Close Enough For Government Work

 

Queen Nefertiti ruled Egypt alongside her husband Akhenaten in the 14th century BC, her beauty is legendary in fact her name translates as "a beautiful woman has arrived." Old Knudsen was once married to a Sharon which translates as "oh fuck her she comes." to commemorate Nefertiti's beauty and to show what modern day weemen could do if they put the effort in a statue was put up at the  entrance of the city of Samalut.

Sharon also inspired artists to capture her likeness. 

The real sexy Nefertiti sits in a German museum all safe from the sandsavages who would probably destroy her. We need to take all the cool stuff from the ancient world just in case Daesh want to behead any statues. 

Some hilarious Egyptians have suggested that the new statue was what she looked like 4 days after dying. I'd love to see the artist as they go, 'yeah, fucking nailed it' then again art is a representation of what is inside .... ah fuck it, it's terrible.   

Nefertiti was a babe and now she's gone all Grace Jones mixed with Rachael Dolzeal.  

Remember when some old biddy wanted to make Jesus look better? I think we've lost our natural abilities to be artistic . Luckily we have computers to do all that now.

Jesus won't eat his cereal.

Then there was this Frozen cake. The Internet, goaded by a news outlet harshly mocked this cake. Then when that news outlet had all the facts and did another story that turns out that it was a charitable donation to an ill girl and the cake maker's Ma had died during the making of it ... wha wha wha it's the kiss of death cake full of sorrow, regret and sugar.  I wouldn't feed that to an ill child, all that bad mojo inside it.  

Yes the cake maker was black and probably thought Elsa looked too weird and that her features weren't strong enough .... I bet the cake maker's Ma looks like that. Now the Internet feels bad for having mocked the cake, even if it is shite. 

The more I look at the cake the more I want to nibble on those shoulders. 

 Happy first bleed, now get on like a cunt as you bleed from yers hooray!

Which leads Old Knudsen's mind astray. I pictured in my head a sex doll made out of cake, aye to bang away at it and then eat that creamy filling .... surely it's been done before. 

Plenty of baby cakes though.  

Made by weemen of course, all they think about is babies and doing house werk. 

 An artist made a doll of herself and served it cake????

 

My Internet search on sex dolls was long, hard and anti-climactic. Is it possible to do a search on cake sex dolls and not end up on the Real doll web site with yer cursor hoovering over the add to basket button? 

 

Maybe I'll take up baking but with the mouths open of course. Cumming soon to the shelves of Tesco.  

The ISIS On The Cake

Chuck Netzhammer is a US flegger who wanted Wal-Mart to bake him a cake that had the Confederate battle fleg and the werds "Heritage not hate" on it, obviously to show that he isn't racist, he just doesn't care about yer feelings.

Wal-Mart has withdrawn all items with the Confederate fleg on it even though that are still keeping their highly controversial Swastika range of children's clothes. Netzhammer wanted to test this and he was denied his cake, he then sent in a request for an ISIS fleg cake .... though he never said what it was or who it was connected with.
Just like how he leaves out the whole slavery thing and how the Confederate fleg is a present day fav for white supremacists like the Klan.   

I get it, heritage and culture, I've heard all of the excuses for belittling the feelings of others, next you'll say how persecuted you are and yer freedoms are getting taken away and yer identity is getting chipped away at too ..... well good, cos yer a dick.

Imagine that, white people who aren't offended by slavery, must be Republican and can trace yer line back to the civil war.
Many Southerners were conscripted and were probably too poor to own slaves and look how badly they fought so maybe God just wasn't on their side, ah well, the right side won in the end so yay!
The British were willing to accept abolition rather than risk a widespread war in 1833 ..... just saying like.

The person who made the cake in Wal - Mart probably thought it said, 'Happy Birthday' in Muslimese.

    Party central ... keep it doon a bit boys eh? 

ISIS may have been started in 2003 under a different name or two when the US in all their wisdom disbanded the 100,000 strong Iraqi military with 80,000 becoming extremists. They now get to celebrate one year of almost non-stop victories and so need a cake. 

Netzhammer from butt fuck Louisiana, they want their cake and will replace all of your racist flegs with their black banner of Islam. Their fleg has history and goes back to the 8th century, the writing at the top says, 'There is no god but God, Muhammad is the messenger of God.'

The middle circle has the werds, 'Muhammad is the Messenger of God' in case you missed it the first time and to make it sound more true or something. 

So their fleg like the Nazi Swastika is a peaceful and religious symbol while the Southern cross was for states who fought to keep slavery alive ..... shame on you and yer cherry picked morals.

These old flegs and symbols need to be kept in museums and not used in the present because times have moved on and what was acceptable to the mostly white population then doesn't fly now.  

This story reminds me of the pastor Josh Feuerstein who went to the trouble of finding a ghey bakery and requesting a cake with 'We do not support gay marriage' on it. 

What is it with people with Germanic surnames, they were the only ones that gave me shit when I was in Callyfornia, a load of bitter fuckers.

Anti-Nazi Cunts

Poor wee Adolf wouldn't get a cake made for him.

I hate small minded bigoted cunts. No I'm not talking about my readers, I love them I really do, except for all of those in my links.

Heath Campbell aged 35 from that sneaky Campbell clan that you invite into yer home and then they kill you in yer sleep named his children Adolf Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler.

Can you see where this post is going yet? Campbell who denies the Holocaust tried to get a birthday cake for 3 year-old little Adolf with his name on it. The anti-Nazi shop 'ShopRite' in bigoted New Jersey discriminated against him and his off spring and refused to make the cake. His 25-year-old wife Deborah said, "That's sad."

Thats the same shop that wouldn't make a cake for 5 year-old Attila the Hun or 49 year-old Fabio. What cunts!

Ok this is the real Adolf Hitler.

Nazis didn't have a great time during the war either you know the poor wankers lost, yeah hey lets rub it in a bit more.

Before anyone accuses me of being constantly anti-American because I post about stupid Yanks think about this, if they weren't so fucking stupid then I wouldn't be posting about them. I'm anti-moron and if they just happen to be American (The Troll) then so be it.

Now a morality question would you shoot Adolf Hitler if you met him as a 3 year-old child in a cake shop?


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