Saturday, 8 December 2012

Malibu Attacked By Whales

After a 40-foot fin whale was washed up on a Malibu beach fresh calls have gone out to rid the world of these troublesome creatures. A spokesman for the California Department of Parks and Recreation said that towing it out to sea is no longer an option, maybe we can get government funding to clean up this environmental health hazard and build a missile defense system so that this never happens again.

Sean Penn: "It was cool at first seeing a beautiful majestic dead fish like the whale but now it smells as bad as the corrupt Republican party, get it the fuck off my beach!"

Hayden Panettier: "I used to like whales but now they have gone too far, we have no where to to swim and catch Frisbee while posing for the paparazzi we pretend not to see, whales are yucky and smell gross."

You guys, you caught me by surprise again.

And again.

And again.
I can't believe how bad I am at avoiding you guys.

Dead whales carry disease and could kill your children and kittens, stop these brutes from fouling our beaches. Don't let Steve Irwin's death be for nothing ok it wasn't a whales that killed him but they were involved behind the scenes  probably strike back at these demons on the deep before they hit the beach.