Bleeding Radiators

Let me tell you a little about my oldest brother Lars, me being the youngest would always find myself having to fend him and my other brother Gustave off. Gustave just went along with Lars for fear of getting picked on himself .

Everyday Lars would make some remark about how stupid I was or that you could do a connect the dots with my acne and I had a big nose. He was 12 years older than me and should have known better. The sarcastic comments and the pummeling I'd get everyday just made me fight back and soon not only could I fight but I could cut people doon with cruel sarcastic wit, poor Gustave was easy to get to but Lars it just rolled off his back.

Gustave being 5 years older than me moved out when he could leaving me and Lars with our parents. Lars was comfortable where he was and our mother would wait on him hand and foot.

The comments to put me doon still went on. I'd walk into the living room and wait, within 5 minutes Lars would say something at my expense. I always gave him the chance to stop by never starting it . One time he went too far and before I new it my fist had connected with his jaw sending him flying backwards onto a curio cabinet, our mother was soon in between us but he was a bully a coward and like most of that kind didn't want to fight back and just acted big.

Lars was 37 before he moved out, he bought a hoose 10 miles away and only then did we start to get on somewhat. He was in the Navy reserve and would come home now and again to get Ma to iron his uniform and make his tea while he had a bath using up all the hot water.

Several things happened for us to name Lars "Unfortunate Lars" he came home one night in his car and was probably drunk and rear ended a lamp post putting its light out, my Ma heard about it the next day when a neighbour just happened to mention that the light was broken, the neighbour didn't say how it was broken but she knew what happened, Lars never acknowledged it.
Another time was when Lars totaled a rental car when he fell asleep at the wheel and was then found to be over the drink limit. This time shook Lars up a bit and he stopped drinking.

Lars was useless with the weemen, he did live with a gurl once and even got engaged to her. Her hoose was getting renovated so she moved in with Lars, it must have been a whirlwind romance I guess, when the gurl's hoose was finished she moved back out thus ending the engagement, that was the only gurlfriend I ever saw him with.

Lars' kitchen went on fire went he left the chip pan on, gutting the whole room and while at work he slipped off a scaffold and broke his arm, the thing never healed right and he was in and out of hospital for two years, its still not right today. Ah poor unfortunate Lars. Its funny but throughout my life it seems that anyone who pisses me off gets strange bouts of bad luck. Losing jobs, losing loved ones and even getting cancer up the bung hole and losing themselves, its like my guardian angel used to be in the Mafia or something.

Lars did mellow out a bit, the last time I saw him was one Christmas at the family home when he was about 48. I walked into the room without saying a word, I could see by the look on his face he was trying to come up with something witty and scolding that would put me doon and at the same time amuse the others in the room and sure enough he did. I took the high road and rather than I get into it and rip him apart in front of the family I walked out of the room, his laughter still filled my ears but I felt good because I could control myself and not react the ways others wanted me too. I was better than him.

The last words Lars said to me were sarcastic. That same Christmas I was talking about bleeding the air out of radiators to get them to heat up better. Lars being older and obviously wiser said you didn't do that and I was stupid, he always made sure he had an audience, my parents and other siblings made a good one as they never joined in with the topic and only added laughter (maybe that's why I hate neutrality and appeasers) . I explained to Lars how to do it and how I've done it but no he had decided it was all untrue and that I knew nothing (I get that a lot) yet again I left the room. I didn't want to argue with a moron over something I knew and he didn't, where is the fun in that ? the last words Lars said to me was, "go bleed yer radiator" as I walked out.

I have not seen Lars since and I don't actually miss him. I never hated him I was quite indifferent towards him I just wondered why he hated me so much and kept coming after me . I worked it out to be that he was the first born and was jealous of me, he was never threatened by Gustave but was by me as our parents went easier on me because after 5 kids you tend to be more slack on the last ones and he took this as loving me more.

Lars wanted his mummy all to himself and to be the centre of attention, sad but true, so putting me doon and making me look bad was his way of making himself feel better. I still don't hate Lars and I really won't mind if I never see him again, he can have his mummy I just know she talks about me all the time anyway.

Lars taught me that I hated bullies and though I was turning into him as a matter of survival in the hoosehold I knew I didn't want to turn out twisted and rotten inside as he was so I knew what not to do. To this day the Lars in me comes out when I'm stressed or depressed but as long as I remember empathy and who I really am Lars will never win because as I said before "I am better than him."

A couple of years ago I found a passage in a book about bleeding radiators, I copied it and sent it to my parents and yes I did feel vindicated.