Whats that Pedo doing with that little gurl? oh its just Tom Wanks and his co-star.
Billy one ear gave me a bell to tell me that he saw Bobby doon at the video shop renting out some movies, so me and Billy met up and bought a couple of bottles of beat the wife and headed over to Bobby's hoose. We just got there as his wife Carol was heading out, she had her hair done up and was wearing makeup, must of had a date a fine looking woman.
Bobby was his usually sad sack self, still jumpy after St Andrew's day and his hair hadn't grown back yet.
The films he had rented out was 'Flightplan' and 'The DaVinci Code', he was just going to watch them on his own, luckily we are good friends there to keep him company. I was all happy about Flightplan until I found out it wasn't that one with the snakes on a plane, can't remember the title right now, so as punishment for not getting it we got Bobby to rustle up some chips and a couple of burgers, hes a fair old cook.
So when we had some food we put the movie on, see how considerate we were to wait for Bobby? so no angry e-mails like last time we treat him well , we even gave him a litre bottle of White Lightning to drink, its funny, every time he takes a swig from the bottle he makes a face, what a pansy.
So that Da Vinci Code, what the fuck was that about ? Tom Wanks and a fit french bint looking for the Holy Grail, Opus Dei , the Priory of Scion and the North America Man Boy Love Association, fuck sake I hate it when wankers go around making up history and shit, aren't people stupid enough? anyway I had already read the book, you know, 'The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. If you watch it you can believe the stuff about Emperor Constantine and about the Church killing loads of weemen in fact did you know the Catholic Church also had a bounty on the heads of any cats as they thought they were evil, yeah I'd really trust them to get you into Heaven. The bit about the Templars was well manipulated, some day I may post the truth as I was the only Protestant Templar there.
Ok what was with Tom Hank's hair ? the older Hollywood men get the darker and unnatural it gets, Bill Pullman and Pierce Brosnan being two others to get the treatment.
See many 6 foot 2in albino monks with a limp going about killing many people these days ? yeah pick an assassin that will blend in, good one.
The action was choppy and very contrived, did Ron Howard just do a half arsed job and hoped to get by on the controversy ? there was nothing to blow you away with or surprise you with.
I'm not going to spoil the ending because if you read this and still want to see it you you're a mong and deserve it besides I couldn't spoil the ending it was already spoiled. Yes the French chick was a descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene but can't do jack shit magic because the whole point is they were just people and its what you believe that counts anyway even though you're a moron, isn't that right Mahmoud?
By the time Ian McKellen turned out to be a bad guy I couldn't give a shit. Tom Hanks is always going to have a soft side to him because he doesn't look tough, all through the film I was hoping he'd get it on with the dirty Jesus gurl but its Tom Hanks, hes sensitive and slowly , romantically makes love, no quick rough shagging from behind with biting and slapping from him, the most action he got was from the monk that beat him up.
Just think if you did shag a descendant of Jesus, what a story to tell yer mates, of course bragging about sexual conquests is very ungentlemanly unless shes 'really' famous or 'really' fit then its expected, a post on how I nailed Shirley MacLaine (I drove her insane with lust you know) is begging to be wrote.
Nothing to do with the post really I just liked the gurl.
If an Atheist had children from the descendant of Christ would he slap them about and say "wheres your God now ?" Atheists can be just as nuts as fundies, if you don't believe in God fair enough but why get all bent out of shape about it ? its not like you're going to burn forever in a pit of fiery hot Hell fire stuff now is it? I don't give a shit, I'm safe for the Rapture so do what ya like.
So to round off, its a shit obvious movie that depends on the viewers to be thick. Yes we did get back at Bobby for renting it, while he was at the bog Billy pissed into his bottle, funny as fuck when he drank from it, you always take yer open drink with you, what kind of mong trusts their mates?
Bobby was his usually sad sack self, still jumpy after St Andrew's day and his hair hadn't grown back yet.
The films he had rented out was 'Flightplan' and 'The DaVinci Code', he was just going to watch them on his own, luckily we are good friends there to keep him company. I was all happy about Flightplan until I found out it wasn't that one with the snakes on a plane, can't remember the title right now, so as punishment for not getting it we got Bobby to rustle up some chips and a couple of burgers, hes a fair old cook.
So when we had some food we put the movie on, see how considerate we were to wait for Bobby? so no angry e-mails like last time we treat him well , we even gave him a litre bottle of White Lightning to drink, its funny, every time he takes a swig from the bottle he makes a face, what a pansy.
So that Da Vinci Code, what the fuck was that about ? Tom Wanks and a fit french bint looking for the Holy Grail, Opus Dei , the Priory of Scion and the North America Man Boy Love Association, fuck sake I hate it when wankers go around making up history and shit, aren't people stupid enough? anyway I had already read the book, you know, 'The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. If you watch it you can believe the stuff about Emperor Constantine and about the Church killing loads of weemen in fact did you know the Catholic Church also had a bounty on the heads of any cats as they thought they were evil, yeah I'd really trust them to get you into Heaven. The bit about the Templars was well manipulated, some day I may post the truth as I was the only Protestant Templar there.
