Sunday In the Pink

Pink for the Giro d'Italia. I'm sick of seeing men in their pink Lacoste or Fred Perry polo shirts looking like they were trapped in the 80's.

No one cares about yer bicycle race but they do care about this.

Would Old Knudsen rather ride a bike or would he rather ride .......... sorry, got distracted.

Old Knudsen, caring about the issues that matter.

Even Jesus said something about 2 in the pink and on in the stink ... or was it the other way round? ach I'm trying to forget all that rubbish.  As for Allah, he can fuck off back to Nigeria.

Leave the kiddies alone of the bunny will get ya.

Happy Mother's day, yer Ma should have smothered you as a child but she saw something special in those semi retarded glazed over eyes so thank her for sparing you so that you could live to read my blog.

Old Knudsen gives you something to live for even if it's just to find out what he's gonna post on the Lard's day of rest.

The Shame Of Northern Ireland

Building sites that come to a halt when the companies go bust and and other decrepit buildings around Northern Ireland are not a priority to hide and cover up in case some head of state might drive by or if it's on a route for a televised bicycle race.  

Yes these old ruined buildings may be an eye sore but every single cuntry has them. The option is to fix them up or tear them doon, not draw yet more attention to them.
Of course many of the common sense actions get blocked when local councils can't come to an agreement.

This is our true shame. Why do we have murals celebrating criminals? On the route of the Giro d'Italia you'll find these murals in full view of the world's press. When I say world I really just mean ESPN and the like.
When Alliance politician Anna Lo brought up the subject of flags and murals along the Giro d 'Italia route she was shouted doon.  How dare you try to use this race to further the flag and mural issue!

 Murals of hate below the cranes that were built by Krupp who built for the Nazis in WWII.

The Northern Ireland government at Stormont have managed to ignore murals and flags for 15 years so why would they want it brought up all of a sudden without any warning like that? Ms Lo who was born in Hong Kong knows a thing or two about bigotry as she has constantly received threats throughout the years when trying to make Northern Ireland a better place to live .... Why does she bother? We're all cunts. As is Sammy Wilson from the DUP who was the loudest at telling Ms lo to know her place.

The Stormont executive are not stupid, yes they appear that way but in reality they are devious, two faced and insidious. The reason why they allow criminals from both the Protestant and Catholic sides to have murals depicting masked men with rifles is to not upset these people as they are their main voter.
Yes they would rather appear to be a weak and ineffective government than not being a government because they have solved all the problems. They thrive on conflict and would not exist without it.

The world can see our bigotry on proud display and maybe they will catch a glimpse of some spide throwing feces at a tourist cos we don't like no outsiders.

Luckily no one in the big wide world really cares about the Giro d'Italia and soon this burst of cycle enthusiasts will make way for the sectarian marches and we'll be back to the odd hapless tourist wondering why Belfast is closed until 1pm on a Sunday again.

Northern Ireland's shame is that they either vote for the hate parties who are now sharing power or that they just don't bother to vote them out.

You get the government you deserve.

Pink Biker Gangs

Someone attempting conversation with Old Knudsen asked, "Will you be going down to see the Giro d'Italia?"

Referring of course to a bicycle race that will be in my corner of the world 10th May, next Saturday. 

To stand about waiting by the road for a load of bike riders to speed past in a matter of minutes at the most. Wow, awesome.
Don't we see people riding bicycles all the time? aren't they the ones slowing up traffic because there is no room for pussy bike lanes on the road?   

I do look at them and think, 'I wonder how much all that brightly coloured gear cost them and does it make them any faster?'
Not really cos they are always holding up traffic especially in places where you can't over take them, aye you just don't know when the bicycle will decide to wobble or weave at you when you over take them. 

Most bicycle riders wear colours that a blind man would pick out, not that they stand out anymore for safety than normal not so ghey clothes do. Did you know that 96% of sporting clothes such as team jerseys are worn by big fat fucks who have never done a sporting activity in their lives? The ultimate irony is the fat fucker in a sports top screaming at the players on the telly to do better.  
 

Pussy pink is the colour of the Giro d'Italia, anything that can be turned pink will be pink. Old Knudsen hates the colour pink. 

Also so much leopard print on white people .....WTF? 

He has not seen so much pink since coming back to Northern Ireland. It's a very blue for boys and pink for girls kind of place with many grown weemen wearing pink, this is probably because if you take all the thick make up off most of the weemen here they would look like men and so they wear pink.  

My answer to the question was:  "Making a special journey to watch a load of men wearing lyrca riding bicycles in a race I had never heard of until a few months ago."

That would be a no, in case you missed the sarcastic tone.    

Someone said that there are no stupid questions only stupid answers, obviously whoever said that was a fucking moron. 

