The Protestant Coalition Standing Proud For The Prods

Old Knudsen is a kind and loving deity and as you know ... he is the way. He doesn't mind who steals pictures from his blog for the blog is an act of Gog and should reach everyone of you shites, aye even the ones that find my blog by Googling rude words ..... you know who you are.

Ya know, that isn't true, Old Knudsen does mind it when certain people steal his work The Protestant Coalition for example, however I am a Gog of forgiveness and I give you a picture you can use to promote yer cause. I'd put yer website address on it but yer site seems to be doon, not paying her bills huh? Aye court fees suck big time.

If enough people click on this post then the above picture will find it's way into the image search every time The Protestant Coalition is searched for, yes it's the gift that keeps giving. 

Willy Watching

Caped Fear

A limp useless penis: Not my limp useless penis as mine is super stiff and multi- functional .

The Duke of Wellington once said, "If a man says he is not afraid to die he is either lying or he is Old Knudsen" that was right after I captured Napoleon's eagle during the battle of Watergate. If yer gonna keep a bird of prey you should keep it on a leash even in the park.

Old Knudsen may welcome death as a nice wee rest until the next time the planets align but he is afraid well when I say afraid I don't mean in a stand on a chair just because the floor is covered in cobras way I mean afraid in a way of people seeing me display affection or caring in some way.

Here are things Old Knudsen is slightly afraid nay um nervous of.


Dinosaurs: Too many bad memories from childhood.

Surveillance: Bill Gates is super paranoid, him and his robot mosquitoes. If he ever found out my blogger password you'd have nice posts about saving not killing the hungry Africans.

Surveillance: The Vatican robot spiders looking for a sign of weakness in Old Knudsen.


Killer robots: A terrifying outcum of all this surveillance technology when the Spam bots rise up and finally take over. I blame the I.T. people as they are just not right in the heds.


Jesus: I hope he never returns cos I owe him a lot of money.


Woohoo's parents: Cybil and Burt for they are as crazy and as unpredictable as a serial killer on crack.

Feminists: Lets call a spade a spade..............' Man haters ' with no sense of humour they are clouded by their issues as much as any Neo Nazi is. So are feminists for or against being feminine cos it seems they are just for hating Old Knudsen.

Prison: Serving more time in that jail run by space drag queens, don't get me wrong they were great the showers were warm and soapy but the food was minging.

Losing a loved one: Old Knudsen has lost count of how many times he has had to throw a loved one into a dumpster wrapped in an old carpet (a mark of respect)


Lemurs: Those bug eyed monkey rats will take over the world and no one will see it except crazy Old Knudsen who has been dismissed for years as being nuttier than squirrel shit, enjoy yer cruel lemur Overlords ................. fools!


Erectile dysfunction: See top picture, this um worry is also combined with having my willy drop off which is what my mother said would happen if I didn't stop ............... well you know what boys are like.


Hostile 17: Old Knudsen loses his edge and gives into the bland mainstream and is no longer true to himself. Old Knudsen is The Kevlar Rooster who will stand up for the weak and then drink their blood, his mood is anti-social and his swagger is manly cos he is sure of himself.

Allen Rickman: More and more people are saying what a hunk of a man Rickman is which means they are saying it less and less about Old Knudsen. Rickman is a minger paint him green and he'd look like a wicked witch.


Kanye West: Old Knudsen likes to ................. "I'm happy about your post but the post Manuel had about that ghey bar was the best and most revealing in the world".

I Give Thanks

Its Thanksgiving day and no I'm not thankful for the whole ethnic cleansing of the native Americans which was fun I might add and deserves to be celebrated I am thankful for these things.
That I have lived as long as I have with a good quality of life while many others haven't and don't.

That I defeated the Daleks with only 8000 people dying .................... it could have been worse.



That I'm not American, especially Texan for Floridian.


That my Knudsen hoors still love me even after the drugs had worn off ..... long story.


That I am so incredibly sexy.


That I tapped all of these arses.



But most of all I am thankful for the erections I get most mornings, its the little things that matter.

No I'm not saying I have a small willy ach do I not exude the confidence of a man with inches to spare?

Ribbed for her pleasure. Enjoy yer Turkey and stuffing.


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This Blog Repeats On Me

Something I found on the Interweb and elsewhere and thought it was worth a re-run.

I had her vagina for a day and she had my cock, worked out well until she wanted child support.

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day




10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.




What women would do if they had a penis for a day




10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......






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Matthew McConaughey in Reign of Fire, a kick ass film, for fucks sake look how big his chopper is.
.

I think that people who say that they don't watch much or any TV sound a bit too smug for my liking, suggesting that they are special because they don't know who anyone one is in the world of celebrity, especially when they are on the computer all the time instead. Anyway I don't watch much TV as its mostly shite but I do spend hours on the computer and like to watch films.
If I'm depressed I'll watch any old shite on the idiot box and loathe myself afterwards for what I have become the usual, but even in a suicidal gloom with my shotgun in my mouth I still refuse to watch reality shows about dancing and singing, how fucking ghey can you get?

America is probably the most hated country in the world right? yes even Iran and North Korea are nicer.The media has not helped this with their little snipes at the Yanks and its just not on.

Two animated movies,'The Rescuers' and 'Finding Nemo' make derogatory comments about the Yanks, both pitting Australian characters against the land of humping apple pie and Uncle Sam who is not really yer uncle and we won't tell yer da when he gets out of prison.

Then there is Reign of Fire, a story set in the near future when the world is ruled by vicious Dragons. A Buff Christian Bale and his Scottish side kick Gerard Butler (Murdarrrrr! the 300) watch as a tank rolls towards them with a crazed Matthew McConaughey sitting on top looking like a muscular penis with tribal tattoos , it wasn't established what tribe he belonged to.

Gerard Butler mumbles to Bale, "Theres only one thing worse than dragons...........Americans."

"In Texas everything is bigger even the Dragons, we use their claws as butt plugs cos we are tough hombres cum to save yer ass again."

Who will save our arses from the Yanks I ask? its tough being cute.