Ok what was with Tom Hank's hair ? the older Hollywood men get the darker and unnatural it gets, Bill Pullman and Pierce Brosnan being two others to get the treatment.
See many 6 foot 2in albino monks with a limp going about killing many people these days ? yeah pick an assassin that will blend in, good one.
The action was choppy and very contrived, did Ron Howard just do a half arsed job and hoped to get by on the controversy ? there was nothing to blow you away with or surprise you with.
I'm not going to spoil the ending because if you read this and still want to see it you you're a mong and deserve it besides I couldn't spoil the ending it was already spoiled. Yes the French chick was a descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene but can't do jack shit magic because the whole point is they were just people and its what you believe that counts anyway even though you're a moron, isn't that right Mahmoud?
By the time Ian McKellen turned out to be a bad guy I couldn't give a shit. Tom Hanks is always going to have a soft side to him because he doesn't look tough, all through the film I was hoping he'd get it on with the dirty Jesus gurl but its Tom Hanks, hes sensitive and slowly , romantically makes love, no quick rough shagging from behind with biting and slapping from him, the most action he got was from the monk that beat him up.
Just think if you did shag a descendant of Jesus, what a story to tell yer mates, of course bragging about sexual conquests is very ungentlemanly unless shes 'really' famous or 'really' fit then its expected, a post on how I nailed Shirley MacLaine (I drove her insane with lust you know) is begging to be wrote.
Nothing to do with the post really I just liked the gurl.If an Atheist had children from the descendant of Christ would he slap them about and say "wheres your God now ?" Atheists can be just as nuts as fundies, if you don't believe in God fair enough but why get all bent out of shape about it ? its not like you're going to burn forever in a pit of fiery hot Hell fire stuff now is it? I don't give a shit, I'm safe for the Rapture so do what ya like.
So to round off, its a shit obvious movie that depends on the viewers to be thick. Yes we did get back at Bobby for renting it, while he was at the bog Billy pissed into his bottle, funny as fuck when he drank from it, you always take yer open drink with you, what kind of mong trusts their mates?
15 comments:
It wasn't a very good movie, but then it wasn't a very good book either. I can't figure out why books that are mediocre sell like crazy, and really great books sit on the shelf. The masses are asses, I've heard.
I assume it's a crap book and a crap movie, but I'\ve never read or seen it so I'll take the word of the man who is never wrong, the inestimable Mr.K.
By the way Old Man, "Atheist" is a Christian word; it assumes there is a God not to believe in (like "infidel" for Muslims).
I prefer the term "normal" for anyone with a brain who doesn't feel the need to believe in something as plainly insane as religion (I do so love to stir the buggers up).
I didn't see it, and I won't. This past summer, I finally read the damn book so that I could feel like a good American (it was an illness; it passed). I laughed the whole way through, especially since I'd read Holy Blood, Holy Grail years before.
Since when are the Masons the heros of everything?
I thought it was entertaining at best
Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm allergic to Tom Hanks, especially when he's paired with Meg Ryan. Achoo!
robyn its the controversy, just like that snuff film the passion of the christ, race and religion are hot topics.
dive Atheist, from the greek meaning to practice life without a god. I think you're thinking agnostic,heretic, is also a christian word, you can't avoid them, you live in a Christian backed nation, get with the program. You shit stirrer.
sassy sundry I can't stand the pair either, or alone though I liked that private ryan film,masons as heroes? next it will be scientologists.
rich rich you're cleary insane, it was like reading my blog with all the funny taken out.
You mean we get to practice life? No bugger told me. They just threw me in at the deep end with no rehearsal.
Bastards!
And you're right; I was thinking of "agnostic" … Arse!
What the hell dya mean, Kav and Kieran and Foot Eater are the funniest? We both know I am funnier than the three of them put thegither.
Brad's worst film, and it's a hard choice, must be mr and mrs smith. Jeezo, I can't even remember what it was about.
Did I forget to say your name? you don't need to bother with being funny,though you are but you're bigger than Jesus. When I go to blogs in outer mongolia they always have links up to you. Besides, I owe those three fuckers money, do you have any loose change?
Who cares how bad it was they were so purdy.
I read the book. Must remember to avoid the film over Christmas. Tome Hanks looks weird with bouffont hair.
Hello, Foot Eater writing from semi-retirement here.
I liked the film. Graham Chapman did a great job as King Brian Arthur and that last scene where he was hanging on the cross and his mum was telling him he was a very naughty boy tickled my fanny, I mean fancy.
Are you sure Tom Hanks was in it, though?
lol.. ya, that was my summary too :) I liked the conversation that happened afterward with my brother and my husband though. My brother and I were brought up roman catholic (but i am not catholic, to be clear) and my husband had been brought up with nothing. So he didn't see what the big deal was at all. hehe. It was a good night of explaining things :)
mental mac his hair abd his skin was darker, I fear aging is not going well for him, some of us have it and some don't.
Foot Eater I'm glad you're taking some time off obviously you're mad.
xmichra I can imagine it being like having a sex talk with a child. To make it clear not to try to get sex of the kid but to educate them.
yes, that was pretty much it. Don't be a christian.. but here's all yer facts.. lol!!;)
you had better not come home born again or you're getting kicked out.
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