gained respect for Alan when he bested 4 of their strongest warriors in combat to the death.

Johnston the BBC reporter has been released by his kidnappers in Gaza after nearly four months in captivity.

He later appeared beside Hamas leader Ismail Haniya and thanked everyone who had worked for his release especially Old Knudsen who had the "Free Alan Johnson" banner in his blog's sidebar.

Rallies worldwide had called for Mr Johnston's release. An online petition was signed by some 200,000 people.

A senior Hamas official, Mahmoud Zahar, said no deal was done with the kidnappers to secure Mr Johnston's release and that Hamas did not work towards the release "to receive favours from the British government," which is good because soon you cunts will be out.

"We did this because of humanitarian concern, and to achieve a government aim to extend security to all without fear." He said with a straight face.

Mr Johnston commented. "The last 16 weeks have been the very worst of my life," he said. "I was in the hands of people who were dangerous and unpredictable and who smelled like goat sex."

"I literally dreamt many times of being free and always woke up back in that room with a sand savage touching me up and feeling sticky."

Mr Johnston said he was not tortured during captivity but he did fall ill from the food he was served, "The sheep piss flaps kebabs just weren't to my tastes."

When asked what he missed most during his time in captivity he said," Not reading Old Knudsen the best Blogger in the world."

Ach lad I'm blushing I missed you too now get yer hair cut ya hippy.

Another reason to be glad that yer Scottish and not a dirty Sassenach or Frenchy.

John Smeaton, the baggage handler who helped tackle the idiot Glasgow Airport bombers has become an internet celebrity .A Tribute website aims at buying Smeato as I call him 1,000 pints, so far 500 have been pledged. To buy him a pint and to read more about his greatness visit, http://www.johnsmeaton.com/

The hero was out smoking a fag when his smoke break was rudely interrupted by two slitty eyed mongs who attempted a "cry for help" bombing. Smeato held his ciggie between his lips and grabbed the barbequed bombers, giving them a good old Raintown smacking . "what" ::smack::: "where" :::smack:::"you" :::smack::::"thinking?"

It makes me wonder how the whole Iran taking of our service people would have went doon if they had been Glaswegians instead of soft English.

Sandsavage: "Put down your weapons or we shall open fire."

Glaswegians: :::after the laughing had died doon::: "Away and fuck wee man." :::opens fire:::

Sandsavages get a taste of hard Scottish cock before they die, national pride upheld and the Iranians re-think the invasion.

For a great post on "Smeato the bane of Allah" read THIS by Clairwil .

John Smeaton now joins the ranks of Honourary Bitter Balls for not using a splash guard when tackling burning terrorists.