Oh look, I've won the lottery in Uganda, didn't even know I entered it.
Old Knudsen freely admits to not knowing everything, he only knows about 98% of things, the other 2% being things like what you had for breakfast or where that pen that he really liked went to and what happened last weekend when he woke up in a strange house covered in blood. Boring 2% shite.
It's always good to learn new things though, except for math, that can go tae fuck. I learn, I notice and I complain like fuck. At my age bowel movements and complaining are two of the things that make life bearable.
Here is what I recently learned and observed. If you get a load of bees and squish them together to form a short rod and put a wick down the middle of them they don't burn very well. I suspect that beeswax is just a name and not really made from bees at all. Myth busted, next week I'll be figuring out baby oil, it could get messy.
Guns don't kill people. Total dickheads who can easily get a hold of guns kill people. These dickheads who shoot unarmed people who are just trying to get an education at college or elementary school always seem to have a lot of support and have loads of excuses made for them, rather touching really.
I wonder if they would feel the same about everyone having the right to have guns if some bloke went to the school where their child goes to and killed them with his legally held firearm. Does it take that for these people to see that the US has a problem? It won't be solved with background checks but to not even want to try is a special kind of evil callousness.
Some people seem to think that Muslims are afraid of bacon in the same why that a vampire is about garlic or crosses. I love those movies when the vamp pretends to be afraid then has this look like 'wise up' on their face as they push the cross aside. People like the EDL or Britain First use the old bacon comments to offend Muslims but never do it with Jews, odd that.
I suppose they think that Jon Hamm or Kevin Bacon are the perfect role models or maybe even dead pig's head fucker David Cameron.
I also learned that people are more willing to believe that Prime Minister David Cameron fucked the severed head of a pig in order to get into a secret toff club than believe that he is willing to take in thousands of Syrian refugees.
I discovered the difference between a refugee and a migrant. The former is fleeing danger while the later is moving for economic reasons and if they are white they then get called ex-pats but only if they are white.
Hilary Clinton (the next US preez) is an utter asshole .... who would have thought it? Secret Service agents regard being on her detail as punishment as she'll reply to yer morning hello with a "fuck off" maybe she isn't a morning person, I think that's a perfectly reasonable reply. When Old Knudsen used to wake her she'd usually shout "get off me" but it was in a polite way.
Old Knudsen used to intern for Hilary.
A retired SS agent tells about her rude behaviour in a book he wrote just in time for the elections. He doesn't have an agenda but thinks that Trump would be a lot better to guard except for his constant bright orange glow, you couldn't be very discreet there. As Donald said, "Everyone says that Donald Trump is the best, Obama is horrible, concrete is heavy and every rose has its thorn" ..... What a leader.
Old Knudsen reckons Bernie Sanders wouldn't need protection cos he has all that old man strength and you'd be stupid to try it on with him.
Don't you dare confuse Sanders with Jeremy Corbyn. Sanders would rip Jeremy 'my vagina is crying' Corbyn into pieces in a cage fight.
Don't fear the raper .... er reaper.
The Pope met with Kentucky clerk Kim Davis, he told her to have courage and to stay strong. The Vatican then went into spin mode and issued a statement that said the meeting with the Protestant hoor bag and telling her to stay strong was in no way an endorsement of her anti-ghey stance on same sex marriage.
Like the shooting spree apologists many were out to dismiss the meeting by saying it was a quick hello and goodbye and the Pope didn't even know who the fuck she was, he is always saying stay strong to everyone, even to pedos and donkey rapists .... doesn't mean he means it for fucks sake. If you've met the Pope and he told you to stay strong then he probably really did mean it and I'm not belittling yer special moment one bit. :::sniggers::::
Nah if you wanted to know how the Pope feels then just read his own words:
"Children have the right to grow up in a family with a father and
mother capable of creating a suitable environment for the child's
development and emotional maturity. Today marriage and the family are in crisis."
He also met with a ghey couple and spoke about everything but them being ghey. Aye he's a lovely fella, so progressive, except for gheys getting married and raising kids and women in the church but still.
Lie to me bitch, the truth is too ugly to face.
Obama and Putin .... obviously
The US was reminded who the big dog really is when Russia finally decided to bomb Syria. The US, UK and Saudi coalition of evil have been bombing targets carrying out kinetic action in Syria for months. They claim to be targeting ISIS towns, bases and oil refineries but in reality they bomb empty towns or refineries still run by Assad.
Now with Russia in the mix the US is upset because they target anyone who isn't the Syrian military and that includes the Free Syrian army who the US have been training and equipping to overthrow Assad. The Russians are probably the only ones with permission to bomb Syria so outrage from the west is kinda funny.
I suspect the west will lose interest in fighting ISIS in Syria all of a sudden, what I've learned from this is that I've been right all along. Meanwhile the US-led Nato force are bombing hospitals in Afghanistan, don't worry, I'm sure the 19 people killed understand that it's friendly fire .... the wars are over anyways right?