Ulster Is So Ghey

At a round'a'bout in Newtownabbey there is a big white pointy phalis pointing to the sky. I have always marveled at Northern Ireland's subconscious phallobilia but now it cannot be ignored. 

For the bicycle race, Giro D'Italia, things are being painted pink in it's honour. Why do I have to be painted pink ...... because yer a faggot ~ Reservoir Dags.

So the big white penis substitute will now be pink. Oh and it's slightly tilted, a bit like Bill Clinton's cock.    
I would say that the men of Northern Ireland are so confident in their sexuality that they are able to do this .... except for how they treat weemen and gheys, and also how they want to ride their mammys and live with them forever.

Old Knudsen's Ma is premo BTW. 

Nope, the men of Ulster are so firmly in the closet that their nearest shops are in Narnia.  They'll deny it of course, that's one of the telltale signs.  Soon they'll be making giant bonfires, bigger than yers in order to prove their manhood to each other.  

Ach it's all so angry and ghey.
  
 

Looking Good For The Nieghbours

No postcode envy. 

Due to the recession and the inability of people in town councils to accept the change that the 21st century brings, town centres are becoming boarded up, empty eyesores. You'd think that to encourage retail to the area the councils would think of things like lowering the excessive rent and rates they charge and maybe provide free nearby parking but no, you don't get a council job by qualifications and experience, people vote instead ..... weird, and they expect things to go well?    

Fake shop front in England.

What can we do? Councils think that putting stickers or painted panels over the rotting boards and peeling paint it will cheer things up. The old bat in the picture doesn't look very cheerful. 

When the world leaders of the G-8 came to Northern Ireland the councils didn't want their towns to look like run doon shit holes because people would actually be going there for once. Quick, put up stickers so Obama won't notice as he speeds through in his armoured car named 'The beast.'  Um Obama has a helicopter thanks to little things like terrorism, he only glimpsed the new road that was hastily built over the ancient Crannog site. Fuck archeology, dig it and get out Obama is coming.... you've made amazing discoveries? what don't you understand about getting out?   

The town centre is dead, let it go. People want choice, better prices and not having to go to 3 different shops in the rain to get what they want. The Interweb means you can shop and price match from home. The large chain stores maybe ugly and soulless (like yon ginger child) but they have all yer needs under one roof. 

Supporting local businesses? if those businesses try to gouge me on price and carry fuck all then no. Find someone else to put yer kid through college. In the US the tax from sales actually goes to the areas, our tax goes to David Cameron's fat Christian baby man head.  

What to do with the empty shops? Many were homes originally, instead of spending £200.000 on stickers, spend a third of that making them homes again, there is a housing shortage ya know.   

So sorry about yer childhood memories of running to Bobby Spooner's shop for a penny mix of candy but no one cares nor do they want yer smartphone-less childhood replicated for them. 

£8 million has been spent on these fake shop fronts, the world is turning into an open world video game in which you can't enter most of the buildings. 

 Local artists are far less expensive, here is our version of Banksy. 

Now councils fear the intrusion of more outsiders, we can't just burn them like in the old days (1970's) and we can't threaten them (last week) so it looks like another million or 8 will be spent covering up our shame, incompetence and apathy. 

 

The bicycle race  Giro D'Italia will be held here this year so derelict buildings along the route will be hidden with these ultra realistic covers. 

The race is such a big deal that a British racer who won 5 stages of the race last year won't be taking part as he wants to get ready for the Tour de France instead.

It's understandable, if you had to chose to pedal yer bike in Belfast or in places like Turkey, Callyfornia and Switzerland instead, what would you pick? 

So Northern Ireland rushes to cover it's rotting underbelly with sticking plasters in case the world sees. Would it not be better to knock that shite doon, we need parking space, not drinking dens.

  

 

Civilisation Under Maintenance

Some Northern Ireland politicians do not want sectarian murals to be removed or sectarian flags taken doon that are in plain site on the route of the Giro d'Italia world famous cycling event ..... aye I've never heard of it either.
If Lance Armstrong couldn't be arsed to shoot up between his toes and win this race then why should we be bothered to care about it?

Big fuck off pictures in front of murals, that will look better and not cost much. What about painting all the flags white so that the eyeties will feel at home.

Maybe we can inspire local artists to um, paint a mural in front of the murals bur nice ones with clouds and unicorns an shit, no masked men or idiot martyrs, we need to go deeper. Muralception.

Giro d'Italia

You yap and you beg for a televised cycle race to go through yer areas as the councils want to fix up and paint the route so it doesn't look so bad and run doon but then you throw a hissy fit when someone suggests removing any flags or murals.

They support terrorism and criminals, who the fuck wants to see those ..... future investors?